MONDO EXTRAS

Court of No Appeal

by Shack May 25, 2002
L.A. Law: The Movie

Oh, Verizon Guy. I'm torn between smacking the crap out of you and making sweet, sweet love to you. It's like my own Spike-Buffy relationship.

We return to Dave's deathbed, where Dave lies in bed, slowly dying. Yosh and Stuart are there. Dave is talking about some deal he arranged that resulted in the creation of wax lips or something. Yosh is sitting at Dave's bedside, trying to soothe him or whatever. Stuart accuses Yosh of trying to pull a scam on a dying man. Yosh decides that it's best for him to leave. After he's gone, Dave gives a big speech about how he's always been a con just like Yosh. And though he pulled the wool over any number of people's eyes, he claims that he always left them with something. Yeah, I don't know what that means, either. He says that though Yosh may have bilked the hell out of Ann and Stuart, he left Dave with a sense of inner peace -- and a desire to help Stuart out of his debt. There's a bank draft on the nearby dresser covering the money that Ann and Stuart lost. Stuart asks why he's helping them. Dave says he wants them to stop fighting with Yosh and be friends. Stuart tries to give the money back, but Dave won't take it, and pretends to go to sleep. ["That's nice. Dave-us Ex Machina." -- Wing Chun]

Another staff meeting. Jason is missing this time. Ann complains about Chloe, but Arnie argues that his divorce problems take precedence. Leland agrees and bitches Arnie out for dragging the firm into Arnie's personal life. Well, you're letting one of the firm's lawyers represent him already, so you don't have much room to complain. Arnie insists that he's being reasonable, and of course we all know he's not, so could we please move this damnable plot forward? Douglas orders Arnie to resolve the issues. Arnie pissily says that Douglas doesn't have the right to order Arnie around in his divorce, and stomps out.

Douglas shifts his attention to the Chloe issue. After Ann explains what happened with Max, Douglas tells her to fire Chloe. Stuart says they can't, because she might sue for sexual harassment, even though she hasn't actually been harassed at all. Well, once she's spent some more time with Arnie, she'll have a case. Ann asks what they should do. Stuart says he has an idea.

Cut to Stuart leading Chloe into a file storage room. He explains that in the event they are required to honor Abby's demand for file access, they need all the cases sorted by payments and expenses incurred. Chloe asks why they're asking her to do it. Stuart tells her that the case could get nasty, and they need somebody "good" to do it. I don't think forcing Chloe to do crap work until she quits on her own isn't going to protect you from a sexual harassment suit, either. ["Plus isn't crap work all lawyers get to do for the first ten years of their professional lives, anyway?" -- Wing Chun]

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Court of No Appeal

by Shack May 25, 2002
L.A. Law: The Movie Oh, Verizon Guy. I'm torn between smacking the crap out of you and making sweet, sweet love to you. It's like my own Spike-Buffy relationship. We return to Dave's deathbed, where Dave lies in bed, slowly dying. Yosh and Stuart are there. Dave is talking about some deal he arranged that resulted in the creation of wax lips or something. Yosh is sitting at Dave's bedside, trying to soothe him or whatever. Stuart accuses Yosh of trying to pull a scam on a dying man. Yosh decides that it's best for him to leave. After he's gone, Dave gives a big speech about how he's always been a con just like Yosh. And though he pulled the wool over any number of people's eyes, he claims that he always left them with something. Yeah, I don't know what that means, either. He says that though Yosh may have bilked the hell out of Ann and Stuart, he left Dave with a sense of inner peace -- and a desire to help Stuart out of his debt. There's a bank draft on the nearby dresser covering the money that Ann and Stuart lost. Stuart asks why he's helping them. Dave says he wants them to stop fighting with Yosh and be friends. Stuart tries to give the money back, but Dave won't take it, and pretends to go to sleep. ["That's nice. Dave-us Ex Machina." -- Wing Chun] Another staff meeting. Jason is missing this time. Ann complains about Chloe, but Arnie argues that his divorce problems take precedence. Leland agrees and bitches Arnie out for dragging the firm into Arnie's personal life. Well, you're letting one of the firm's lawyers represent him already, so you don't have much room to complain. Arnie insists that he's being reasonable, and of course we all know he's not, so could we please move this damnable plot forward? Douglas orders Arnie to resolve the issues. Arnie pissily says that Douglas doesn't have the right to order Arnie around in his divorce, and stomps out. Douglas shifts his attention to the Chloe issue. After Ann explains what happened with Max, Douglas tells her to fire Chloe. Stuart says they can't, because she might sue for sexual harassment, even though she hasn't actually been harassed at all. Well, once she's spent some more time with Arnie, she'll have a case. Ann asks what they should do. Stuart says he has an idea. Cut to Stuart leading Chloe into a file storage room. He explains that in the event they are required to honor Abby's demand for file access, they need all the cases sorted by payments and expenses incurred. Chloe asks why they're asking her to do it. Stuart tells her that the case could get nasty, and they need somebody "good" to do it. I don't think forcing Chloe to do crap work until she quits on her own isn't going to protect you from a sexual harassment suit, either. ["Plus isn't crap work all lawyers get to do for the first ten years of their professional lives, anyway?" -- Wing Chun]

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