Jack and Ron are cleaning up after the brunch. Ron is telling Jack that he spoke with Mrs. Berka and that Mr. Berka is getting help and that the two of them are going to therapy. Why is he not going to jail? Jack asks Ron if he and Bob were dating when they all went on the trip to St. Michael's. Ron tells him they were just friends then. (I hope somebody gets around to telling this to Stockard.)
Ron tries to teach Jack how to parallel park. Jack nearly runs him down, and Ron decides they should call it a day. Ron tells Jack that when it's time, he wants to take Jack for his driving test. After some hesitation, Jack assents. Ron: "Are you going to hate me forever?" Jack: "I don't know." Me: "Yes." Apparently, Jack is about to turn sixteen. Ron suggests doing something special, and asks Jack if he remembers the time they went to the circus. Jack: "Yes. I was six, we took ten of my friends and had front-row seats. Then the lion bit the head off the monkey and we all had nightmares for about a week." Jack thinks he'd rather have a small party at home.
Jack wakes up on his birthday morning. He V.O.s about what a big deal birthdays are when you're a kid and how even though it's not such a big deal now, it's still something that he's sixteen and not fifteen. "You wake up and look at yourself and there you are. Your hopes, dreams, and fantasies staring right at you. At a certain point you stop waiting for your life to begin. You realize that this is your life, right here, right now. Make of it what you will, what you can." "Happy B-day" is written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror.
School hallway. Someone has written "Happy Birthday" on Jack's locker, right above "Not a Fag Baby." Max walks up to Jack and says hello. Jack: "So, what, when I graduate is somebody going to write 'Fag Baby grows up' in big letters on the school roof?" Max: "Maybe." Max gives Jack his present. It's a box of condoms. Jack: "Thanks for thinking of me in such a weird and impersonal way. I'll treasure them."
Jack is in a classroom. A teacher is droning on about papers that are due. Jack does the sensible thing and zones out, going off into a V.O. haze. After a minute or so of useless babbling (both Jack's and the teacher's), the teacher asks if Jack is with them. Jack: "Not really." Well, I admire his honesty.
Jack comes home to find Stockard frosting the cake. Cut to the backyard, where Jack and Ron are giving the Bob a tour. Ron calls out to Stockard to ask her if she is feeding the holly. Stockard: "Am I feeding the hungry?" Once she realizes what he's asking, she tells him to go crazy with gardening if he wants to. MILF alert! We're in the front yard, where the camera focuses on Mrs. Berka's shapely calves as she, Max, and Max's brother walk up to the front door.