Mondo Extra
In The Beginning, Part I

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In The Beginning, Part I
Weird jump cut from Hagar's tent to the marketplace. Some guy is haggling with Marty over some stuff. Of course, because Marty is Jewish, he demands too much money and refuses to come down on his price. Maybe it's because I'm Jewish, or maybe with all the bizarre multi-cultural casting I'm just trolling for stereotypes, but this scene isn't in the actual Bible, and there have to be about a hundred other ways they could have shown him in the market. I'm just saying. He spots Jackie and Hagar arguing across the street, and tries to intervene. Hagar complains that Jackie makes her work too hard while she's pregnant. All she's doing is carrying a bowl of fruit, so whatever. Marty predictably sides with Jackie, and Hagar stalks off in anger. Marty yells, "Hagar! Hagar! Stella!" after her. Way to be discrete there, Mr. Leader Of Your People. Why not just put a stain on her dress? Before the scene ends, we get a comedy bit where Marty still refuses to lower his price. Then he spots a penny rolling by and dives after it. Hagar is running through a canyon somewhere. She was bitching about carrying two oranges and a pomegranate last scene, and now she runs a 4.4/40? Whatever. Again. I'll at least give her credit for looking Arabic, but she's also got a vaguely Jamaican accent, thus adding to our parade of ethnicities. She stops to drink from a pool of water, and God's face appears. He tells her to go back to Marty, have the baby, and name him Ishmael. He'll grow up to be a great leader. Props to the writers for going back to the source material. They did this scene almost verbatim. So she goes back and has the baby. Meaningful looks from Jackie as she assists in the delivery and notices it's a boy. Worried looks from Marty as he waits outside the tent. Terrified looks from Hagar as she realizes her part is almost over and it's back to auditions for Cool Runnings 2: This Time We Try Curling. Jackie brings the kid out to Marty, and in a scene more than a little reminiscent of The Lion King, he raises the baby above his head and yells out, "I call him Ishmael." Queequeg looks on approvingly from offstage. But that's not the weird part of this scene. The weird part is that The Extras are sitting on the ground outside the tent. All of them. When the baby is named, they go wild. They go wild a lot, and every time they do the shrieking and carrying on makes my upstairs neighbor bang on the floor and I have to turn down the volume. Morning at Marty's camp. Still six inches to the left. The Flute Of Approaching Mystery warns us of approaching mystery. A man in black robes and a hood rides up, and enters Marty's tent. He looks like either Siegfried or Roy, but since I don't know which is which, I'll call him Sigroy. Sigroy tells Jackie she'll have a son. Fortunately, he doesn't Heston. Unfortunately, he Shatners, complete with the inappropriately timed dramatic pauses. Jackie gets upset at the idea of having a son, since according to the Bible (and Keith Olbermann), she's two hundred and six.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
In The Beginning, Part I

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In The Beginning, Part I

Weird jump cut from Hagar's tent to the marketplace. Some guy is haggling with Marty over some stuff. Of course, because Marty is Jewish, he demands too much money and refuses to come down on his price. Maybe it's because I'm Jewish, or maybe with all the bizarre multi-cultural casting I'm just trolling for stereotypes, but this scene isn't in the actual Bible, and there have to be about a hundred other ways they could have shown him in the market. I'm just saying. He spots Jackie and Hagar arguing across the street, and tries to intervene. Hagar complains that Jackie makes her work too hard while she's pregnant. All she's doing is carrying a bowl of fruit, so whatever. Marty predictably sides with Jackie, and Hagar stalks off in anger. Marty yells, "Hagar! Hagar! Stella!" after her. Way to be discrete there, Mr. Leader Of Your People. Why not just put a stain on her dress? Before the scene ends, we get a comedy bit where Marty still refuses to lower his price. Then he spots a penny rolling by and dives after it.

Hagar is running through a canyon somewhere. She was bitching about carrying two oranges and a pomegranate last scene, and now she runs a 4.4/40? Whatever. Again. I'll at least give her credit for looking Arabic, but she's also got a vaguely Jamaican accent, thus adding to our parade of ethnicities. She stops to drink from a pool of water, and God's face appears. He tells her to go back to Marty, have the baby, and name him Ishmael. He'll grow up to be a great leader. Props to the writers for going back to the source material. They did this scene almost verbatim.

So she goes back and has the baby. Meaningful looks from Jackie as she assists in the delivery and notices it's a boy. Worried looks from Marty as he waits outside the tent. Terrified looks from Hagar as she realizes her part is almost over and it's back to auditions for Cool Runnings 2: This Time We Try Curling. Jackie brings the kid out to Marty, and in a scene more than a little reminiscent of The Lion King, he raises the baby above his head and yells out, "I call him Ishmael." Queequeg looks on approvingly from offstage. But that's not the weird part of this scene. The weird part is that The Extras are sitting on the ground outside the tent. All of them. When the baby is named, they go wild. They go wild a lot, and every time they do the shrieking and carrying on makes my upstairs neighbor bang on the floor and I have to turn down the volume.

Morning at Marty's camp. Still six inches to the left. The Flute Of Approaching Mystery warns us of approaching mystery. A man in black robes and a hood rides up, and enters Marty's tent. He looks like either Siegfried or Roy, but since I don't know which is which, I'll call him Sigroy. Sigroy tells Jackie she'll have a son. Fortunately, he doesn't Heston. Unfortunately, he Shatners, complete with the inappropriately timed dramatic pauses. Jackie gets upset at the idea of having a son, since according to the Bible (and Keith Olbermann), she's two hundred and six.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Mondo Extra

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