MONDO EXTRAS

Little House On The Prairie: Whisper Country

Katie hears Caleb come in the door, and she tells Mary they'd "best hurry." Mary says she'll be there in a bit -- she wants to wash up and change her clothes. It's weird -- I'm no master of good manners, but even I would not insist on showering and changing if it meant I'd be late for dinner when I just got there. Katie tells her to hurry, then vanishes down the ladder. Mary looks around for a minute, then goes and pours water into the bowl. What is apparently a few minutes later, Mary descends the ladder, finding the Fishers already in the middle of eating. She comes over to the table and apologizes for being late, and Caleb looks up at her with pure hate. "Katie told you her mother was taking up the supper," he says angrily. Mary repeats her "I wanted to wash and change" thing. Caleb looks down at Mary's dress, then says that the other one was fine. In fact, he does not think this dress is "a proper dress." He is almost at a loss for words, like he thinks Mary is a downright fancy lady in this dress. If I didn't know better, I'd think the dress was giving him impure thoughts. Mary looks down at the dress, pointing out with confusion that it's her "Sunday dress." The one she wears to church! "Not here," Caleb tells her. And then he says, "Enough talk!" Because when Mary and Caleb Fisher share a room, it doesn't take much talk for there to have been enough talk. He orders Mary to sit down. She does. See, this is why you shouldn't be late for dinner. It just starts fights. He then orders Mary to eat. The Fisher family, plus Interloper Mary, eats in silence.

When dinner is over, Mary helps clear the table. Mrs. Fisher assures her she doesn't need to, but Mary carries on anyway, saying she does the dishes at home. Not satisfied, Mary prattles on about all the things they did at home to make the chores go faster. Like for instance, Pa used to read the newspaper to them around election time. "How the troops went to Oregon and Florida to help count the votes to decide who was going to be President?" Man, Florida was high-maintenance even then, apparently. Mary also says that Pa used to "play the fiddle 'til the dishes in the cupboards danced," but Ma Fisher doesn't care about that, because she hasn't seen Beauty And The Beast, so she doesn't know just how adorable dancing flatware can be. Instead, she wants to know who the President is. Mary, who has yet to notice that Ma Fisher lives inside the house like a lizard in a terrarium, is like, "What?" Caleb jumps in, saying it's Ulysses S. Grant. Mary corrects him that Rutherford B. Hayes is now the president. You can now mark down Mary Ingalls as the first person to ever come off like a total know-it-all just for knowing who the president is. Unsure how to respond to this, Caleb grouches into the table that if his wife said she didn't need help, she doesn't need it. "Your room's upstairs," he says firmly. "You can sleep in the bed, Katie can sleep on the floor." Mary starts to protest that she wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor, but Caleb shouts that she must sleep on the bed. Must! Quiet, woman! Get ye to bed! He says Mary will be called in time for breakfast, then throws his napkin down and heads into the bedroom. But before he goes, he turns and tells her she can't teach children in that horrible, scandalous dress. "You'd best wear something else," he says. Mary looks very unhappy, says good night to Ma Fisher, and retreats upstairs. Ma Fisher looks down at the dishes. "Hmmm," she thinks to herself, staring at the sad pot of meat she's being forced to clean. "Maybe I should invent third-wave feminism."

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Little House On The Prairie: Whisper Country

Katie hears Caleb come in the door, and she tells Mary they'd "best hurry." Mary says she'll be there in a bit -- she wants to wash up and change her clothes. It's weird -- I'm no master of good manners, but even I would not insist on showering and changing if it meant I'd be late for dinner when I just got there. Katie tells her to hurry, then vanishes down the ladder. Mary looks around for a minute, then goes and pours water into the bowl. What is apparently a few minutes later, Mary descends the ladder, finding the Fishers already in the middle of eating. She comes over to the table and apologizes for being late, and Caleb looks up at her with pure hate. "Katie told you her mother was taking up the supper," he says angrily. Mary repeats her "I wanted to wash and change" thing. Caleb looks down at Mary's dress, then says that the other one was fine. In fact, he does not think this dress is "a proper dress." He is almost at a loss for words, like he thinks Mary is a downright fancy lady in this dress. If I didn't know better, I'd think the dress was giving him impure thoughts. Mary looks down at the dress, pointing out with confusion that it's her "Sunday dress." The one she wears to church! "Not here," Caleb tells her. And then he says, "Enough talk!" Because when Mary and Caleb Fisher share a room, it doesn't take much talk for there to have been enough talk. He orders Mary to sit down. She does. See, this is why you shouldn't be late for dinner. It just starts fights. He then orders Mary to eat. The Fisher family, plus Interloper Mary, eats in silence.

When dinner is over, Mary helps clear the table. Mrs. Fisher assures her she doesn't need to, but Mary carries on anyway, saying she does the dishes at home. Not satisfied, Mary prattles on about all the things they did at home to make the chores go faster. Like for instance, Pa used to read the newspaper to them around election time. "How the troops went to Oregon and Florida to help count the votes to decide who was going to be President?" Man, Florida was high-maintenance even then, apparently. Mary also says that Pa used to "play the fiddle 'til the dishes in the cupboards danced," but Ma Fisher doesn't care about that, because she hasn't seen Beauty And The Beast, so she doesn't know just how adorable dancing flatware can be. Instead, she wants to know who the President is. Mary, who has yet to notice that Ma Fisher lives inside the house like a lizard in a terrarium, is like, "What?" Caleb jumps in, saying it's Ulysses S. Grant. Mary corrects him that Rutherford B. Hayes is now the president. You can now mark down Mary Ingalls as the first person to ever come off like a total know-it-all just for knowing who the president is. Unsure how to respond to this, Caleb grouches into the table that if his wife said she didn't need help, she doesn't need it. "Your room's upstairs," he says firmly. "You can sleep in the bed, Katie can sleep on the floor." Mary starts to protest that she wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor, but Caleb shouts that she must sleep on the bed. Must! Quiet, woman! Get ye to bed! He says Mary will be called in time for breakfast, then throws his napkin down and heads into the bedroom. But before he goes, he turns and tells her she can't teach children in that horrible, scandalous dress. "You'd best wear something else," he says. Mary looks very unhappy, says good night to Ma Fisher, and retreats upstairs. Ma Fisher looks down at the dishes. "Hmmm," she thinks to herself, staring at the sad pot of meat she's being forced to clean. "Maybe I should invent third-wave feminism."

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