2. Supermarket Sweep.
Proof that the studio format had run dry and the South China Sea couldn’t be far off. Drab housewives and soccer moms guessed the price of frozen pizza or Bumble Bee Tuna in hopes of amassing the most time to run through the store liked coked-up personal shoppers. Three teams dashed down aisles, tossing 500-pound turkeys and economy-size bales of diapers into their shopping carts. Why didn’t they just sweep all the crap they could off the shelves like Charlene and Suzanne in that Designing Women
where they win sixty seconds in a music store? This show had more product placements than Shop’ til You Drop
. For the home version, try wreaking this kind of havoc at your local Safeway or A&P. Your bonus round: a night on beautiful Riker’s Island. (Question 10: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?)
And the stupidest game show ever:
1. Double Dare.
ARGH!!! We have simply gone too far when we start humiliating children outside the realm of standardized testing. Nevertheless, if you want to know what bleak future awaits America, find an episode of this show. They must have pulled those kids straight off the short bus. “What’s the capital of the U.S.?” “Dare.” “Double dare.” “Physical challenge.” Ugh. And those challenges. Slide into a pool of goo. Stick your hands up the model of a nose and find a flag amid the fake snot. Children, don’t do it. Just cry until you get a Gameboy like the normal kids do. ["Or at least try to get some gunk on the OCD-suffering host." --Sars
Well, Jaye P. Morgan is about to gong me off -- so I’ll blow a big kiss. I am the weakest link. G’bye.
1. Janice, Dian, and Holly.
2. Gift certificate or on account.
4. ½; 1/13, 0.
5. Drugs. Nobody’s that stupid, even Stupid Sally.
7. "Muskrat Love."
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