MONDO EXTRAS

Like Scary, Like Bored

by Stee May 23, 2001
Like Mother, Like Son: The Strange Story of Sante and Kenny Kimes

Present. Stapleton asks the funny little houseboy where her passport is. He doesn't know. He wonders whether she's going to Central Park for fireworks. She's staying "close to home." The houseboy takes off for the weekend. Gabe watches everyone leave for the big weekend. Then MTM calls the guy who sold them the gun in whatever earlier scene we were supposed to be watching and says they have a job for him and need him to come to New York because they need a manager for a new building they've taken over. Gabe's head is in MTM's lap during the phone call. I hope that boy shampoos later.

Stapleton talks to the suspicious maid, who says that all the guests have gone for the weekend except Gabe. She doesn't like Gabe. (Somewhere, Gabe shrugs.) Stapleton says that he keeps to himself and that he'll be gone soon and Maid should go have a good weekend and her friend is coming over for the night anyway so she'll be fine. Is this an apartment or a Bed & Breakfast or a rooming house for the rich? I don't get it. But look, it's nearly over so I don't have to!

The friend is over and they have dinner and prattle on. Friend asks Stapleton to come stay with her and they'll get their nails done in the morning and she worries about the old coot, but Stapleton begs off, saying, "You know me. I'm like an old tea bag. I get stronger in hot water." Man! How they gonna call Jean Stapleton an old tea bag? That's just fucked up. (I wonder if she knows what "tea-bagging" means.) The friend pretends to laugh and then bails. Stapleton sees her out.

Meanwhile, Gabe sees the friend leave, and he and MTM get ready for their "own Independence Day." Stapleton then gets a call from Gabe's room. Stapleton is all cold to him, much like his agent will be after seeing this débacle. Gabe asks Stapleton to come by. She tells him that the staff doesn't work holidays, and asks what he needs. Gabe wants to stay on longer, and wonders whether they can iron out whatever's troubling her. Stapleton says that they can talk later, and hangs up. She then tells her boxer, "I don't like this. I don't like this at all," parroting all of America.

Gabe and MTM walk upstairs to Stapleton's room, the Crooked Camera of Danger following them. Mother and Son brazenly run around, calling for "Irene!" and telling her not to hide. MTM croaks, "Irene, you're ignoring us. Is that any way to treat your guests?" I'm waiting for the "goodnight, Irene" joke. They head into the kitchen, where a teapot is whistling. Gabe then opens a door -- don't open the door, Gabe! -- and the boxer attacks him in slo-mo! Gabe's shoe flies into the frame and we fade out. Wow. I haven't been that scared since...well, two minutes ago when I took a sip of Diet Coke and scratched my arm absent-mindedly.

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Comments

Like Scary, Like Bored

by Stee May 23, 2001
Like Mother, Like Son: The Strange Story of Sante and Kenny Kimes Present. Stapleton asks the funny little houseboy where her passport is. He doesn't know. He wonders whether she's going to Central Park for fireworks. She's staying "close to home." The houseboy takes off for the weekend. Gabe watches everyone leave for the big weekend. Then MTM calls the guy who sold them the gun in whatever earlier scene we were supposed to be watching and says they have a job for him and need him to come to New York because they need a manager for a new building they've taken over. Gabe's head is in MTM's lap during the phone call. I hope that boy shampoos later. Stapleton talks to the suspicious maid, who says that all the guests have gone for the weekend except Gabe. She doesn't like Gabe. (Somewhere, Gabe shrugs.) Stapleton says that he keeps to himself and that he'll be gone soon and Maid should go have a good weekend and her friend is coming over for the night anyway so she'll be fine. Is this an apartment or a Bed & Breakfast or a rooming house for the rich? I don't get it. But look, it's nearly over so I don't have to! The friend is over and they have dinner and prattle on. Friend asks Stapleton to come stay with her and they'll get their nails done in the morning and she worries about the old coot, but Stapleton begs off, saying, "You know me. I'm like an old tea bag. I get stronger in hot water." Man! How they gonna call Jean Stapleton an old tea bag? That's just fucked up. (I wonder if she knows what "tea-bagging" means.) The friend pretends to laugh and then bails. Stapleton sees her out. Meanwhile, Gabe sees the friend leave, and he and MTM get ready for their "own Independence Day." Stapleton then gets a call from Gabe's room. Stapleton is all cold to him, much like his agent will be after seeing this débacle. Gabe asks Stapleton to come by. She tells him that the staff doesn't work holidays, and asks what he needs. Gabe wants to stay on longer, and wonders whether they can iron out whatever's troubling her. Stapleton says that they can talk later, and hangs up. She then tells her boxer, "I don't like this. I don't like this at all," parroting all of America. Gabe and MTM walk upstairs to Stapleton's room, the Crooked Camera of Danger following them. Mother and Son brazenly run around, calling for "Irene!" and telling her not to hide. MTM croaks, "Irene, you're ignoring us. Is that any way to treat your guests?" I'm waiting for the "goodnight, Irene" joke. They head into the kitchen, where a teapot is whistling. Gabe then opens a door -- don't open the door, Gabe! -- and the boxer attacks him in slo-mo! Gabe's shoe flies into the frame and we fade out. Wow. I haven't been that scared since...well, two minutes ago when I took a sip of Diet Coke and scratched my arm absent-mindedly.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

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