MONDO EXTRAS

Mormon-mania

by Kim February 13, 2001
Inside the Osmonds

Pa gathers the family and tells them that he blames himself for the loss of the money, and asks for their forgiveness. He wants the family to stop fighting and start supporting each other. Ma points out their talent (again), and how it hasn't been lost. Pa says that every decision he made was intended to keep the family together. He gives an emotional speech, and even wipes a tear from his eye. Donny steps up and apologizes to Alan. Everyone hugs. Jimmy (who now looks like a young Leif Garrett) says that they should put a tour together.

Cut to the Osmonds, the day before their concert, realizing that their concert hasn't been promoted at all. The Osmonds go to work, placing ads and doing promotion. I don't really know where they're getting the money to put on this tour. Who would lend them money? Merrill comes in and yells at Alan that they don't have soundmen, and getting someone at the last minute will ruin their credibility. Alan tells him to just get on the phone and find someone. Merrill turns away but collapses as he goes out the door and the screen goes white.

Someone asks if Merrill is dead -- it's Merrill! He's in a hospital bed. The brothers tell him to take it easy. Merrill's worried about the tour, and won't let them cancel because of him. Alan agrees not to cancel the tour. Merrill tells them to go find a sound guy. As the others leave, Merrill calls Donny back into the room and tells him to sing, "Down by the Lazy River" tonight. That gesture would mean a lot more if Merrill wasn't hospitalized, and thus physically unable to sing it himself. Before the concert, the brothers gather and pray, and then take the stage. They all walk out on stage to a packed house, and start singing, "He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother)," and dedicate it to "Brother Merrill." After the first verse, they part, and a curtain goes up to reveal the present-day real life Osmonds singing the same song. They're all there -- Jay, Merrill, Marie, Donny, Jimmy, Alan, and Wayne. Merrill looks like Bob Seger. As the song ends, the crowd applauds. Olive, George, and the two Deaf Brothers take the stage too. As the song plays out, some on-screen text informs us that the Osmonds sold their studio and paid off their debts, and that the "family legacy continues with fifty-three grandchildren and twelve great-grandchildren." The Deaf Brothers sign, "I love you," to the audience. The text on the screen says, "After forty-three years, the Osmonds are still performing, making them one of the longest-running groups in history." The crowd gives them a standing ovation. There's more text about how successful they are, but I'm so done with the Osmonds that I can't be bothered.

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Comments

Mormon-mania

by Kim February 13, 2001
Inside the Osmonds Pa gathers the family and tells them that he blames himself for the loss of the money, and asks for their forgiveness. He wants the family to stop fighting and start supporting each other. Ma points out their talent (again), and how it hasn't been lost. Pa says that every decision he made was intended to keep the family together. He gives an emotional speech, and even wipes a tear from his eye. Donny steps up and apologizes to Alan. Everyone hugs. Jimmy (who now looks like a young Leif Garrett) says that they should put a tour together. Cut to the Osmonds, the day before their concert, realizing that their concert hasn't been promoted at all. The Osmonds go to work, placing ads and doing promotion. I don't really know where they're getting the money to put on this tour. Who would lend them money? Merrill comes in and yells at Alan that they don't have soundmen, and getting someone at the last minute will ruin their credibility. Alan tells him to just get on the phone and find someone. Merrill turns away but collapses as he goes out the door and the screen goes white. Someone asks if Merrill is dead -- it's Merrill! He's in a hospital bed. The brothers tell him to take it easy. Merrill's worried about the tour, and won't let them cancel because of him. Alan agrees not to cancel the tour. Merrill tells them to go find a sound guy. As the others leave, Merrill calls Donny back into the room and tells him to sing, "Down by the Lazy River" tonight. That gesture would mean a lot more if Merrill wasn't hospitalized, and thus physically unable to sing it himself. Before the concert, the brothers gather and pray, and then take the stage. They all walk out on stage to a packed house, and start singing, "He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother)," and dedicate it to "Brother Merrill." After the first verse, they part, and a curtain goes up to reveal the present-day real life Osmonds singing the same song. They're all there -- Jay, Merrill, Marie, Donny, Jimmy, Alan, and Wayne. Merrill looks like Bob Seger. As the song ends, the crowd applauds. Olive, George, and the two Deaf Brothers take the stage too. As the song plays out, some on-screen text informs us that the Osmonds sold their studio and paid off their debts, and that the "family legacy continues with fifty-three grandchildren and twelve great-grandchildren." The Deaf Brothers sign, "I love you," to the audience. The text on the screen says, "After forty-three years, the Osmonds are still performing, making them one of the longest-running groups in history." The crowd gives them a standing ovation. There's more text about how successful they are, but I'm so done with the Osmonds that I can't be bothered.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

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