MONDO EXTRAS

The corridor of a school. Oh, wait, it's 1982. Wouldn't it be great if this were the Freaks and Geeks high school? Let's all just close our eyes and think about that for a moment. Okay, I'm back. In this high school, we see a group of kids standing around a locker talking about how someone saw a guidance counselor shoplifting a stapler. So I'm going to guess that this is California, and due to Proposition 13, the schools are underfunded and the teachers have to provide their own supplies. Jack opens his locker, and then turns around and sees a gorgeous pouty blonde girl walk past him, as the love theme from Help, I'm Slipping into a Diabetic Coma suddenly bursts forth on the soundtrack. Jack can't stop staring at her. I forgot to mention that she's walking in slow motion, and that she's being trailed by a bevy of beauties. Clearly the alpha girl of the school.

Jack runs into the gym for basketball practice, with a bunch of other boys. There's a kid with an enormous floppy afro in the background -- I think it's Andre 3000. Seriously, nobody had that hair in 1982. They run drills and pass the ball around while the coach hassles them and tells them they look like "a bunch of pansies." Ah, so homophobia exists in this universe, along with milkmen. Got it.

Jack and another boy walk down the street, dribbling a basketball. Oh, by the way, there are still credits rolling. Director Lee Rose, did you really have to wait until fifteen minutes into the movie to splash your name up there? Jack is telling his friend Max (who has exceedingly red hair) that Jack's dad showed up again yesterday. "Oh yeah? What did he do this time?" Jack: "He put up a basketball hoop." Max thinks that's great, until Jack tells him that "last night, [he] kind of lost his mind and attacked it." Wait, if Ron just put up the hoop yesterday, then where was Stockard practicing with Jack? Were they going to the playground, or the gym? Now I really wish we had seen that.