MONDO EXTRAS

Inconceivable: "Pilot"

by AB Chao November 24, 2005
Inconceivable: “Pilot” let's just go with it. Anyway, she's already made the mistake of thinking the child will be hers soon, baby-talking that she's trying to think of the bestest name ever for him. She is about to be sorely disappointed, because Alfre walks in with the baby's father. Marissa thinks he's just there for a visit, but he says he's taking the baby home. Alfre gives Marissa a little nod, so Marissa hands the baby over, and manages to say congratulations. The guy is so excited, it's hard to feel bad for Marissa, and lest we forget and start feeling bad anyway: pet rock.

Nurse Hottie finds Bowers in his office after-hours, and asks him if he's emailing his friend at the paper. Bowers says no, he's trying to get in touch with a colleague of his at Johns Hopkins who may be able to help the Reverend and Mrs. Gilley get pregnant. Nurse Hottie then starts undressing. Bowers is like, "What are you doing?" Nurse Hottie says she just wants a proper goodbye, and starts macking down on him. Bowers, of course, goes along, and doesn't see the specimen cup that that conniving little Nurse Hottie pulls out of her bag. I told you she was crazy!

Bowers knocks on an apartment door. The door opens, and...praise the Lord and pass the cornbread, it's Angie Harmon! She is looking incredible, as always, and her first line is, "Son of a bitch." Excellent. She asks Bowers if doormen are just supposed to sit there and let anyone get by. Bowers says he had no other choice; she wouldn't respond to his emails. Angie: "Sure I did. I hit 'delete.'" Bowers asks if he can come in, and Angie says she was actually just heading out. They argue a little bit over who broke up with whom, and Angie tells him he has until she can find her other shoe to talk, because she's late for a date. Bowers asks if it's anyone special. There are about fifty vases of roses sitting around her apartment, and Angie gestures to them casually and says, "Yeah, sure, until the flowers die." Heh. Bowers asks if her lawsuit is over yet, so I guess there's backstory on them we'll be getting later. I don't even care: Angie Harmon! Being a smartass, and keeping me from killing myself! She finds her shoe, and tells Bowers his time is up. He says he needs her help with some patients of his, who could be ideal candidates for cytoplasmic transfer. Angie says that's a risky procedure. Bowers reminds her that it is she who has performed it successfully, and these people need her help. Angie rolls her eyes and takes the file. "I was the one who dumped YOU," she says, before breezing out of the apartment. No! Don't go, Angie!

Alas, she is gone, and we're back at the hospital with Amanda and company. Ming-Na brings the new baby in, and says she thinks someone wants to meet her dad...s. They're all excited that the baby's okay, and everyone's happy and cooing all over her. Ming-Na pulls out her camera to take a picture, but Lawyer insists that she be in the shot, too, as she brought them all together. A nurse takes the picture, and Stalker remarks, "You know what this means, right? It's time to tell your parents about me." Jesus gay. Literally.

And now it's time for a musical montage. Some generic rock song starts up as we get a shot of Bowers swimming laps in his big gorgeous pool, and stopping in between to take swigs of champagne straight from the bottle. Oh, Dr. Bowers, you're so hardcore! Cut to Ming-Na, showing her son a picture of his father. He's like, "This is it? This is all I've got?" Ming-Na tells him that, at the time, it was all she needed. Her son looks at the picture and says his father's got big ears, which is hilarious, then asks if he can keep the picture. Ming-Na sadly consents to this, and he sets it up on his bedside table. Cut to Nurse Hottie, at the clinic late at night. She takes Bowers's sperm sample out of her purse and switches it with the Reverend's. I have no words for how absolutely fucking ridiculous this is, so let's move on before my head explodes. As Nurse Hottie leaves, we see a silhouette of someone standing in the next room, who has obviously been watching her every move. Let us all hope it's a network executive who's come to CANCEL THIS SHOW. Fade out.

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Inconceivable: "Pilot"

by AB Chao November 24, 2005
Inconceivable: “Pilot” let's just go with it. Anyway, she's already made the mistake of thinking the child will be hers soon, baby-talking that she's trying to think of the bestest name ever for him. She is about to be sorely disappointed, because Alfre walks in with the baby's father. Marissa thinks he's just there for a visit, but he says he's taking the baby home. Alfre gives Marissa a little nod, so Marissa hands the baby over, and manages to say congratulations. The guy is so excited, it's hard to feel bad for Marissa, and lest we forget and start feeling bad anyway: pet rock.

Nurse Hottie finds Bowers in his office after-hours, and asks him if he's emailing his friend at the paper. Bowers says no, he's trying to get in touch with a colleague of his at Johns Hopkins who may be able to help the Reverend and Mrs. Gilley get pregnant. Nurse Hottie then starts undressing. Bowers is like, "What are you doing?" Nurse Hottie says she just wants a proper goodbye, and starts macking down on him. Bowers, of course, goes along, and doesn't see the specimen cup that that conniving little Nurse Hottie pulls out of her bag. I told you she was crazy!

Bowers knocks on an apartment door. The door opens, and...praise the Lord and pass the cornbread, it's Angie Harmon! She is looking incredible, as always, and her first line is, "Son of a bitch." Excellent. She asks Bowers if doormen are just supposed to sit there and let anyone get by. Bowers says he had no other choice; she wouldn't respond to his emails. Angie: "Sure I did. I hit 'delete.'" Bowers asks if he can come in, and Angie says she was actually just heading out. They argue a little bit over who broke up with whom, and Angie tells him he has until she can find her other shoe to talk, because she's late for a date. Bowers asks if it's anyone special. There are about fifty vases of roses sitting around her apartment, and Angie gestures to them casually and says, "Yeah, sure, until the flowers die." Heh. Bowers asks if her lawsuit is over yet, so I guess there's backstory on them we'll be getting later. I don't even care: Angie Harmon! Being a smartass, and keeping me from killing myself! She finds her shoe, and tells Bowers his time is up. He says he needs her help with some patients of his, who could be ideal candidates for cytoplasmic transfer. Angie says that's a risky procedure. Bowers reminds her that it is she who has performed it successfully, and these people need her help. Angie rolls her eyes and takes the file. "I was the one who dumped YOU," she says, before breezing out of the apartment. No! Don't go, Angie!

Alas, she is gone, and we're back at the hospital with Amanda and company. Ming-Na brings the new baby in, and says she thinks someone wants to meet her dad...s. They're all excited that the baby's okay, and everyone's happy and cooing all over her. Ming-Na pulls out her camera to take a picture, but Lawyer insists that she be in the shot, too, as she brought them all together. A nurse takes the picture, and Stalker remarks, "You know what this means, right? It's time to tell your parents about me." Jesus gay. Literally.

And now it's time for a musical montage. Some generic rock song starts up as we get a shot of Bowers swimming laps in his big gorgeous pool, and stopping in between to take swigs of champagne straight from the bottle. Oh, Dr. Bowers, you're so hardcore! Cut to Ming-Na, showing her son a picture of his father. He's like, "This is it? This is all I've got?" Ming-Na tells him that, at the time, it was all she needed. Her son looks at the picture and says his father's got big ears, which is hilarious, then asks if he can keep the picture. Ming-Na sadly consents to this, and he sets it up on his bedside table. Cut to Nurse Hottie, at the clinic late at night. She takes Bowers's sperm sample out of her purse and switches it with the Reverend's. I have no words for how absolutely fucking ridiculous this is, so let's move on before my head explodes. As Nurse Hottie leaves, we see a silhouette of someone standing in the next room, who has obviously been watching her every move. Let us all hope it's a network executive who's come to CANCEL THIS SHOW. Fade out.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5

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