MONDO EXTRAS

To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II

Some shots of the women in their glory days, with some "what happened to them" text. Jackie Kennedy Onassis died May 19, 1994 of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Ethel Skakel Kennedy never remarried -- Skakel? Okay, I know making fun of names is junior high in the extreme, but Skakel sounds like something you cough up after smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes. Anyways, Ethel never remarried. Joan and Ted divorced in 1983. She never remarried either. After watching this, I feel like I never want to marry at all. God knows I definitely never want to get into politics. Or use hairspray, either.

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To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II Press conference. A reporter brings up the "why are you guys living apart and what role will Joan play in the campaign?" question. Everyone winces. Joan passes with flying colors. Photo session -- an extremely awkward one in which Ted and Joan can barely touch each other. Ted looks as if he would be happier fondling some Limburger cheese. Joan looks indifferent and a little triumphant. Someone calls break. Joan hisses, "I'm trying. That's more than you can say. And if we make it into the White House, God help us both. Some President and First Lady we're going to make -- we can barely touch hands." Hee! I also like Vitriolic Joan. Talk show. Ted. The host asks him what the state of his marriage is. Ted answers in total politico-speak, as if his marriage were some kind of Congressional bill. It's painful to hear. Ethel's so long in the teeth they practically hit her chin. She says, "What is he doing? Doesn't he want to be President?" Jackie looks on the scene like a Cheshire cat. Joan is steely-eyed: "It isn't going to happen." Man. Digging this Pragmatic Joan, too. You know, of all the Kennedy wives, Joan is the only one who responded to her shitty husband in any realistic, normal way. I mean, Ethel became a deranged cheerleader for her husband's career, Jackie essentially became a really classy hooker with one client (I'm really bummed they left the part out of the movie where the book discusses the alleged arrangement that Jackie and Aristotle had -- supposedly, for a huge sum of money, he got to have sex with her once a month, no more, no less). Joan responded the way almost any normal person would to an ambitious, absentee, promiscuous husband: get drunk and move the hell out. Ethel says, "It could've been so wonderful." Jackie asks when Ted's going to concede. Joan says, "At the convention." Ethel says quietly, "It's the end of it." She perks up, then honks, "Until the boys grow up." Democratic National Convention. Ted's graceful concession speech. You know, whatever you say about the real Ted Kennedy, he's a pretty good orator. I don't know who writes his speeches in real life, but they do a damned good job. "The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." I mean, nice work. Joan and the kids stand behind him, stalwart as always. Slo-mo on Joan as she smiles gracefully. Convention hall aftermath. It's a mess -- streamers, balloons, and posters everywhere. Ted and Joan walk around listlessly. Joan tells Ted she's sorry. Ted says, "It would've been something." Ted asks Joan if she's going back to Hyannis Port. Joan says that the kids are on their way. Ted says he'll give her a lift. They leave together.

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