MONDO EXTRAS

To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II

Ted's hospital room. They're discussing what will happen with Ted out for so long. Bobby says that Joan can campaign for him, since she did such a good job last time. She says that of course she will, and that she needs a room next to Ted's so she can discuss everything with him.

Ted is lying on one of those strappy beds so he can lie on his stomach and still breathe. He and Joan are discussing the campaign. He tells her it's a great chance for her to do something for herself. Um, how would that work, Ted, since she's working to get your broken behind re-elected? Joan says, "It's not for me. It's for you." Ted looks like he smelled a used baby diaper.

More campaign scenes. Joan is Miss Campaign Dynamo. Joan is visibly blossoming. LBJ calls to say hello -- sans reporters this time. He tells her "to be a good little girl" out on the campaign trail. Joan is thrilled to her toes. These scenes are putting me to sleep.

Oh my God. The most beautiful apartment ever. It's all wood and huge windows and tons of floor space. Oh God. You know, the older I get, the more real estate replaces pornography as a source of illicit, unattainable thrills. Jackie tells Ethel about her house-hunting strategy: her secretary pretends to be the buyer, while Jackie pretends to be the nanny. Yeah, I hope she abandons her Bedouin "I vant to be alone" disguise while she plays nanny. Ethel remarks that how will she manage, since it only has fourteen rooms. Jackie laughs it off and tells her that Grandma Rose said the same thing, and that she wanted to put her on a budget -- can you imagine? Ethel snorts. Then she says that if Jackie doesn't want it, she and Bobby will take it. Bobby announces he needs a residence since he's running for the New York Senate. Jackie asks meaningfully if that's what he wants. Bobby shrugs and says he has to do something with his life. Ethel says -- and she seems to have recovered her "accent" -- that it's a stepping-stone to '68. Jackie says quietly that Bobby has only to ask her for a favor and she'll do it, that he knows she'd "put [her] hand in the fire for [him]."

Press conference. Bobby announces his campaign. Reporters quiz him about using New York for a future presidential campaign. Bobby smoothly orates his way out of it.

Happy shots of Bobby campaigning and givin' and receivin' the love. The adoring crowds tend to be almost all women. More montages of his campaign. At one whistle stop, Ethel and Bobby almost lose it when a car backfires. Surprise, surprise -- Bobby wins.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Comments

To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II Ted's reelection campaign. Ted's addressing his campaigners over a loudspeaker, telling them he's working so hard for JFK's civil rights legislation that he can't be there, and not to get so impatient that they nominate Joan instead. Later that night. Knock at the door. Joan opens it. It's her watchdog, telling her that Ted's plane crashed, and that the pilot died instantly. Ted may not make it. Joan understandably freaks -- but in a very quiet, repressed way. The Whitney Ovary misses her cue and dabs on a last dash of patchouli before she rushes out her dressing room, but the Suppressed Synthesizer of Sorrow takes up her slack. Hospital. Ted's back is broken and he's bleeding internally. There is no joy in Kennedyville, I tell ya. I mean, when God was handing out the "get assassinated," "get killed in tragic plane accidents," and "involvement in various murder-rape cases" cards he was a little heavy-handed with the Kennedys. ["Don't forget the 'get killed in skiing mishaps' card." -- Sars] Ted is immobilized in bed, under a giant plastic dome. Joan watches, moon-eyed. These next scenes are supposed to be tender, but are instead boring. Fast-forward. Limo. Crazed phalanx of reporters. Jackie gets out and fights her way through them. Actually, by today's standards, the reporters could be at a tea party. Jackie rushes in to see Joan. Joan tells Jackie he's going to live. They cry. Joan says solemnly that it's a curse, that she heard about a gypsy that Joe Kennedy did something to, and that she gave the Kennedys the evil eye. Okay. Ahem. BWAH HA HA HA! Jackie takes her totally seriously and tells Joan that she can't believe that. Hell, let her believe it. Joan asks Jackie if they're all doomed. Press conference. Bobby tells the reporters that Ted will take a year to recover and to walk again. A reporter asks how that will affect Ted's political career -- or Bobby's. Bobby firms his jaw and says that the Kennedys will remain in public life, and that "good luck is something you make, while bad luck is something you endure." Damn! Look at Bobby throw down! The reporters eat it up. Jackie stands in the back and looks pensive, and a touch nostalgic. Or rather, Jill Hennessy looks blank-faced and that's what I infer. Ted's hospital room. They're discussing what will happen with Ted out for so long. Bobby says that Joan can campaign for him, since she did such a good job last time. She says that of course she will, and that she needs a room next to Ted's so she can discuss everything with him.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP