And on the seventh paragraph I rested, as we finally go to commercial.
We come back from commercial to what the closed captioning describes as the sound of "goats bleating." That's not really relevant. I just like the word "bleating." So two guys we haven't seen before are bickering. One actually says, "My master is stronger than your master." The other guy, to his credit, does not reply, "I'm rubber and you're glue." Instead, they fight. The one with the stronger master decks the other guy, and is about to bash his head in when Marty intervenes. Apparently, Marty is the strong master, and the other is his cousin Lot -- he of pillar-of-salt fame. Marty and Lot argue about the lack of grazing land for their sheep. In a direct quote from Genesis 13:9, Marty says they should split up. "Is not the whole land before us? Let us part company. If you go to the left, I shall go to the right; if you go to the right, I shall go to the left." If you're curious, Marty ends up going left. Lot ends up going right to Sodom and having gay sex with Jason Behr's ancestors.
Hey, Jackie Bisset finally gets a line. She exposits that she has borne Marty no sons. No mention is made of the vampire daughter. In the first of what will prove to be a never-ending series of bad edits, we're whisked away to some mountain top where Marty is talking to God. God's voice is familiar in the same way celebrity voice-overs always are in commercials -- you know it's someone famous but you just can't put a face to them. It's not Heston, and it's not Adam Sandler, but I've heard that voice before. Also, are there hurricanes in the Sahara now? Because the director has the wind machine cranked, and Marty's robes are blowing around like it's a category five. Anyway, God tells him he'll have as many children as there are stars in the sky. Dude, not even Wilt Chamberlain has that many kids.
We see an establishing shot of Abraham's camp. Apparently, when he said he'd go left, he meant six inches to the left, because it's the exact same shot as the last time we were here. Anyway, Marty and Jackie argue about whether or not he should take a concubine. Jackie tells him she doesn't mind, he needs a son, and bling blah infertility-cakes. Marty resists, but when Jackie points out the hot girl bathing in the river, he relents pretty quick. We get a shot of Marty doing the walk of shame to her tent, and when he gets inside, she does NOT look happy to see him. This scene would have made more sense to me if they'd just identified the girl as Hagar, instead of making me read along in my Bible to find out.