MONDO EXTRAS

To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II

Joan and Jackie are at lunch. Joan is telling Jackie that they all care about her and are worried, and that she should take some time away to heal. Jackie is wearing an enormous black shawl wrapped around her head, a black dress, and her soon-to-be-trademark enormous black glasses. She looks like the Queen of Planet Bee-ania. Actually, amongst the blindingly white tablecloths, she looks like a gigantic black Q-tip. Way to be inconspicuous. Jackie sobs out that she keeps thinking how things could've been different if she'd just looked to the right, or had moved back. She continues to drink from her glass of Self-Recrimination Punch. Joan bows her head. Jackie apologizes for making Joan listen to her story and asks how Ted is. Joan says that he's up for reelection -- and that she's with child. They've decided to name the embryonic crumb-snatcher Patrick, in honor of her and Jack. Jackie looks like she swallowed a bug. She says she's pleased, though. You know, I don't know much about Jackie O other than what was in the general media, so in all fairness I think it's the Jackie O in the movie and maybe Jill Hennessy that I loathe, because I hate her more and more with every line she speaks. Jackie says fakely, "That would make me very proud." Joan picks up her wine, then puts it down and says that she's going to stop "for the baby's sake," and that Jackie should, too. Jackie asks "Why? There won't be any more babies for me."

A car stops in the middle of a Georgetown street. It's Bobby and Ethel. Bobby tells Ethel he has to see Jackie, apologizing like a madman (tm Holden Caulfield). Ethel is none too happy. Cut to Jackie opening the door. It's Bobby, with a sea of hungry reporters and photographers behind him.

Jackie murmurs, "I suppose it's only fair. I'm all they have left of him." She bemoans her identity as JFK's wife some more as she hands Bobby a drink. Bobby says, "It's tearing me apart, Jackie -- I had to be near you." The line and the reading the actor gives it pretty much imply that what he's really saying is, "But ah lurve you!" but not quite. Jackie smiles understandingly as she strokes his face and says, "Near him." Bobby smiles, chagrined, and grabs her hand. Jackie changes the subject and asks him to put the angel on top of the tree. Bobby does so, a little awkwardly, and both he and Jackie giggle at how silly he looks.

Jackie and her hair continue decorating the house. The phone rings. It's LBJ. He oozes some Southern charm all over the phone, and asks if they could do anything for her. Jackie rushes him off the phone. She is obviously uncomfortable. Cut to LBJ. He's surrounded by reporters. He tells them, "What'd I tell you? Mrs. Kennedy and I are very close."

Jackie's place. Ethel, who seems to have suddenly lost the kazoo in her nose, tells Jackie that LBJ is using her as a PR tool. Jackie says sneeringly that she's not stupid. Wow, Jill Hennessy looks like a bit like Jackie O with that hair, although it is casting such an enormous shadow behind her that entire ecosystems are dying from lack of sunlight. Jackie gracefully does the exposition foxtrot -- she and Ethel partner well that way -- and says that LBJ is afraid America won't accept him as President unless she seems to be on his side. Ethel says it doesn't matter, since he won't get reelected. A sepulchral Bobby -- wearing a very handsome sweater -- intones, "Yes, he will. He's doing some good things. With any luck he'll get Jack's civil-rights legislation passed through." Ethel, ever the Mama Rose Lee of wives, says, "Well, it should be you!" She tells him to run in November. Jackie holds her head and asks what he'll do until then. Bobby says he doesn't know. Ethel cups his face and says that he should be VP. Bobby laughs, and says that would never happen, since LBJ is pretty insecure and might view him as a threat. Ethel says that if LBJ is using Jackie, he owes them one and should give Bobby the office. Holy Christ. Ethel has obviously read Machiavelli's The Prince one too many times. Jackie, voice shaking, says that LBJ's a sweet man, and that it's an awful world when you can't accept someone's kindness at face value. Ethel says dryly, "So what else is new?" Yeah -- let me underline Ethel's underlying message, or as we English majors used to say, "subtext," by saying, "Cram it, Jackie." Also, to paraphrase my grandmother, "That's rich, coming from you!" Jill Hennessy squinches her face a lot. I wonder if she learned that at acting school.

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To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II Oh, now I feel bad. The next scene shows Jackie crying over a photo album of her and Jack. She's probably just crying because her bouffant is falling flat in some of the photos. Hmm. I guess I don't feel that bad. Joan and Jackie are at lunch. Joan is telling Jackie that they all care about her and are worried, and that she should take some time away to heal. Jackie is wearing an enormous black shawl wrapped around her head, a black dress, and her soon-to-be-trademark enormous black glasses. She looks like the Queen of Planet Bee-ania. Actually, amongst the blindingly white tablecloths, she looks like a gigantic black Q-tip. Way to be inconspicuous. Jackie sobs out that she keeps thinking how things could've been different if she'd just looked to the right, or had moved back. She continues to drink from her glass of Self-Recrimination Punch. Joan bows her head. Jackie apologizes for making Joan listen to her story and asks how Ted is. Joan says that he's up for reelection -- and that she's with child. They've decided to name the embryonic crumb-snatcher Patrick, in honor of her and Jack. Jackie looks like she swallowed a bug. She says she's pleased, though. You know, I don't know much about Jackie O other than what was in the general media, so in all fairness I think it's the Jackie O in the movie and maybe Jill Hennessy that I loathe, because I hate her more and more with every line she speaks. Jackie says fakely, "That would make me very proud." Joan picks up her wine, then puts it down and says that she's going to stop "for the baby's sake," and that Jackie should, too. Jackie asks "Why? There won't be any more babies for me." A car stops in the middle of a Georgetown street. It's Bobby and Ethel. Bobby tells Ethel he has to see Jackie, apologizing like a madman (tm Holden Caulfield). Ethel is none too happy. Cut to Jackie opening the door. It's Bobby, with a sea of hungry reporters and photographers behind him. Jackie murmurs, "I suppose it's only fair. I'm all they have left of him." She bemoans her identity as JFK's wife some more as she hands Bobby a drink. Bobby says, "It's tearing me apart, Jackie -- I had to be near you." The line and the reading the actor gives it pretty much imply that what he's really saying is, "But ah lurve you!" but not quite. Jackie smiles understandingly as she strokes his face and says, "Near him." Bobby smiles, chagrined, and grabs her hand. Jackie changes the subject and asks him to put the angel on top of the tree. Bobby does so, a little awkwardly, and both he and Jackie giggle at how silly he looks.

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