The four adults -- Ron, the Bob, Maggie's dad, and Maggie's dad's boyfriend -- are sitting at one table in the bowling-alley diner, talking about an upcoming outing to the opera. (Oh, Mary, this queen is tired.) The three kids sit at another table and eat more food. Max is cutting his finger with a knife, which appropriately freaks Maggie out. We cut back and forth between the two tables. Maggie's dad is planning on taking his boyfriend to Provincetown, because he's never been. Ron: "What, never?" And then he and the Bob laugh. Oh please, missy -- you've been out of the closet less than a year. You need to lose your own training wheels before you start making fun of the other 'mos. Jack stares at his father, and lets us know, via V.O., that he met the Bob months ago on a trip to St. Michael's Island.
The party is breaking up -- Ron and the Bob head out to pay for everything, and tell Jack and Max to meet them at the car. Maggie's dad and his boyfriend lean in for a nice slow kiss, which is shown in super slow-motion, alternating shots of Maggie, Jack, and Max looking highly uncomfortable. As the kiss breaks up, Max says, "Oh my God," while Maggie chimes in with her own "gross!" Max keeps blathering on, wondering if that was artificial respiration or if there was some other reason that one man put his mouth on the other man's mouth. Maggie just tells him to shut up, and then wonders aloud why they have to make out in public. Maggie, to Max: "Do your parents ever make out in public?" Max, deadpan: "No, no, my parents avoid touching at all times." Jack V.O.: "This was the beginning of the end." If only he meant the end of the movie.
Jack's school. Jack and Max are standing near Jack's locker, looking stunned. Someone has written "Fag Baby" on Jack's locker. Max: "You can use my locker until it wears off." Oh, Max, you simpleton. I think you may be my favorite character of all. Jack: "It's goddamn black magic marker. It's permanent. It doesn't wear off. Did you do this?" Max didn't do it, but he may have told some people about the two guys kissing. Max: "I'm over it now. I mean I get it, it's a disease, it's a sickness. Same as guys who chop people up, put the pieces under the house." Jack: "You're completely mentally ill." Max spits on his jacket and starts rubbing the words on the locker. Jack yells out, "No, don't polish it." So then Max takes a red magic marker out of his pocket and writes "Not A" above the words "Fag Baby." That did it -- he just cemented his place in my heart. Jack: "At this rate, there'll be a whole novel there by the end of the year."