MONDO EXTRAS

To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II

Press conference. Bobby announces Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assassination to a group of civil rights workers. Apparently the Wailing Ovary is suffering from "exhaustion," because the Mournful Piano has decided to take her place. Thank God. Bobby tells blacks not to be angry that MLK was assassinated by Whitey, since he, too, has had someone beloved assassinated by Whitey. Oh, wow, that speech convinced me. Call off the looting, kids! Then he quotes some Greek philosophers.

Bobby. Phone. Jackie. Bobby is giving her guff for associating with Onassis, since it's making him look bad. Ethel hovers, Mama Rose Lee-like, over him. Jackie says she's sick of being trotted out "like some grieving old war-horse every time the nation wants a good cry." Oh, fine -- haw.

Jackie's apartment. Ethel and Joan ascend the steps. A crowd of photographers -- obviously regulars -- line the steps to the lobby. Ethel says, "Would ya look at this freak-show?" Joan makes nice, and Ethel says, "Oh, for Pete's sake, Joan, would you stop it?" Hee.

Jackie serves Ethel and Joan Greek food, courtesy of one of Ari's cooks that he "lent" her. Wow, has Ari heard about a little something called the Emancipation Proclamation? Ethel says disparagingly, "Well, it's very rich." Ethel then asks point-blank how serious it is with Onassis. Jackie says he makes her happy. Ethel is alarmed that they might get married. Jackie says she won't live off the Kennedys for the rest of her life -- so, yeah, it makes sense that she'll live off an old Greek dude instead. Her logic is a little Byzantine for my taste. Let's call a concubine a concubine. Ethel proceeds to serve her some comeuppance garnished with a great deal of "you selfish bitch, don't ruin my chance to redecorate the White House." Joan, to smooth over the tension, says quietly, "This salad's really good." Jackie smiles at her.

Hyannis Port. TV. Fake news footage. LBJ announces he won't seek the Democratic nomination. The Kennedys cheer. Jackie, smiling and flushed, says, "Won't it be wonderful when we're back in the White House?" Ethel immediately bristles and says, "Whaddya mean 'we'?" To give her credit, it seemed like Jackie meant "we" as in "the Kennedy clan." Ethel realizes she's really put her foot in it. Dead silence. Jackie is mortified. She kisses Bobby on the cheek, then runs outside. Bobby gives Ethel The Glare Of Retribution. Ethel runs after Jackie but is halted by a bodyguard, who tells Ethel Mrs. Kennedy doesn't want to see her. Ethel protests, and asks the guard to tell Jackie that she's sorry -- oh, yeah, and that she's pregnant. Again.

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To sum up...

by Manimal March 14, 2001
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot, Part II November 1964. Hyannis Port. Bobby and Teddy are being tended to by Rose. Ethel spots Joan on the news, in Berlin. Jackie's watching from her New York apartment. Joan makes a nice little speech about how proud she is to be representing the Kennedy Exhibition and JFK, and repeats his famous words: "Ich bin ein Berliner." Jackie tears up as she watches Joan and murmurs, "She's wonderful." Just then, Jackie gets a visitor. She tells Caroline to be nice to the nice Sugar Daddy -- er, guest. Aristotle Onassis enters, and brings her about one million gifts. Then, in the worst editing job ever, we see Ethel holding a baby and telling Bobby no more, in a joking way that clearly says "in the future keep that obscene pickle between your legs the hell away from me" (tm John Waters). Bobby says, "That's what you said before." Bobby and Ethel watch TV. Newsreel footage of the Vietnam War and the protests in the US. It also announces Joseph McCarthy's grassroots campaign for President. Ethel slides to her knees and all but sings "To Dream the Impossible Dream" as she points out that Bobby needs to run for President, since LBJ doesn't have the popular support to win reelection. Bobby is pensive, then convinced. In fact, that's all Bobby ever is. Well, occasionally he's toothy, too. There's a quick but cute scene of Ethel leading the entire passel of crumb-snatchers holding RFK signs and chanting, "RFK in '68." I mean, ignoring the child labor law violations and the creepy Freudian implications, it's a cute scene. Joan drives up. Her hair is really long now. Inside, Joan asks Ethel if she's scared after what happened to JFK. Ethel says yes, but that Bobby's got so much to give. It's a scary little speech, mixing genuine idealism and fervor with a distinct "It's my turn to be queen!" flavor. By the way, in case I haven't said it before, as an actress Lauren Holly sucks canal water, big-time. Press conference. Bobby announces Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assassination to a group of civil rights workers. Apparently the Wailing Ovary is suffering from "exhaustion," because the Mournful Piano has decided to take her place. Thank God. Bobby tells blacks not to be angry that MLK was assassinated by Whitey, since he, too, has had someone beloved assassinated by Whitey. Oh, wow, that speech convinced me. Call off the looting, kids! Then he quotes some Greek philosophers. Bobby. Phone. Jackie. Bobby is giving her guff for associating with Onassis, since it's making him look bad. Ethel hovers, Mama Rose Lee-like, over him. Jackie says she's sick of being trotted out "like some grieving old war-horse every time the nation wants a good cry." Oh, fine -- haw.

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