MONDO EXTRAS

Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

Neon type welcomes us back to Napa Valley. Xena picks up a dead locust and puts it into a biohazard bag. We're at the vineyard we saw earlier, but all of the vines are completely stripped. (However, the locusts didn't seem to touch the grass. Picky little bastards.) In addition to eating all the vines, the locusts also apparently started some campfires so they could make some s'mores, because there are little smoky piles all over the place. Viv is talking to some anonymous woman, who gives a broad smile before walking away. I guess she gets off on agricultural tragedy.

And now we're at the U.N. Field Office in Washington, D.C. Moist Dan is in his office when he receives a "locust infestation advisory" via email. AAAAUGH! There's a big picture of a locust attached to the email.

Back among the grapes of wrath, Viv asks Xena if there's a connection between the locust outbreaks on the east and west coasts. Xena thinks it's unusual but not impossible to have two outbreaks at the same time. Her phone rings. It's Moist Dan, calling to ask her if she's seen the locust infestation advisory. Not only did she see it, she's the one who had it sent out. She tells him that she thinks it's just a couple of localized event, and then backstories that as a kid in Indiana, her family lost a crop to locusts. He starts to apologize for yelling at her that morning, but Viv chooses that moment to run up to Xena, all breathless, telling her she has to take a call. And then Viv loses all ability to speak English, as she tells Xena that it's "the Sec'atary o' Ag'icultuh." And again, since they all work for the Secretary of Agriculture, wouldn't she just say that it's a call from "the Secretary"? Or better yet, "Secretary Morales"? Xena ends the call with Moist Dan so that she can speak o the Sec'atary. And when she answers the phone, she says, "Hello, Secretary." Why do I let these things get to me?

Skinny is in a hospital bed, unconscious, with an oxygen mask over her face. Mrs. Axelrod is wiping her brow. Peter is in the hallway, talking on his cell phone to someone named Wyatt about weather predictions. Hello! No cell phones in the hospital! It's bad enough that he unleashes insect Armageddon -- now he's got to ruin some guy's pacemaker? (Or whatever cell phones do in hospitals.) Mrs. Axelrod gives him a look, as if to say, "Hey, jackass, get off the phone and come help me. Brow-wiping is hard work."

AAAAAUGH! Bug mouth! More close-ups of bugs eating greenery.

Neon type tells us that we've left Napa Valley and are now in Central Valley, California. In the Mystery Machine, Xena asks Viv to run down the protocols for combating locusts. It basically involves lots of deadly chemicals. In some cases, smoke and fire are used. (To kill the locusts, or just to scare them away? They don't say.) Xena tells Unnamed Scooby #1 to issue an advisory throughout the Central Valley, telling people to have the correct deadly chemicals available and to barn their livestock. And then Xena gets on the phone to call Wyatt herself. He apparently works at the U.S. Weather Service in Oklahoma. She wants him to help figure out where the east coast swarm might be moving, based on weather patterns. After some jibber-jabber, he tells her that he thinks they're likely to move towards the Great Lakes, probably hitting Pittsburgh or Cleveland along the way. He also tells her that he told the same thing to Peter. Xena looks perturbed. She hangs up and calls out for Viv, asking her to try to get Peter on the phone.

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Spring Break Bug Attack

by LTG May 4, 2005
Locusts

Neon type welcomes us back to Napa Valley. Xena picks up a dead locust and puts it into a biohazard bag. We're at the vineyard we saw earlier, but all of the vines are completely stripped. (However, the locusts didn't seem to touch the grass. Picky little bastards.) In addition to eating all the vines, the locusts also apparently started some campfires so they could make some s'mores, because there are little smoky piles all over the place. Viv is talking to some anonymous woman, who gives a broad smile before walking away. I guess she gets off on agricultural tragedy.

And now we're at the U.N. Field Office in Washington, D.C. Moist Dan is in his office when he receives a "locust infestation advisory" via email. AAAAUGH! There's a big picture of a locust attached to the email.

Back among the grapes of wrath, Viv asks Xena if there's a connection between the locust outbreaks on the east and west coasts. Xena thinks it's unusual but not impossible to have two outbreaks at the same time. Her phone rings. It's Moist Dan, calling to ask her if she's seen the locust infestation advisory. Not only did she see it, she's the one who had it sent out. She tells him that she thinks it's just a couple of localized event, and then backstories that as a kid in Indiana, her family lost a crop to locusts. He starts to apologize for yelling at her that morning, but Viv chooses that moment to run up to Xena, all breathless, telling her she has to take a call. And then Viv loses all ability to speak English, as she tells Xena that it's "the Sec'atary o' Ag'icultuh." And again, since they all work for the Secretary of Agriculture, wouldn't she just say that it's a call from "the Secretary"? Or better yet, "Secretary Morales"? Xena ends the call with Moist Dan so that she can speak o the Sec'atary. And when she answers the phone, she says, "Hello, Secretary." Why do I let these things get to me?

Skinny is in a hospital bed, unconscious, with an oxygen mask over her face. Mrs. Axelrod is wiping her brow. Peter is in the hallway, talking on his cell phone to someone named Wyatt about weather predictions. Hello! No cell phones in the hospital! It's bad enough that he unleashes insect Armageddon -- now he's got to ruin some guy's pacemaker? (Or whatever cell phones do in hospitals.) Mrs. Axelrod gives him a look, as if to say, "Hey, jackass, get off the phone and come help me. Brow-wiping is hard work."

AAAAAUGH! Bug mouth! More close-ups of bugs eating greenery.

Neon type tells us that we've left Napa Valley and are now in Central Valley, California. In the Mystery Machine, Xena asks Viv to run down the protocols for combating locusts. It basically involves lots of deadly chemicals. In some cases, smoke and fire are used. (To kill the locusts, or just to scare them away? They don't say.) Xena tells Unnamed Scooby #1 to issue an advisory throughout the Central Valley, telling people to have the correct deadly chemicals available and to barn their livestock. And then Xena gets on the phone to call Wyatt herself. He apparently works at the U.S. Weather Service in Oklahoma. She wants him to help figure out where the east coast swarm might be moving, based on weather patterns. After some jibber-jabber, he tells her that he thinks they're likely to move towards the Great Lakes, probably hitting Pittsburgh or Cleveland along the way. He also tells her that he told the same thing to Peter. Xena looks perturbed. She hangs up and calls out for Viv, asking her to try to get Peter on the phone.

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Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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