MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Lois goes into a darkened den of mahogany which, minus some stained glass, does not look completely different from the Lair of Lex on Smallville. Clark follows Lois in and asks what she's doing. Lois: "Being a reporter. You should try it sometime." I just noticed that her dress has hugely poofy elbows. Lightning continues to go along with thunder as there's no rain, yet this storm system never moves. Clark tries to stop Lois, but she suggests that he snoop around. Clark walks over toward Lex's desk, which looks like it's been used recently, judging by the light that's on and the open, marked book. Clark walks by a large statue that's wielding a sword. It's next to a display case containing another statue and various antique-looking weapons, mostly swords and old guns. Clark turns, as lightning flashes, to find someone pointing a dagger at his neck. Is this a dagger I see before me? You know, a Nigerian prince pointed a sword at me once and it was totally dangerous. What, that didn't impress you? Lex, looking for all the world like a constipated duck, doesn't look menacing at all, sadly. Clark looks down at the weapon. "Macedonian," Clark says. Oh, geez. I don't know what's worse: a dumb Clark Kent or a Clark Kent who can't shut up about how smart he is. Lex says it belonged to Alexander the Great, this short sword. It's got a +3 to defend, but only Paladins and Warriors can use it. My cousin totally enchanted it. Still holding the sword out toward Clark, Lex says that Alexander was a brilliant tactician who always urged taking the high ground. Yep, that's what doomed Anakin and turned him into a crispy tater tot. Lex hands the sword to Clark and starts to tell him where it came from, but Clark concludes that it had something to do with King Darius Rucker when he was proclaimed King of the Blowfish. "You surprise me, Mr. Kent," Lex says, and it's a tiny bit sexy. "I'm not often surprised," Lex adds, giving Clark the gay-stare. Clark smirks right back as he's flashed by lightning. Could we just please stop that shit, already? Lois comes in and tells Lex that he has a beautiful home. Well, his home is his castle. Lex asks if Lois wants to see the view. Third-wheel Clark smirks and follows them out to the balcony. Oh, there's the rain. Lex waves a hand to the cityscape and says that this is the tallest building in Metropolis: "I must confess that I love the fact that everyone in the city has to look up in order to see me." Here, I am free to wallow in my own crapulence! Lois and Clark react not at all. Lex suggests that they get back to the party, and says he has an announcement that'll interest them. Ooh, is it warm cookies?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

Comments

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Lois goes into a darkened den of mahogany which, minus some stained glass, does not look completely different from the Lair of Lex on Smallville. Clark follows Lois in and asks what she's doing. Lois: "Being a reporter. You should try it sometime." I just noticed that her dress has hugely poofy elbows. Lightning continues to go along with thunder as there's no rain, yet this storm system never moves. Clark tries to stop Lois, but she suggests that he snoop around. Clark walks over toward Lex's desk, which looks like it's been used recently, judging by the light that's on and the open, marked book. Clark walks by a large statue that's wielding a sword. It's next to a display case containing another statue and various antique-looking weapons, mostly swords and old guns. Clark turns, as lightning flashes, to find someone pointing a dagger at his neck. Is this a dagger I see before me? You know, a Nigerian prince pointed a sword at me once and it was totally dangerous. What, that didn't impress you? Lex, looking for all the world like a constipated duck, doesn't look menacing at all, sadly. Clark looks down at the weapon. "Macedonian," Clark says. Oh, geez. I don't know what's worse: a dumb Clark Kent or a Clark Kent who can't shut up about how smart he is. Lex says it belonged to Alexander the Great, this short sword. It's got a +3 to defend, but only Paladins and Warriors can use it. My cousin totally enchanted it. Still holding the sword out toward Clark, Lex says that Alexander was a brilliant tactician who always urged taking the high ground. Yep, that's what doomed Anakin and turned him into a crispy tater tot. Lex hands the sword to Clark and starts to tell him where it came from, but Clark concludes that it had something to do with King Darius Rucker when he was proclaimed King of the Blowfish. "You surprise me, Mr. Kent," Lex says, and it's a tiny bit sexy. "I'm not often surprised," Lex adds, giving Clark the gay-stare. Clark smirks right back as he's flashed by lightning. Could we just please stop that shit, already? Lois comes in and tells Lex that he has a beautiful home. Well, his home is his castle. Lex asks if Lois wants to see the view. Third-wheel Clark smirks and follows them out to the balcony. Oh, there's the rain. Lex waves a hand to the cityscape and says that this is the tallest building in Metropolis: "I must confess that I love the fact that everyone in the city has to look up in order to see me." Here, I am free to wallow in my own crapulence! Lois and Clark react not at all. Lex suggests that they get back to the party, and says he has an announcement that'll interest them. Ooh, is it warm cookies?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP