MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Cut to a full toe-to-head shot of Clark in costume with the red lace-up boots, yellow belt, and sewed-on crest. He's still got his glasses on. "Your folks would be proud of you," she tells him. "We sure are." Clark's folks would be like, "Yeah, we didn't mean for him to wear the goddamn crest. We made it suitable for framing. For, like, his den or his office when he becomes the world's greatest doctor. We didn't mean for him to prance around in tights like he's in goddamn Cats, lady. You know, we hate Andrew Lloyd Webber up on this planet. He's partly why our civilization crumbled. Jesus, lady, you just made us regret ever blowing ourselves up. more so." MamaKent couldn't be prouder of her regrettable creation. Clark says he's not so sure about the cape. He swishes around with it a bit. MamaKent says she loves it: "It'll be great when you're flying!" Right into a jet turbine. Clark takes off his glasses as the incidental music swells. "Yes," Clark thinks, "I could really get used to freeballin'." Pa Kent calls from the other room that the shuttle is about to go up.

14:20 until launch, the TV says, as passengers board the vessel. That's cutting boarding time a bit close, isn't it? Pa Kent doesn't even notice what his son's wearing. Platt's wife walks into the shuttle as her daughter is carried by someone else. "Historic occasion," says Pa Kent. Pa asks if Clark remembers when they watched the first moon landing together. Whoa, how old is Clark on this show? Close to thirty, I guess. Pa turns around and stares at his son. Oh, dear lord. "What do you think?" Clark asks. Pa chuckles. "That's my boy!" he laughs. Tell us what you really think. "Oh that's right!" MamaKent suddenly says. He's a boy! She asks what happens if Clark is recognized. "I don't think they will, Mom, because it won't be me," Clark says. Huh? He puts on his glasses, the swoops them off. See? Brilliant! "Yeah," MamaKent agrees. Pa Kent is suddenly regretting spending his life in a house full of crazy people.

Shuttle site. Passengers wearing ugly beige jumpsuits are boarding. Lois, her hair pulled back, is one of them. She hands her ticket to a security guy. Wow, dig those octagon doors. Lois closes one of those heavy "metal" doors.

There's only a minute left until launch. "Almost ready to go," Pa Kent says. Lois, in the ship, tries to strap herself into a fold-out seat. They each get their own room? Lois sees a device clumsily tacked on the wall, in plain sight, counting down. Oh, Lex Luthor, you incompetent fool. There's 120 seconds left on the obvious bomb clock. Lois unstraps herself and walks to the bomb. It's audibly ticking! Where did Lex get this bomb, at Wal-Mart? "It's a bomb!" Lois says. Ya think? "Someone help! There's a bomb!" she cries, opening the "metal" door and running out into the hallway. The ship starts to rumble, so nobody hears her. Tick, tick, tick. Fifty-six seconds left. Lois tries to pull the bomb off the wall. She opens a panel and sees a bunch of wires strapped together. Lois finds a pair of wirecutters just sitting on a table, loose. Smooth. She cuts a big wire and sends sparks flying.

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That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Cut to a full toe-to-head shot of Clark in costume with the red lace-up boots, yellow belt, and sewed-on crest. He's still got his glasses on. "Your folks would be proud of you," she tells him. "We sure are." Clark's folks would be like, "Yeah, we didn't mean for him to wear the goddamn crest. We made it suitable for framing. For, like, his den or his office when he becomes the world's greatest doctor. We didn't mean for him to prance around in tights like he's in goddamn Cats, lady. You know, we hate Andrew Lloyd Webber up on this planet. He's partly why our civilization crumbled. Jesus, lady, you just made us regret ever blowing ourselves up. more so." MamaKent couldn't be prouder of her regrettable creation. Clark says he's not so sure about the cape. He swishes around with it a bit. MamaKent says she loves it: "It'll be great when you're flying!" Right into a jet turbine. Clark takes off his glasses as the incidental music swells. "Yes," Clark thinks, "I could really get used to freeballin'." Pa Kent calls from the other room that the shuttle is about to go up.

14:20 until launch, the TV says, as passengers board the vessel. That's cutting boarding time a bit close, isn't it? Pa Kent doesn't even notice what his son's wearing. Platt's wife walks into the shuttle as her daughter is carried by someone else. "Historic occasion," says Pa Kent. Pa asks if Clark remembers when they watched the first moon landing together. Whoa, how old is Clark on this show? Close to thirty, I guess. Pa turns around and stares at his son. Oh, dear lord. "What do you think?" Clark asks. Pa chuckles. "That's my boy!" he laughs. Tell us what you really think. "Oh that's right!" MamaKent suddenly says. He's a boy! She asks what happens if Clark is recognized. "I don't think they will, Mom, because it won't be me," Clark says. Huh? He puts on his glasses, the swoops them off. See? Brilliant! "Yeah," MamaKent agrees. Pa Kent is suddenly regretting spending his life in a house full of crazy people.

Shuttle site. Passengers wearing ugly beige jumpsuits are boarding. Lois, her hair pulled back, is one of them. She hands her ticket to a security guy. Wow, dig those octagon doors. Lois closes one of those heavy "metal" doors.

There's only a minute left until launch. "Almost ready to go," Pa Kent says. Lois, in the ship, tries to strap herself into a fold-out seat. They each get their own room? Lois sees a device clumsily tacked on the wall, in plain sight, counting down. Oh, Lex Luthor, you incompetent fool. There's 120 seconds left on the obvious bomb clock. Lois unstraps herself and walks to the bomb. It's audibly ticking! Where did Lex get this bomb, at Wal-Mart? "It's a bomb!" Lois says. Ya think? "Someone help! There's a bomb!" she cries, opening the "metal" door and running out into the hallway. The ship starts to rumble, so nobody hears her. Tick, tick, tick. Fifty-six seconds left. Lois tries to pull the bomb off the wall. She opens a panel and sees a bunch of wires strapped together. Lois finds a pair of wirecutters just sitting on a table, loose. Smooth. She cuts a big wire and sends sparks flying.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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