MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

A side wipe takes us back to the dark end of the hangar. Clark shows up, still in his suit. He can hear Lois inside telling someone that they'll never get away with this. Clark lowers his glasses and uses x-ray vision, only it's more like Powerpoint transition vision in that it just gracefully fades the wall so that he can see the thug tying Lois to a post while she blabbers that everybody knows where she is. Where's Jimmy? Clark lunges for the locked door, but the way it's edited, on one side, he's slamming into a door that's not moving, but in the next shot the door is just sailing away. SFX magic! The doctor, hilariously, looks in the opposite direction of where the door is flying. "Let her go!" Clark says. The thug points his very fake-looking Uzi at Clark. Why didn't he bust out the Uzi when he was sneaking up on Lois instead of using his little 3-inch pocketknife? "Put down those guns or I'll..." Clark begins, but realizes he has nowhere to go with that. Crap. Where's your Paava leaves now, Clark? "Or you'll what?" asks Dr. K.Y. Jealous. Lois rolls her eyes and scoffs. Clark shrugs. "Nuthin'," he says. Ha.

Cut to Clark, tied up right behind Lois against the same pole. Lois is complaining that she asked Perry for a task force, but got a bunch of amateurs instead. She whines about Clark barging in like a five-hundred-pound gorilla. Lois asks why Clark didn't bring the police, and says he's just like every other guy in Metropolis, thinking he can do it all himself. If Clark wasn't chained down, I'd suggest he run. Hell, fly away. Lois wonders why they haven't been killed already. Clark casually breaks the padlock holding his chains together. Lois concludes that Clark messed everything up. Clark tells her to hold on, and reminds her that she's the dumb-ass who snuck in here.

Lois starts to defend herself, but stops midstream when she realizes she was kind of an idiot coming there unarmed. She starts to get teary-eyed. She says that she sometimes jumps in without checking the water level. Lois, feeling sorry for herself now, says it's the only way she knows how to get the respect she deserves. Lois tells Clark that she's broken every one of the three rules she told Clark about earlier. She always gets involved with her stories, she says. "You slept with someone at work?" Clark asks, skipping past Rule No. 2. "Yeah," Lois sighs. "It wasn't Jimmy, was it?" Clark asks, a little skeeved out. Lois tells Clark not to be ridiculous. She says it was a long time ago when she first started at the newspaper. Four years ago, at the most? "Claude," she tells Clark. "He was French," she says. Noooo, really? Lois tells Clark that, one night, she told Claude about a story of hers; the next morning, Claude was gone and so was the story. She says he won an award and didn't even thank her for her "input." Maybe he was more grateful for her outputting. Clark tries to drop some wisdom on Lois, saying that no matter how smart you are or how many rules you have, that when you fall in love you're still vulnerable. He learned that from a tribe in New Whogivesafuckland. "We're only human," Lois moans. Clark cocks his head, like, "Eh, not so much."

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That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

A side wipe takes us back to the dark end of the hangar. Clark shows up, still in his suit. He can hear Lois inside telling someone that they'll never get away with this. Clark lowers his glasses and uses x-ray vision, only it's more like Powerpoint transition vision in that it just gracefully fades the wall so that he can see the thug tying Lois to a post while she blabbers that everybody knows where she is. Where's Jimmy? Clark lunges for the locked door, but the way it's edited, on one side, he's slamming into a door that's not moving, but in the next shot the door is just sailing away. SFX magic! The doctor, hilariously, looks in the opposite direction of where the door is flying. "Let her go!" Clark says. The thug points his very fake-looking Uzi at Clark. Why didn't he bust out the Uzi when he was sneaking up on Lois instead of using his little 3-inch pocketknife? "Put down those guns or I'll..." Clark begins, but realizes he has nowhere to go with that. Crap. Where's your Paava leaves now, Clark? "Or you'll what?" asks Dr. K.Y. Jealous. Lois rolls her eyes and scoffs. Clark shrugs. "Nuthin'," he says. Ha.

Cut to Clark, tied up right behind Lois against the same pole. Lois is complaining that she asked Perry for a task force, but got a bunch of amateurs instead. She whines about Clark barging in like a five-hundred-pound gorilla. Lois asks why Clark didn't bring the police, and says he's just like every other guy in Metropolis, thinking he can do it all himself. If Clark wasn't chained down, I'd suggest he run. Hell, fly away. Lois wonders why they haven't been killed already. Clark casually breaks the padlock holding his chains together. Lois concludes that Clark messed everything up. Clark tells her to hold on, and reminds her that she's the dumb-ass who snuck in here.

Lois starts to defend herself, but stops midstream when she realizes she was kind of an idiot coming there unarmed. She starts to get teary-eyed. She says that she sometimes jumps in without checking the water level. Lois, feeling sorry for herself now, says it's the only way she knows how to get the respect she deserves. Lois tells Clark that she's broken every one of the three rules she told Clark about earlier. She always gets involved with her stories, she says. "You slept with someone at work?" Clark asks, skipping past Rule No. 2. "Yeah," Lois sighs. "It wasn't Jimmy, was it?" Clark asks, a little skeeved out. Lois tells Clark not to be ridiculous. She says it was a long time ago when she first started at the newspaper. Four years ago, at the most? "Claude," she tells Clark. "He was French," she says. Noooo, really? Lois tells Clark that, one night, she told Claude about a story of hers; the next morning, Claude was gone and so was the story. She says he won an award and didn't even thank her for her "input." Maybe he was more grateful for her outputting. Clark tries to drop some wisdom on Lois, saying that no matter how smart you are or how many rules you have, that when you fall in love you're still vulnerable. He learned that from a tribe in New Whogivesafuckland. "We're only human," Lois moans. Clark cocks his head, like, "Eh, not so much."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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Get the most of your experience.
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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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