Billy Goat Gruff and Ziploc walk amongst the sheep. Billy Goat tells her there is a God. Jethro, who wasn't in the scene until just now, says he doesn't believe it. Why would God create all this and then ignore it? Is He even watching? I think it's pretty obvious. Billy goes off to do some sheep-tending of his own.
Crackling noises. Billy looks up from his nap to see a special effect so bad it belongs in a Godzilla movie. It's the burning bush. Only it's neither burning nor a bush. The flames are CGI, and the bush looks like a couple of twigs glued together by a stagehand. What's up with the shrubbery budget on this show? That thing looks like I could chop it down with a herring. God speaks to Moses. I still can't place the voice. It sounds kind of like John Houseman, but he's dead. Then again, they got Yul Brynner. God tells Moses to free his people. Billy Goat Gruff says, "If they ask [your] name, how shall I answer?" "I am who I am," replies God. He's Popeye? Billy Goat Gruff has self-esteem issues. God tells him to throw his stick onto the ground. It's not as nice as the Big-But-Not-Important Stick, but in the only quality effect in the whole damn movie, it changes into a snake. God pledges to aid him. He agrees to send Moses's brother to help. Ziploc doesn't want him to go, but Jethro hands him an Aqualung and sends him on his way. Commercials. Shrug from It's Like, You Know is on Law & Order. Now that's quality TV.
Quick personal note. As I've mentioned this is my first recap. Well, actually, this is my second recap, but you get the idea. All this begs the inevitable question: why choose this crapfest instead of, oh say, the OJ crapfest? Several reasons, actually. First off, Sars suggested it, and I bow to her superior site programming skills. Also, my parents made me go to Sunday school every week for eighteen years. Only I had to go every Sunday, Tuesday, AND Thursday. And I can assure you, we were NOT allowed to wear jeans. Plus, I've been to all the actual locations in the Bible, and had both rocks and a Scud missile lobbed at me for my troubles. But mostly, it's because the next thirty minutes or so comprise what may very well be the greatest individual shout-out in MBTV history.
Billy Goat Gruff returns to Egypt. He's met by, well, me. It's Aaron, his brother. I look good with a beard. Anyway, Billy Goat and Aaron go to the bus station, and retrieve the Big-But-Not-Important Stick from a locker. At least that's what it looks like. The thing was in a box in the middle of a crowded room. Whatever. Maybe the stick does turn out to be important. Then they go to see the Pharaoh.