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In The Beginning, Part I

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In The Beginning, Part I
Isaac is "tending" the sheep while he waits for Sir Hump-A-Lot to bring him a girl. If you think that's the last sheep innuendo you're going to hear, just wait until part two. It's a veritable mutton orgy. Ewe…anyway, in what is now my all-time favorite anachronism, Isaac is using a clipboard to count the sheep. Except it's made out of clay, and he's marking on it with a stylus. If you didn't see it, it's not going to be as funny, but I almost fell out of my chair. That may have had something to do with the three bottles of Manischevitz I've downed so far. The Viola Of Love At First Sight signals the arrival of Sir Hump-A-Lot and The Watergirl. Isaac tries to look manly and fails. Maybe it's because of the clipboard. The Watergirl simpers. There's one of those "old-fashioned" party scenes with the wacky line dancing and strange musical instruments. You all saw Titanic, so you know what I'm talking about. Isaac and The Watergirl, who are now apparently married, are chatting off to the side. He references her big-city upbringing. "This must all seem so strange to you," he says. Dude, she's not the only one. Their tent. They mack, Bible-style. Isaac and Marty go for a walk. Isaac is bouncing up and down and shouting his joy. He definitely looks like he just got laid for the first time. I guess he really was just tending the sheep. Marty doesn't trust The Watergirl's high-falutin' city ways. Isaac defends her. Marty agrees that she has wisdom. Then he hacks up a hairball, and we go to commercial. The hell? We come back to a shot of The Extras, sitting around. Of course we do. Reprise of The Flute Of Approaching Mystery. Another black-clad rider. This time it's David Copperfield. I nod off and dream that he makes The Extras disappear. Actually, it's Ishmael, looking dashing in a burgundy turban and Seinfeldian puffy shirt. He and Isaac enter Marty's tent, and here's where the writers throw their Bibles (and their writing ability) to the wind and teach us all a valuable moral lesson about peace in the Middle East. Because there apparently aren't enough valuable moral lessons already to be found in the Bible. Abraham is dying. Well, at least that explains the hairball. Marty gathers his two boys near and proceeds to get all Nostradamus on us, laying out the next 5000 years of history for Isaac and Ishmael. The Jews will wander, and eventually God will give them the Land of Israel. Except it already belongs to Ishmael's people. Since they're not getting this from the Bible, I wonder if maybe they're trying to make some sort of a parallel with current events? Ishmael wants to know who Marty loves more. Marty says it doesn't matter. "Your paths will be separate. Your ways different." Because Isaac represents the Jews and Ishmael the Arabs. Do you get it?

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
In The Beginning, Part I

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In The Beginning, Part I

Isaac is "tending" the sheep while he waits for Sir Hump-A-Lot to bring him a girl. If you think that's the last sheep innuendo you're going to hear, just wait until part two. It's a veritable mutton orgy. Ewe…anyway, in what is now my all-time favorite anachronism, Isaac is using a clipboard to count the sheep. Except it's made out of clay, and he's marking on it with a stylus. If you didn't see it, it's not going to be as funny, but I almost fell out of my chair. That may have had something to do with the three bottles of Manischevitz I've downed so far.

The Viola Of Love At First Sight signals the arrival of Sir Hump-A-Lot and The Watergirl. Isaac tries to look manly and fails. Maybe it's because of the clipboard. The Watergirl simpers. There's one of those "old-fashioned" party scenes with the wacky line dancing and strange musical instruments. You all saw Titanic, so you know what I'm talking about. Isaac and The Watergirl, who are now apparently married, are chatting off to the side. He references her big-city upbringing. "This must all seem so strange to you," he says. Dude, she's not the only one.

Their tent. They mack, Bible-style.

Isaac and Marty go for a walk. Isaac is bouncing up and down and shouting his joy. He definitely looks like he just got laid for the first time. I guess he really was just tending the sheep. Marty doesn't trust The Watergirl's high-falutin' city ways. Isaac defends her. Marty agrees that she has wisdom. Then he hacks up a hairball, and we go to commercial. The hell?

We come back to a shot of The Extras, sitting around. Of course we do. Reprise of The Flute Of Approaching Mystery. Another black-clad rider. This time it's David Copperfield. I nod off and dream that he makes The Extras disappear. Actually, it's Ishmael, looking dashing in a burgundy turban and Seinfeldian puffy shirt. He and Isaac enter Marty's tent, and here's where the writers throw their Bibles (and their writing ability) to the wind and teach us all a valuable moral lesson about peace in the Middle East. Because there apparently aren't enough valuable moral lessons already to be found in the Bible.

Abraham is dying. Well, at least that explains the hairball. Marty gathers his two boys near and proceeds to get all Nostradamus on us, laying out the next 5000 years of history for Isaac and Ishmael. The Jews will wander, and eventually God will give them the Land of Israel. Except it already belongs to Ishmael's people. Since they're not getting this from the Bible, I wonder if maybe they're trying to make some sort of a parallel with current events? Ishmael wants to know who Marty loves more. Marty says it doesn't matter. "Your paths will be separate. Your ways different." Because Isaac represents the Jews and Ishmael the Arabs. Do you get it?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Mondo Extra

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