Mondo Extra
Jack

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Jack
Front steps of the school. Jack and Max shove the wads of letters into their jacket pockets. Max asks Jack why it matters so much if Ron is gay. Jack: "He sleeps with Bob. They're lovers." I can see why that's disturbing -- Bob is the apogee of boring, and Ron is...well, Ron. Max: "So? I sleep with my dog." ["That's the movie I want to see next -- a tender love story involving a boy and his bitch." -- Wing Chun] Max wants to know if he can ask Jack a question. Jack: "No." Max: "What do you think they do?" Jack: "I don't know and I don't want to know." Amen to that, brother. Max wonders whether Ron is just going through a phase: "He hasn't tried to make you queer, has he?" But Jack has clearly been doing some thinking over the last week or so, because he tells Max that it's not a phase and that you can't make someone queer: "They either are or they aren't." You mean all my efforts to turn that cute guy who works around the corner have been in vain? A teacher comes out and asks them what they're doing. She accepts Jack's statement that he's waiting for his mom, and then focuses her hawklike eyes on Max. "I'm waiting for his mom, too. He's sick, and I didn't want to leave him alone. In case he loses consciousness." God bless you, Max Berka. The teacher gives the boys five more minutes and walks off. Fortunately, Stockard arrives just then to take Jack away from it all. Stockard and Jack are driving down the street in the station wagon. Stockard's trying to get him to tell her what's going on, but he'd prefer to sulk. Finally, she tells him that Ron called, and that next Wednesday he wants Jack to come see the apartment. Jack loses it and starts yelling about all the ways he does not want to spend time with Ron, "or spend quality time with his boyfriend." He also tells Stockard about the Fag Baby graffito. She reaches over to comfort him, telling him that "kids are idiots." (She also flashes her mom badge and tells him he needs a haircut, which he definitely does.) After Jack has firmly established that he doesn't want to go to Ron's apartment, Stockard drops the bomb: "Maggie's going to be there." Man, Jack's parents are a couple of pimps. Stockard and Jack are in the smallest grocery store ever. I think there are two aisles. Stockard tells Jack, "I know the situation isn't easy, but sometimes you have to wrestle with things to make them fit." That joke is just begging to be told, but since we're talking about Ron, I think my sanity requires that I leave it be. Stockard tells Jack not to be ashamed of Ron; he did what he needed to do in order to be happy. Jack: "So are you happy?" Stockard: "I might not be happy even if I were happy." She tells Jack he should be proud of Ron for having taken a risk. Jack has a fairly well-tuned bullshit detector for such a young lad: "Come on, you don't even believe what you just said." Stockard: "I know. What do you say we get some Ring Dings?"

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
Jack

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Jack

Front steps of the school. Jack and Max shove the wads of letters into their jacket pockets. Max asks Jack why it matters so much if Ron is gay. Jack: "He sleeps with Bob. They're lovers." I can see why that's disturbing -- Bob is the apogee of boring, and Ron is...well, Ron. Max: "So? I sleep with my dog." ["That's the movie I want to see next -- a tender love story involving a boy and his bitch." -- Wing Chun] Max wants to know if he can ask Jack a question. Jack: "No." Max: "What do you think they do?" Jack: "I don't know and I don't want to know." Amen to that, brother. Max wonders whether Ron is just going through a phase: "He hasn't tried to make you queer, has he?" But Jack has clearly been doing some thinking over the last week or so, because he tells Max that it's not a phase and that you can't make someone queer: "They either are or they aren't." You mean all my efforts to turn that cute guy who works around the corner have been in vain? A teacher comes out and asks them what they're doing. She accepts Jack's statement that he's waiting for his mom, and then focuses her hawklike eyes on Max. "I'm waiting for his mom, too. He's sick, and I didn't want to leave him alone. In case he loses consciousness." God bless you, Max Berka. The teacher gives the boys five more minutes and walks off. Fortunately, Stockard arrives just then to take Jack away from it all.

Stockard and Jack are driving down the street in the station wagon. Stockard's trying to get him to tell her what's going on, but he'd prefer to sulk. Finally, she tells him that Ron called, and that next Wednesday he wants Jack to come see the apartment. Jack loses it and starts yelling about all the ways he does not want to spend time with Ron, "or spend quality time with his boyfriend." He also tells Stockard about the Fag Baby graffito. She reaches over to comfort him, telling him that "kids are idiots." (She also flashes her mom badge and tells him he needs a haircut, which he definitely does.) After Jack has firmly established that he doesn't want to go to Ron's apartment, Stockard drops the bomb: "Maggie's going to be there." Man, Jack's parents are a couple of pimps.

Stockard and Jack are in the smallest grocery store ever. I think there are two aisles. Stockard tells Jack, "I know the situation isn't easy, but sometimes you have to wrestle with things to make them fit." That joke is just begging to be told, but since we're talking about Ron, I think my sanity requires that I leave it be. Stockard tells Jack not to be ashamed of Ron; he did what he needed to do in order to be happy. Jack: "So are you happy?" Stockard: "I might not be happy even if I were happy." She tells Jack he should be proud of Ron for having taken a risk. Jack has a fairly well-tuned bullshit detector for such a young lad: "Come on, you don't even believe what you just said." Stockard: "I know. What do you say we get some Ring Dings?"

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Mondo Extra

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