MONDO EXTRAS

Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

Peter's not sure what his interrogators want from him, since they already have all of his records and lab results. The interrogator wants to know how to stop the bugs, but Peter's not sure how to do it without killing fifty percent of the population. At that moment, a guy in civilian clothes enters the room. I think it might be Moonsuit Guy, but I'm not positive. In any case, he thinks it might be possible to stop the locusts while only killing ten percent of the population. Commercials.

We return from the break with the a monitor showing where the locusts currently are. Most of California and Nevada seem to be covered. On the east coast, there's a broad swath from North Carolina through western New York covered in bugs, although they don't seem to have spread into Ohio. Oh, I'm wrong -- Wyatt, on a little picture-in-picture video chat, tells Xena that the locusts have just started moving into Ohio. Viv enters the room and pulls Xena aside to tell her that Peter is being held at Fort Douglas. Xena identifies that as a "bioweapons facility." Xena walks out, with Viv at her heels.

Over at Fort Douglas, Maybe Moonsuit Guy is showing Peter what he thinks is the only option for killing the bugs. It's VX nerve gas. Well, woo hoo! In a closed tank (you know, with the little glove inserts for sticking your hands in), he sprays some of the deadly poison onto a locust, and it dies instantly. Peter's not so sure that spraying deadly nerve gas around the countryside is such a good idea, but Maybe Moonsuit Guy tells him to shove a sock in it.

Neon type notifies us of our arrival at the early harvest in Hillsborough, Ohio. Moist Dan is in the middle of a field with a farmer, looking at a satellite image of the locusts on his PlayStation Portable. He tells the farmer to tell "everyone" that they'll have to work all night to get the harvest in on time. Perhaps if they had more than three people to do the work it might go faster. Moist Dan's phone rings -- it's Xena. He answers the phone by asking how she's feeling. Which, no. She's barely pregnant. Stop treating her like an invalid. They chat about the locusts, but the real meat of the conversation comes when Moist Dan tells her that he's going to move back home. She resembles the Xena that I know and love when she tells him, "[Moist] Dan, don't move home because I'm pregnant. Move home because you want to be with me." Go Xena! Choose yourself! And Moist Dan has to decide if he actually wants to be with Xena. Idiot. And that ends the call.

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Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

Peter's not sure what his interrogators want from him, since they already have all of his records and lab results. The interrogator wants to know how to stop the bugs, but Peter's not sure how to do it without killing fifty percent of the population. At that moment, a guy in civilian clothes enters the room. I think it might be Moonsuit Guy, but I'm not positive. In any case, he thinks it might be possible to stop the locusts while only killing ten percent of the population. Commercials.

We return from the break with the a monitor showing where the locusts currently are. Most of California and Nevada seem to be covered. On the east coast, there's a broad swath from North Carolina through western New York covered in bugs, although they don't seem to have spread into Ohio. Oh, I'm wrong -- Wyatt, on a little picture-in-picture video chat, tells Xena that the locusts have just started moving into Ohio. Viv enters the room and pulls Xena aside to tell her that Peter is being held at Fort Douglas. Xena identifies that as a "bioweapons facility." Xena walks out, with Viv at her heels.

Over at Fort Douglas, Maybe Moonsuit Guy is showing Peter what he thinks is the only option for killing the bugs. It's VX nerve gas. Well, woo hoo! In a closed tank (you know, with the little glove inserts for sticking your hands in), he sprays some of the deadly poison onto a locust, and it dies instantly. Peter's not so sure that spraying deadly nerve gas around the countryside is such a good idea, but Maybe Moonsuit Guy tells him to shove a sock in it.

Neon type notifies us of our arrival at the early harvest in Hillsborough, Ohio. Moist Dan is in the middle of a field with a farmer, looking at a satellite image of the locusts on his PlayStation Portable. He tells the farmer to tell "everyone" that they'll have to work all night to get the harvest in on time. Perhaps if they had more than three people to do the work it might go faster. Moist Dan's phone rings -- it's Xena. He answers the phone by asking how she's feeling. Which, no. She's barely pregnant. Stop treating her like an invalid. They chat about the locusts, but the real meat of the conversation comes when Moist Dan tells her that he's going to move back home. She resembles the Xena that I know and love when she tells him, "[Moist] Dan, don't move home because I'm pregnant. Move home because you want to be with me." Go Xena! Choose yourself! And Moist Dan has to decide if he actually wants to be with Xena. Idiot. And that ends the call.

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