MONDO EXTRAS

Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

A news announcer recaps the crash of the plane, while we watch FBI agents seize all of Peter's records from his home office.

Back at the briefing, Xena tells the task force that the locusts will eat anything growing, and that humans would starve to death long before the bugs would. Just then, Moist Dan arrives at the meeting. Xena is only mildly thrown off stride when she sees him arrive. She shows the task force a nifty computer animation of the two swarms expanding to completely cover the U.S. Apparently, however, they will not move into Mexico or Canada. Senator Kickass quotes Revelations. Hey, I already told you -- wrong show!

Back in his interrogation, Peter reveals that while the Department of Defense knew about his work, he has no idea who else knew.

General Jackass gets up to leave the meeting, telling his aide to take notes. Just then, Moist Dan is introduced as the U.N.'s Agricultural Attaché. As Moist Dan begins to speak, General Jackass leans down behind Secretary Ramirez and whispers, "If I was Secretary of Agriculture and I didn't know about this research, I'd wonder how long I'd have my job." Moist Dan starts to tell the task force that if the locusts are not contained, not only will everyone in the U.S. starve, but everyone who depends on U.S. food supplies will starve as well. He suggests that they use a technique used to combat locusts in less-developed nations, which is to bring in the crops as soon as the locusts appear, so that some food can be preserved. So, they're going to get every farmer to harvest immediately, even if the crops aren't fully developed.

In Skinny's hospital room, Mrs. Axelrod is wiping her brow while the news shows a massive multi-car pileup caused by drivers panicking during a locust swarm. The reporter finishes her report by telling viewers, "Let's be careful out there."

Some sheep graze in a field. We get another bug's-eye view of the swarm descending on the field as the sheep try to run away. The locusts seem to be following them.

Back at the task force meeting, Secretary Morales tells the group that the locusts can be tracked by satellite while they're swarming. Xena calls them "formidable foes." Just then General Jackass reenters the room and tells them that the military will stop the bugs if the USDA can just tell them where the bugs will be in the morning. People pretty much shoot down that idea. Then the Homeland Security guy gets a phone call. After he hangs up, he tells the group, "The eastern swarm killed livestock." Xena thinks they've become carnivorous. Moist Dan points out that when locusts run out of food, they often turn to eating each other. He thinks that the hybrid locusts could turn to eating meat if they run out of other sources of protein. Senator Kickass says, "We're on the menu." General Jackass thinks they need to consider military options, and he (again) blames the USDA for creating the problem. Secretary Morales tells Xena, "I need to speak to you, outside."

Out in the hallway, Xena follows Morales. He turns around, and she's all nonchalant, as if to say, "Yeah, you needed something?" He threatens her with the ruin of her career if she can't find a way to solve the problem. Somehow, in the face of global apocalypse, I'm thinking that she's not too frightened by that threat. She tells him that she needs to speak to Peter, but he tells her that Peter is unavailable, "To all of us." He starts to walk away, and she grabs him, and then looks at her hands as if she can't believe she just did that. She asks where Peter is, but he won't tell her. Viv walks by at that exact moment, and Xena tells her to "talk to [her] friends in the Security Branch" to try to find Peter. The security branch of what? Please don't tell me that USDA has a security branch. As Viv walks away, Moist Dan emerges from the meeting and calls out to her, "Dr. [Xena]?" She addresses him as "Dr. [Moist Dan]." He compliments her performance in the meeting, and when she says that she needs to sit down, he asks if she's sick. She looks up at him and says, "No, I'm pregnant." Moist Dan gets even moister, as he gets a giddy grin on his face and tells her that she's radiant. The bigwigs choose that moment to walk out of the meeting, and Xena and Moist Dan act all official again. As she walks away, she grabs his hand and wishes him luck in Ohio.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next

Comments

Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

A news announcer recaps the crash of the plane, while we watch FBI agents seize all of Peter's records from his home office.

Back at the briefing, Xena tells the task force that the locusts will eat anything growing, and that humans would starve to death long before the bugs would. Just then, Moist Dan arrives at the meeting. Xena is only mildly thrown off stride when she sees him arrive. She shows the task force a nifty computer animation of the two swarms expanding to completely cover the U.S. Apparently, however, they will not move into Mexico or Canada. Senator Kickass quotes Revelations. Hey, I already told you -- wrong show!

Back in his interrogation, Peter reveals that while the Department of Defense knew about his work, he has no idea who else knew.

General Jackass gets up to leave the meeting, telling his aide to take notes. Just then, Moist Dan is introduced as the U.N.'s Agricultural Attaché. As Moist Dan begins to speak, General Jackass leans down behind Secretary Ramirez and whispers, "If I was Secretary of Agriculture and I didn't know about this research, I'd wonder how long I'd have my job." Moist Dan starts to tell the task force that if the locusts are not contained, not only will everyone in the U.S. starve, but everyone who depends on U.S. food supplies will starve as well. He suggests that they use a technique used to combat locusts in less-developed nations, which is to bring in the crops as soon as the locusts appear, so that some food can be preserved. So, they're going to get every farmer to harvest immediately, even if the crops aren't fully developed.

In Skinny's hospital room, Mrs. Axelrod is wiping her brow while the news shows a massive multi-car pileup caused by drivers panicking during a locust swarm. The reporter finishes her report by telling viewers, "Let's be careful out there."

Some sheep graze in a field. We get another bug's-eye view of the swarm descending on the field as the sheep try to run away. The locusts seem to be following them.

Back at the task force meeting, Secretary Morales tells the group that the locusts can be tracked by satellite while they're swarming. Xena calls them "formidable foes." Just then General Jackass reenters the room and tells them that the military will stop the bugs if the USDA can just tell them where the bugs will be in the morning. People pretty much shoot down that idea. Then the Homeland Security guy gets a phone call. After he hangs up, he tells the group, "The eastern swarm killed livestock." Xena thinks they've become carnivorous. Moist Dan points out that when locusts run out of food, they often turn to eating each other. He thinks that the hybrid locusts could turn to eating meat if they run out of other sources of protein. Senator Kickass says, "We're on the menu." General Jackass thinks they need to consider military options, and he (again) blames the USDA for creating the problem. Secretary Morales tells Xena, "I need to speak to you, outside."

Out in the hallway, Xena follows Morales. He turns around, and she's all nonchalant, as if to say, "Yeah, you needed something?" He threatens her with the ruin of her career if she can't find a way to solve the problem. Somehow, in the face of global apocalypse, I'm thinking that she's not too frightened by that threat. She tells him that she needs to speak to Peter, but he tells her that Peter is unavailable, "To all of us." He starts to walk away, and she grabs him, and then looks at her hands as if she can't believe she just did that. She asks where Peter is, but he won't tell her. Viv walks by at that exact moment, and Xena tells her to "talk to [her] friends in the Security Branch" to try to find Peter. The security branch of what? Please don't tell me that USDA has a security branch. As Viv walks away, Moist Dan emerges from the meeting and calls out to her, "Dr. [Xena]?" She addresses him as "Dr. [Moist Dan]." He compliments her performance in the meeting, and when she says that she needs to sit down, he asks if she's sick. She looks up at him and says, "No, I'm pregnant." Moist Dan gets even moister, as he gets a giddy grin on his face and tells her that she's radiant. The bigwigs choose that moment to walk out of the meeting, and Xena and Moist Dan act all official again. As she walks away, she grabs his hand and wishes him luck in Ohio.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP