MONDO EXTRAS

Little House On The Prairie: Whisper Country

Fisher house. Mary is transmitting scandalous information to Ma Fisher and Katie. Ma Fisher is particularly interested in these "telly-phones." Mary explains how you can use them to talk to people across the country, and how you can put them on a table or on a desk -- even in the barn! Caleb comes in just as Mary is Schoolhouse-Rocking that "America will be a lot smaller, thanks to Mr. Bell." Predictably, Caleb's all, "Who?", and Mary has to explain who Alexander Graham Bell is, and how he's the inventor of the telly-phone. "You can put one in the barn," Katie chirps. Not to be rude, but I think that kid is a couple of eggs shy of a good pancake batter, if you get my meaning. Ma Fisher tries to get the discussion back on track, saying, "People can talk across miles." "That is a lie!" Caleb predictably bellows. Ma and Katie look down at the table, and Mary decides she will take no more of this. No more! "No, sir, it is not," she says. She goes on to explain how the telephone was at the Philadelphia Exposition, and how the newspapers wrote stories all about it. "Stories!" he says. "LIES!" He says it's a good thing he came in to dispose of his muddy boots, or he wouldn't have heard all these fanciful things Mary is making up. "I did not make it up!" Mary says, close to tears. Caleb ignores her and announces to his wife that he's hungry. Terrified, she leaps up to serve. Caleb walks over to Mary. He wants to know what's up with sending Joshua Bond home, and tells her that if she does it again, Joshua's father will "have a talk with Miss Peel." And then Mary will get herpes, or scales, or frogs in her intestines or something, I suppose. Once again, Mary shows absolutely no ability to keep her powder dry, as she looks up at Caleb with open hatred and nearly spits that she told Joshua she'd talk to his father if necessary, and that she'll send him home again if he misbehaves. She stands up and stomps over to the ladder. She turns. "And I do not lie! There is such a thing as a telephone!" On this marvelous exit line, she stomps upstairs, and the dramatic strings are like, "Nuuuuuuuh!" And then the strings drop, and drop, and drop, until they sound like they're wrapped around a collapsed tuba. Caleb looks over at his wife. Katie looks terrified, but then breaks into a smile, which... I guess is supposed to be happiness that somebody told her father off? That's really... incongruous, actually.

Outside, Caleb gets up on the wagon, and Ma brings him some food. He does not thank her. She should just be glad he lets her live inside instead of in the barn. She tells him that with a little more notice, she'd have made him something better. "It ain't the lunch! It's the corn price I'm worried about!" he growls. I can totally see why she married him. I bet on their first date, he gave her a boiled lemon to suck on while he cleaned his fingernails. He drives off. Ma returns to her life of misery, watching as Mary and Katie leave for school. Ma notes that Mary's dress is the one Caleb didn't think she should wear, and loosely paraphrased, Mary's response is, "Whatever." As Mary and Katie are leaving, Mary notes that there's a chicken tangled in a string near the... henhouse, or whatever that is. Even though Katie's yells, "Miss Ingalls, no!", Mary untangles the chicken. It apparently never occurs to Mary that the chicken might be tied up on purpose, probably because Mary is unaware of any psychologically sound reasons for tying up chickens. Katie runs away in terror, and Mary screeches after her.

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Little House On The Prairie: Whisper Country

Fisher house. Mary is transmitting scandalous information to Ma Fisher and Katie. Ma Fisher is particularly interested in these "telly-phones." Mary explains how you can use them to talk to people across the country, and how you can put them on a table or on a desk -- even in the barn! Caleb comes in just as Mary is Schoolhouse-Rocking that "America will be a lot smaller, thanks to Mr. Bell." Predictably, Caleb's all, "Who?", and Mary has to explain who Alexander Graham Bell is, and how he's the inventor of the telly-phone. "You can put one in the barn," Katie chirps. Not to be rude, but I think that kid is a couple of eggs shy of a good pancake batter, if you get my meaning. Ma Fisher tries to get the discussion back on track, saying, "People can talk across miles." "That is a lie!" Caleb predictably bellows. Ma and Katie look down at the table, and Mary decides she will take no more of this. No more! "No, sir, it is not," she says. She goes on to explain how the telephone was at the Philadelphia Exposition, and how the newspapers wrote stories all about it. "Stories!" he says. "LIES!" He says it's a good thing he came in to dispose of his muddy boots, or he wouldn't have heard all these fanciful things Mary is making up. "I did not make it up!" Mary says, close to tears. Caleb ignores her and announces to his wife that he's hungry. Terrified, she leaps up to serve. Caleb walks over to Mary. He wants to know what's up with sending Joshua Bond home, and tells her that if she does it again, Joshua's father will "have a talk with Miss Peel." And then Mary will get herpes, or scales, or frogs in her intestines or something, I suppose. Once again, Mary shows absolutely no ability to keep her powder dry, as she looks up at Caleb with open hatred and nearly spits that she told Joshua she'd talk to his father if necessary, and that she'll send him home again if he misbehaves. She stands up and stomps over to the ladder. She turns. "And I do not lie! There is such a thing as a telephone!" On this marvelous exit line, she stomps upstairs, and the dramatic strings are like, "Nuuuuuuuh!" And then the strings drop, and drop, and drop, until they sound like they're wrapped around a collapsed tuba. Caleb looks over at his wife. Katie looks terrified, but then breaks into a smile, which... I guess is supposed to be happiness that somebody told her father off? That's really... incongruous, actually.

Outside, Caleb gets up on the wagon, and Ma brings him some food. He does not thank her. She should just be glad he lets her live inside instead of in the barn. She tells him that with a little more notice, she'd have made him something better. "It ain't the lunch! It's the corn price I'm worried about!" he growls. I can totally see why she married him. I bet on their first date, he gave her a boiled lemon to suck on while he cleaned his fingernails. He drives off. Ma returns to her life of misery, watching as Mary and Katie leave for school. Ma notes that Mary's dress is the one Caleb didn't think she should wear, and loosely paraphrased, Mary's response is, "Whatever." As Mary and Katie are leaving, Mary notes that there's a chicken tangled in a string near the... henhouse, or whatever that is. Even though Katie's yells, "Miss Ingalls, no!", Mary untangles the chicken. It apparently never occurs to Mary that the chicken might be tied up on purpose, probably because Mary is unaware of any psychologically sound reasons for tying up chickens. Katie runs away in terror, and Mary screeches after her.

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