MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Artsy shot of the shuttle (which doesn't look damaged at all, now) in the background as cars arrive at one of the facilities. Clark and Lois emerge, in silhouette, from a van.

Inside, Dr. Coochiecoo, wearing a bizarre red floral blouse, tells Lois and Clark, in the most bored and faux-actressy voice possible, that everybody's naturally in a state of shock. That's a terrible place to be all the time: "Hey, how's it --" "AGGH!!" "No, sorry, man, I was just --" "WAAGGGGGHHH!" The worst actress ever in a pilot tells Lois and Clark that the captain on the shuttle was "one of our best." He wasn't an acting coach, I'll bet. Lois asks what's being done to investigate the explosion. Dr. Linereadings says that they won't know anything until they've examined the burnt wreckage. All this equipment and monitors and you can't tell anything that happened? The lady says they're moving the wreckage to a hangar right now. "Can we take a look at it?" Lois asks. Oh, sure, there's a whole press area for combing through the remains. Just take a number. "Sorry. No press allowed," Dr. Acting-for-non-majors says. "No exceptions?" Clark asks. The woman melts (though, sadly, not literally) and tells Clark she'll see what she can do. Clark smiles. Lois fumes. "Great," he says. Dr. Nowsellsrealestate smiles back. Lois asks about Dr. Platt. Dr. Castingcouch says she's got the guy's file there. They're in the habit of just giving out personnel files? She says that the doctor cracked under the strain of a divorce, and started drinking and taking drugs. She claims that Platt set fire to one of the laboratories, and that they had to terminate him. Lois asks about the report Dr. Platt said he filed. Dr. Method lies, badly, that she doesn't remember that. She offers to check her records. Lois gives the lady her card. The doc -- all sultry and only to Clark -- says that they can call if further assistance is needed. Clark beams. Dr. Thankgodthissceneisover does a little head bob and goes back to her "stage business." And by that I mean never acting in anything ever again. All right, all right. I just did a little online hunting. Dr. Hotpants is actually this actress. Interestingly, her husband was the casting director for The Tick series and the new Battlestar Galactica, so make of that what you will.

As he and Lois are free to walk on their own through the facilities without any supervision, Clark says that the lady was pretty cooperative. "I don't trust her," Lois says. "Very attractive," Clark says, unhelpfully. "Young for a woman in her position." And what position would that be, Clark? Lois rags on Clark for having a typical male response. He assures Lois that he is not a typical male. Lois says that just because the woman's cute doesn't mean she's telling the truth. Clark, who's wearing a strange purple tie, asks Lois whether she thinks everyone has an angle. My, my, my! All this talk about angles and positions is giving me the vapors! (It's a southern thing.) Clark calls Lois cynical. She prefers "realistic": "At least I don't go through life disappointed." Character development!

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That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Artsy shot of the shuttle (which doesn't look damaged at all, now) in the background as cars arrive at one of the facilities. Clark and Lois emerge, in silhouette, from a van.

Inside, Dr. Coochiecoo, wearing a bizarre red floral blouse, tells Lois and Clark, in the most bored and faux-actressy voice possible, that everybody's naturally in a state of shock. That's a terrible place to be all the time: "Hey, how's it --" "AGGH!!" "No, sorry, man, I was just --" "WAAGGGGGHHH!" The worst actress ever in a pilot tells Lois and Clark that the captain on the shuttle was "one of our best." He wasn't an acting coach, I'll bet. Lois asks what's being done to investigate the explosion. Dr. Linereadings says that they won't know anything until they've examined the burnt wreckage. All this equipment and monitors and you can't tell anything that happened? The lady says they're moving the wreckage to a hangar right now. "Can we take a look at it?" Lois asks. Oh, sure, there's a whole press area for combing through the remains. Just take a number. "Sorry. No press allowed," Dr. Acting-for-non-majors says. "No exceptions?" Clark asks. The woman melts (though, sadly, not literally) and tells Clark she'll see what she can do. Clark smiles. Lois fumes. "Great," he says. Dr. Nowsellsrealestate smiles back. Lois asks about Dr. Platt. Dr. Castingcouch says she's got the guy's file there. They're in the habit of just giving out personnel files? She says that the doctor cracked under the strain of a divorce, and started drinking and taking drugs. She claims that Platt set fire to one of the laboratories, and that they had to terminate him. Lois asks about the report Dr. Platt said he filed. Dr. Method lies, badly, that she doesn't remember that. She offers to check her records. Lois gives the lady her card. The doc -- all sultry and only to Clark -- says that they can call if further assistance is needed. Clark beams. Dr. Thankgodthissceneisover does a little head bob and goes back to her "stage business." And by that I mean never acting in anything ever again. All right, all right. I just did a little online hunting. Dr. Hotpants is actually this actress. Interestingly, her husband was the casting director for The Tick series and the new Battlestar Galactica, so make of that what you will.

As he and Lois are free to walk on their own through the facilities without any supervision, Clark says that the lady was pretty cooperative. "I don't trust her," Lois says. "Very attractive," Clark says, unhelpfully. "Young for a woman in her position." And what position would that be, Clark? Lois rags on Clark for having a typical male response. He assures Lois that he is not a typical male. Lois says that just because the woman's cute doesn't mean she's telling the truth. Clark, who's wearing a strange purple tie, asks Lois whether she thinks everyone has an angle. My, my, my! All this talk about angles and positions is giving me the vapors! (It's a southern thing.) Clark calls Lois cynical. She prefers "realistic": "At least I don't go through life disappointed." Character development!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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