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In The Beginning, Part II

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In The Beginning, Part II
Two guards drag Eddie through a prison yard. He passes all kinds of different prisoners being tortured in all kinds of different ways. He looks scared, but I'm somehow reminded of the robot torture scene in Return of the Jedi and can't stop giggling uncontrollably. Third Watch Eddie trades in the sleeveless toga and little-girl wig for prison garb, and gets tossed into a cell with about a dozen white guys with British accents. In Egypt. They all claim to be innocent. Eddie looks like he thinks he's too pretty to be here. Night in the cell. A portly chap I'll call Winston Churchill is dreaming. We know he's dreaming because he's pawing at the air in front of him the way dogs do when they dream. One of the prisoners asks, "Where's your God now, Joseph?" And as Eddie looks through the convenient skylight to the heavens, we get the answer: God is in the commercials. We're back. Winston Churchill is relating a dream to Joseph. We find out he was the Pharaoh's Chief Cup Bearer. Only he says it about three times. Cup Bearer. Cup Bearer. Cup Bearer. We. Get. It. Didn't I hear that a Chief Cup Bearer was one of A-Rod's contract demands? Different kind of cup, though. Anyway, the dream is all about squashing grapes and spurting fluids. Get. Therapy. Quick. Guards burst in and drag Eddie out. Warden Glynn wants Eddie to tend the sheep. I know, this is getting ridiculous. And I just know there's a great prison-sex/sheep joke in here somewhere, and I can't find it. Let's see...men behind baaa-rs? Nope. I look up sheep on the Internet. Hmm. They're a major export of Australia, so I'll just make (yet another) Oz reference and leave it at that. Third Watch Eddie suggests that Warden Glynn improve the prisoners' conditions, and use them as slave laborers. Glynn is having none of it, and ships him back to the cell. Adebisi looks on approvingly from offstage. Eddie gets all smug, and interprets Winston Churchill's dream to mean that he'll be freed in three days. Much snickering from the prisoners. Third Watch Eddie puts on his Third Watch Look Of Resoluteness In The Face Of Adversity and stares out through the bars. The guards come and drag him out again. Warden Glynn has changed his mind, and is demanding quick profits in return for putting Eddie in charge. He offers him back the sleeveless toga he came in with, but Eddie refuses, saying he wants to avoid vanity this time. You can tell he's serious by the pancake make-up and rippling pecs. He does put the pretty, pretty little-girl wig back on, though.

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Mondo Extra
In The Beginning, Part II

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In The Beginning, Part II

Two guards drag Eddie through a prison yard. He passes all kinds of different prisoners being tortured in all kinds of different ways. He looks scared, but I'm somehow reminded of the robot torture scene in Return of the Jedi and can't stop giggling uncontrollably. Third Watch Eddie trades in the sleeveless toga and little-girl wig for prison garb, and gets tossed into a cell with about a dozen white guys with British accents. In Egypt. They all claim to be innocent. Eddie looks like he thinks he's too pretty to be here.

Night in the cell. A portly chap I'll call Winston Churchill is dreaming. We know he's dreaming because he's pawing at the air in front of him the way dogs do when they dream. One of the prisoners asks, "Where's your God now, Joseph?" And as Eddie looks through the convenient skylight to the heavens, we get the answer:

God is in the commercials.

We're back. Winston Churchill is relating a dream to Joseph. We find out he was the Pharaoh's Chief Cup Bearer. Only he says it about three times. Cup Bearer. Cup Bearer. Cup Bearer. We. Get. It. Didn't I hear that a Chief Cup Bearer was one of A-Rod's contract demands? Different kind of cup, though. Anyway, the dream is all about squashing grapes and spurting fluids. Get. Therapy. Quick.

Guards burst in and drag Eddie out. Warden Glynn wants Eddie to tend the sheep. I know, this is getting ridiculous. And I just know there's a great prison-sex/sheep joke in here somewhere, and I can't find it. Let's see...men behind baaa-rs? Nope. I look up sheep on the Internet. Hmm. They're a major export of Australia, so I'll just make (yet another) Oz reference and leave it at that. Third Watch Eddie suggests that Warden Glynn improve the prisoners' conditions, and use them as slave laborers. Glynn is having none of it, and ships him back to the cell. Adebisi looks on approvingly from offstage.

Eddie gets all smug, and interprets Winston Churchill's dream to mean that he'll be freed in three days. Much snickering from the prisoners. Third Watch Eddie puts on his Third Watch Look Of Resoluteness In The Face Of Adversity and stares out through the bars. The guards come and drag him out again. Warden Glynn has changed his mind, and is demanding quick profits in return for putting Eddie in charge. He offers him back the sleeveless toga he came in with, but Eddie refuses, saying he wants to avoid vanity this time. You can tell he's serious by the pancake make-up and rippling pecs. He does put the pretty, pretty little-girl wig back on, though.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Mondo Extra

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