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Jack

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Jack
Cafeteria. Jack bumps into Maggie Rogers, who is not happy. (Which I could tell, because there was no love theme.) She accuses him of ruining her life. He feels quite the same, having agreed to go bowling with her "queer bait father" and ending up with "Fag Baby" written on his locker. He doesn't get why she's so pissed, and she tells him to ask the rodent (by which she means Max). Jack sits down next to Max and asks him what's going on. It turns out that the kid in the bowling league circulated a letter to everyone in the school. The letter is funny enough to be quoted in full: "Twenty-five dollars to the one who first identifies which beautiful babe and star of the basketball court I spotted last night at a homosexual soirée at the local tenpin lanes. Post your answers on the bulletin board in hall. Name names and receive money." First of all, couldn't the beautiful babe also be the star of the basketball court? Second, are we really supposed to believe that scrawny little Jack is a basketball star? Third, "homosexual soirée"? ["Using a French word makes it even gayer, you see." -- Wing Chun] Max tries to reassure Jack that it will all blow over, and then tells him that they should have written "Fag Baby" on Maggie's locker, since she's the one with the father who's a fag. Jack tells him that would be reassuring, "except for one little thing. Turns out [Jack's] father is a fag too." Max nearly has a fit before Jack gets him to shut up. Jack finds another copy of the letter on the table. Max asks him how he knows his dad is "a fagola." Jack tells him not to call him that (I guess "fagola" crosses a line that "fag," "queer," "homo," and "fairy" did not), and then threatens Max with torture if he tells anyone. Max walks into the school nurse's office and tells her, "I have to go home." The nurse calls Stockard, who agrees to come get Jack after he speaks to her. Props to Jack for proper use of the word "nauseated." After he leaves the office, the nurse leans over her desk and mutters, "I hate children." Jack and Max walk down the school hallway. Max begs Jack not to go home: "Don't leave me alone in this place." Jack, spying something across the hallway, responds, "Yeah, you're right. I don't need to go home. I need to move." Jack, you see, has noticed the bulletin board, covered with copies of the letter, all naming him and Maggie as the aforementioned "beautiful babe and star of the basketball court." He and Max rip handfuls of the letters off the bulletin board. And what kind of school is this, that allows crap like that to clutter up the bulletin boards? Where are the hall monitors, I ask?

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
Jack

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Jack

Cafeteria. Jack bumps into Maggie Rogers, who is not happy. (Which I could tell, because there was no love theme.) She accuses him of ruining her life. He feels quite the same, having agreed to go bowling with her "queer bait father" and ending up with "Fag Baby" written on his locker. He doesn't get why she's so pissed, and she tells him to ask the rodent (by which she means Max). Jack sits down next to Max and asks him what's going on. It turns out that the kid in the bowling league circulated a letter to everyone in the school. The letter is funny enough to be quoted in full: "Twenty-five dollars to the one who first identifies which beautiful babe and star of the basketball court I spotted last night at a homosexual soirée at the local tenpin lanes. Post your answers on the bulletin board in hall. Name names and receive money." First of all, couldn't the beautiful babe also be the star of the basketball court? Second, are we really supposed to believe that scrawny little Jack is a basketball star? Third, "homosexual soirée"? ["Using a French word makes it even gayer, you see." -- Wing Chun] Max tries to reassure Jack that it will all blow over, and then tells him that they should have written "Fag Baby" on Maggie's locker, since she's the one with the father who's a fag. Jack tells him that would be reassuring, "except for one little thing. Turns out [Jack's] father is a fag too." Max nearly has a fit before Jack gets him to shut up. Jack finds another copy of the letter on the table. Max asks him how he knows his dad is "a fagola." Jack tells him not to call him that (I guess "fagola" crosses a line that "fag," "queer," "homo," and "fairy" did not), and then threatens Max with torture if he tells anyone.

Max walks into the school nurse's office and tells her, "I have to go home." The nurse calls Stockard, who agrees to come get Jack after he speaks to her. Props to Jack for proper use of the word "nauseated." After he leaves the office, the nurse leans over her desk and mutters, "I hate children."

Jack and Max walk down the school hallway. Max begs Jack not to go home: "Don't leave me alone in this place." Jack, spying something across the hallway, responds, "Yeah, you're right. I don't need to go home. I need to move." Jack, you see, has noticed the bulletin board, covered with copies of the letter, all naming him and Maggie as the aforementioned "beautiful babe and star of the basketball court." He and Max rip handfuls of the letters off the bulletin board. And what kind of school is this, that allows crap like that to clutter up the bulletin boards? Where are the hall monitors, I ask?

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Mondo Extra

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