MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Police procedural. Lois is telling a detective that calling this a suicide is ridiculous. The cop tells her that Platt has tried it before. Lois tries to explain to the officer that they were about to prove that his wild conspiracy theory was true. The cop isn't convinced. A lug of a cop walks by saying that if a man's going to barbecue himself, he ought to use sauce. Ew. Clark lectures the cop on how Platt was a brilliant man who cared about others and how that kind of humor is inappropriate. Geez, Clark. Guess you never watched much Law & Order. The cop shrugs and apologizes. Lois, who saw the whole thing, goes to Clark. He's sad that they didn't prevent this, and says they should have protected Platt. Lois suggests that they prove Platt right. She tells Clark to go get some sleep. She'll pick him up around 9. The gritty police drama scene feels pretty out of place in this show.

Clark's apartment. This one goes out to the ladies (and, er, the gays). Clark's in a little bath towel, shirtless, talking to his parents on the pay phone about Platt, but Pa Kent changes the subject to the explosion in the manhole. They're worried about the guy who recognized Clark. Pa worries that some nut with a video camera is going to catch one of Clark's stunts. Ultimate reality show! MamaKent, holding her huge '90s cordless phone, asks if Pa thinks Clark should have just let the guy die. She asks how Clark's clothes are holding up. "Don't change the damn subject," Pa grouses. Firecrackers! Clark says he's got a crazy idea that just might work. He asks Ma how her sewing machine is doing. "I think I need some kind of outfit," says wet Clark. Pa Kent knew this day would come. He just figured Clark would break the news by getting a part in a Broadway show. Clark says he needs a disguise for when things like the manhole incident happen. There's a knock at the door. Clark tells them that Lois has arrived. "Oh. Lois again," MamaKent says, smiling and giving Pa Kent a poke. Clark hangs up the phone, puts on his glasses, and goes to the door. Lois stares at Clark's chest, mouth agape. "I said 9. I thought you'd be naked." Ha! "Ready," she corrects herself. Clark says he'll be out in a jiff. He goes to change while Lois has to take off her coat because of her sudden burning thigh sweats. She looks in Clark's pantry. It's full of cookies and peanut butter. She goes to get a drink from the fridge and it's full of sodas, donuts, and orange juice. Ancient Krypton Secret, huh? Clark emerges, fully dressed in a suit after what was less than ten seconds. He and Lois both regard each other in surprise. "We'd better be going," Lois says finally, instead of asking how he did that so fast. Before they go, Lois asks how Clark looks like "Mr. Hardbody" while eating like an eight-year-old. (Have you ever seen that little muscular eight-year-old who bodybuilds? Creepy.) Lois asks Clark's secret. Clark just stares. She leaves without an answer.

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That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Police procedural. Lois is telling a detective that calling this a suicide is ridiculous. The cop tells her that Platt has tried it before. Lois tries to explain to the officer that they were about to prove that his wild conspiracy theory was true. The cop isn't convinced. A lug of a cop walks by saying that if a man's going to barbecue himself, he ought to use sauce. Ew. Clark lectures the cop on how Platt was a brilliant man who cared about others and how that kind of humor is inappropriate. Geez, Clark. Guess you never watched much Law & Order. The cop shrugs and apologizes. Lois, who saw the whole thing, goes to Clark. He's sad that they didn't prevent this, and says they should have protected Platt. Lois suggests that they prove Platt right. She tells Clark to go get some sleep. She'll pick him up around 9. The gritty police drama scene feels pretty out of place in this show.

Clark's apartment. This one goes out to the ladies (and, er, the gays). Clark's in a little bath towel, shirtless, talking to his parents on the pay phone about Platt, but Pa Kent changes the subject to the explosion in the manhole. They're worried about the guy who recognized Clark. Pa worries that some nut with a video camera is going to catch one of Clark's stunts. Ultimate reality show! MamaKent, holding her huge '90s cordless phone, asks if Pa thinks Clark should have just let the guy die. She asks how Clark's clothes are holding up. "Don't change the damn subject," Pa grouses. Firecrackers! Clark says he's got a crazy idea that just might work. He asks Ma how her sewing machine is doing. "I think I need some kind of outfit," says wet Clark. Pa Kent knew this day would come. He just figured Clark would break the news by getting a part in a Broadway show. Clark says he needs a disguise for when things like the manhole incident happen. There's a knock at the door. Clark tells them that Lois has arrived. "Oh. Lois again," MamaKent says, smiling and giving Pa Kent a poke. Clark hangs up the phone, puts on his glasses, and goes to the door. Lois stares at Clark's chest, mouth agape. "I said 9. I thought you'd be naked." Ha! "Ready," she corrects herself. Clark says he'll be out in a jiff. He goes to change while Lois has to take off her coat because of her sudden burning thigh sweats. She looks in Clark's pantry. It's full of cookies and peanut butter. She goes to get a drink from the fridge and it's full of sodas, donuts, and orange juice. Ancient Krypton Secret, huh? Clark emerges, fully dressed in a suit after what was less than ten seconds. He and Lois both regard each other in surprise. "We'd better be going," Lois says finally, instead of asking how he did that so fast. Before they go, Lois asks how Clark looks like "Mr. Hardbody" while eating like an eight-year-old. (Have you ever seen that little muscular eight-year-old who bodybuilds? Creepy.) Lois asks Clark's secret. Clark just stares. She leaves without an answer.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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