MONDO EXTRAS

Little House On The Prairie: “A Matter Of Faith”

The next morning, some kid finds the Ingalls's cow in his yard. He shows his father, who recognizes it as the Ingalls's cow. The kid offers to take the cow back to the Ingalls family, but the Pa says that he's going to milk it first, so I guess not everyone on the prairie was as ethical as Pa. Or maybe he just hates Pa. Suddenly, I'm kind of interested in the backstory and why this guy hates Pa so much. The boy thinks they should take the cow back, but the father won't relent.

Ma is still passed out in her chair, although the fire has died down by now. She wakes up and screams in pain. She looks down at her leg, but it's covered by her nightgown. She puts on a face of steely resolve and slooooowly peels back the nightgown. Her whole foot and ankle are red and swollen, and when she gets to the cut...it's not good. It's purple and swollen and just gross. I have it paused, and my husband just walked in and went, "Eeesh," if that gives you any indication. Ma tries not to completely lose her shit, and her vision is all wavy. She tries to stand up, but really can't. Just as she gets to her feet, she pitches forward and thumps onto the floor.

Cut to a bunch of piglets suckling from their mother. Weirdest transition ever. Mary, Laura, and Carrie are petting a piglet. Carrie wants to take the piglet home and keep it in her bed, and Mary and Laura try to explain why she can't. Wow, what a waste of time that was. Pa manages to pick up some smoked meat, and packs it into his wagon. The farmer tries to convince Pa to take the piglet home. Pa says no, and Carrie asks what will happen to the pig when he gets older. Pa doesn't know how to tell her that the pig will end up in someone's skillet, so the farmer makes up a tale about the pig getting married and having babies. That satisfies Carrie, because she's simple, and Pa says that they need to get going so that they can meet Ma for their picnic. And then there's like ten minutes of footage of the farmer putting the piglet back in the pen, like, do we care that the piglet storyline gets resolved?

Time passes. Ma sits in front of the fire and puts a compress on her leg and then picks up her Bible for some comfort, I guess. She tries to read the Psalms, but her eyes aren't focusing very well, and she's all sweaty again. Maybe she shouldn't sit so close to the fire. Anyway, she throws her head back and kind of passes out, and her neck is really sweaty, like the PA with the mister went a little overboard.

So Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster roll up in their wagon, and it seems like they have a body bound up in the back. What in the hell is that? Now, remember, Ma is passed out on the floor inside. Reverend Alden knocks on the door, but Ma doesn't answer, since she's unconscious and all. Luckily, Ma has left the pies sitting out on the shelves, so Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster figure that Ma took off early to meet her family. I'm not sure how they think Ma got there, since it's not like the Ingalls family is like Master P with thirteen different modes of transportation in the garage. The Ingalls family has the one wagon, and the two horses, and Pa took all of them on the trip. But seriously, how are those pies not all soggy and stuff? They've been sitting outside for a day and night. At the very least, they'd be all buggy. As Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster leave, Ma starts to wake up. She hears Reverend Alden outside. She opens one eye and we get a creepy vertigo shot of Ma's POV as she hears Mrs. Foster going on and on about how great the pies look. Ma crawls over to the window, which is closed. Reverend Alden packs up the last pie and climbs into the wagon. Ma makes it over to the window and pulls the shutter open just as Reverend Alden drives away in the wagon. Ma tries to scream, but no noise comes out. She collapses to the floor, and then manages to reach up on the table and grab her rolling pin. She tosses it at the window, breaking the glass, but Reverend Alden is too far away to hear, and Ma sinks to the floor again, sobbing.

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Little House On The Prairie: “A Matter Of Faith”

Cut to Ma, who is sweating like there's no tomorrow, and also having fever dreams or convulsions or something. She wakes with a start and cries out for Charles. Then she gets up and climbs up the ladder to the loft, only to find that the girls aren't there. Have I mentioned how creepy it is to see Ma with her hair down? Because it's creepier than the sweat or convulsions. Also, I think Ma is sleeping in Pa's nightshirt. Ma goes over to the stove and tosses in some newspaper. It's kind of weird that, two seconds ago, she was sweating her ass off, and now she's cold. Or it could be that the whole newspaper thing was just a ruse for the next part: as Ma crumples the newspaper, she sees the article Pa was reading about the Springfield family being robbed. And then the doorknob kind of clunks. And then the lightning and thunder starts up, and they alternate shots of the roof with extreme close-up shots of Ma's eyeball, and it's actually quite scary. This is the part where, if this were a movie, the phone would ring and someone would say, "You haven't checked the children yet." But instead, Ma grabs the key and locks the door, and then cries a little bit, but we don't judge her, because we would cry, too. As Ma walks across the floor, she limps a little bit, like she just remembered about her leg. She checks the injury, but we don't see it. We only see her reaction, which looks pretty alarmed, and scared. And then she uses a poker to stir up the fire a little. As you do when you think your leg might be about to fall off.

The next morning, some kid finds the Ingalls's cow in his yard. He shows his father, who recognizes it as the Ingalls's cow. The kid offers to take the cow back to the Ingalls family, but the Pa says that he's going to milk it first, so I guess not everyone on the prairie was as ethical as Pa. Or maybe he just hates Pa. Suddenly, I'm kind of interested in the backstory and why this guy hates Pa so much. The boy thinks they should take the cow back, but the father won't relent.

Ma is still passed out in her chair, although the fire has died down by now. She wakes up and screams in pain. She looks down at her leg, but it's covered by her nightgown. She puts on a face of steely resolve and slooooowly peels back the nightgown. Her whole foot and ankle are red and swollen, and when she gets to the cut...it's not good. It's purple and swollen and just gross. I have it paused, and my husband just walked in and went, "Eeesh," if that gives you any indication. Ma tries not to completely lose her shit, and her vision is all wavy. She tries to stand up, but really can't. Just as she gets to her feet, she pitches forward and thumps onto the floor.

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