MONDO EXTRAS

Driving down the road with Mr. Bailey, Jack looks terrified. Mr. Bailey reminds him to watch his blind spots. "You can't ever forget, there's always something you cannot see." Jack: "Yeah, that I know already." And...scene. I never thought I'd say this about anything, but I think Brent Spiner was the best thing about this movie. (And yeah, that's the last time we see him).

Jack sits on the steps of the house, not nearly so dressed up as he usually is for dinner with Dad. Ah, that's because (as Jack's V.O. tells us) Stockard is now letting Ron take Jack on Saturdays as well as Wednesdays. A horn honks and Jack walks offscreen.

Ron and Jack are in a rowboat in the middle of quite an impressive mountain lake. Where the hell do they live? Jack notices that Ron has a look on his face. He calls it the look "where [Ron's] about to say something that's going to make [Jack] lose his lunch. The one where [Ron] says something like 'Grandma's sick' which means she's already dead or something like that." Ron: "Grandma's fine." Man. How could someone so clueless be so boring? He's not even funny to laugh at. But it's true, Ron does want to talk to Jack. Ron starts to make a generic speech about running away from himself and finding his true path to happiness: "Do you remember Bob, my friend Bob?" Jack is looking intently at the floor of the boat. Jack: "Yeah, the one we went on the trip with?" Ron: "Bob and I are lovers." Jack stares at an oar, and then murmurs, "I want to go home." And then he dives into the water and starts swimming for shore. And I laugh and laugh and laugh.

Jack is walking down the road, dripping wet, when Ron pulls up in his car. Okay, not only is Ron a pompous windbag, but he's the slowest damn rower in history. There is no way a normal man could get that boat to shore more slowly than a kid could swim it while fully dressed. (In fact, I'm shocked that Jack's wet clothes didn't pull his scrawny body to the bottom of the lake. Maybe all the cheese kept him buoyant.) Ron tells Jack to get in the car, but Jack refuses. Ron: "Don't do this." Jack: "Do what? You're the one that's doing it." Please, let's not put the words "doing it" anywhere near Ron Silver anytime, ever. My brain can't take the strain. Ron: "Jack, I'm still your father." Jack: "No you're not." And he keeps walking down the road.