MONDO EXTRAS

That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Lois strides through the newsroom, collecting Clark as she goes. She tells him that they're going to crazy Dr. Platt's house. She tries to set Clark straight on a few things: she didn't "work her buns off" to babysit a "hack from nowheresville," and Clark is working for her, not with her. "You are low man," she says, "I am top banana because that's the way I like it. Comprende?" This is gonna be such fun. You should have stayed in Bali, Clark. "You like to be on top. Got it," Clark says. Whoa! You are so fired, Kent. Lois makes an ugly face and menacingly says, "Don't push me, Kent, you are way out of your league." The two of them get into an elevator surrounded by what look like extras from Newsies all grown up. Neat. Clark smiles goofily, so proud of himself for sexually harassing someone before 11 AM.

City block. Clark and Lois arrive at a run-down area, where the front door of a building has yellow tape across it. They go in through an unlocked door; a rat scurries along the floor in front of them. There's a door that reads, "Do Not Enter." Lois goes to it and knocks, calling for Dr. Platt. Platt opens the door. He's wearing a warm, heavy scarf and a little visor hat, and is wielding a crowbar. Gordon Freeman's father! Platt lets Clark and Lois in.

Platt apparently lives in Robin Williams's old apartment from The Fisher King. Crazy papers and books are lined everywhere. He tells them he's been acting strange since he was drugged. Lois asks him how the shuttle could have been sabotaged unless it was ordered from an upper-level person. Platt blah-blahs about particles and heating devices. He says that when he broke into an off-limits lab, he found that the heating devices for the shuttle had been replaced by cooling systems. "To freeze the ion particles?" Clark asks. Look at you, Clark. All smart. Will you come be on my show? Platt says that's why the shuttle blew up: "It's all in my report!" This guy would have loved the internet. He gave the report to Dr. Sluttytatters. Lois asks if he has an extra copy of it. He does the wacky scientist thing, rummaging around everywhere for pages spread throughout the room. Lois suggests sending someone later to grab a copy of the report. Lois notices some photos of the doctor and his wife and daughter. He says that they planned to live together on the space station. His family left him, but it's all for the best. Science! Lois asks who'd want to sabotage the space station. Platt gushes about the space station being the place where hundreds of diseases could be cured. I guess hanging out in a vacuum would definitely make you less likely to catch a cold. In zero-G, Platt says, you can separate proteins from viruses. Also, you can take out the shake part from protein shakes. Jelly from PB&J! Chocolate from a Reese's cup! Mac from mac & cheese! Brilliant! Platt whines about children with crippling diseases. "My daughter," he whispers dramatically. Oh, here we go. "We could cure them," he cries, softly. In the deep darkness of space, no one can hear you overemote. Lois, clearly moved, tells Clark they should go visit Dr. Vaginasmile.

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That Title Is "Lois," Then "Clark"

by Omar G November 7, 2005
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Pilot

Lois strides through the newsroom, collecting Clark as she goes. She tells him that they're going to crazy Dr. Platt's house. She tries to set Clark straight on a few things: she didn't "work her buns off" to babysit a "hack from nowheresville," and Clark is working for her, not with her. "You are low man," she says, "I am top banana because that's the way I like it. Comprende?" This is gonna be such fun. You should have stayed in Bali, Clark. "You like to be on top. Got it," Clark says. Whoa! You are so fired, Kent. Lois makes an ugly face and menacingly says, "Don't push me, Kent, you are way out of your league." The two of them get into an elevator surrounded by what look like extras from Newsies all grown up. Neat. Clark smiles goofily, so proud of himself for sexually harassing someone before 11 AM.

City block. Clark and Lois arrive at a run-down area, where the front door of a building has yellow tape across it. They go in through an unlocked door; a rat scurries along the floor in front of them. There's a door that reads, "Do Not Enter." Lois goes to it and knocks, calling for Dr. Platt. Platt opens the door. He's wearing a warm, heavy scarf and a little visor hat, and is wielding a crowbar. Gordon Freeman's father! Platt lets Clark and Lois in.

Platt apparently lives in Robin Williams's old apartment from The Fisher King. Crazy papers and books are lined everywhere. He tells them he's been acting strange since he was drugged. Lois asks him how the shuttle could have been sabotaged unless it was ordered from an upper-level person. Platt blah-blahs about particles and heating devices. He says that when he broke into an off-limits lab, he found that the heating devices for the shuttle had been replaced by cooling systems. "To freeze the ion particles?" Clark asks. Look at you, Clark. All smart. Will you come be on my show? Platt says that's why the shuttle blew up: "It's all in my report!" This guy would have loved the internet. He gave the report to Dr. Sluttytatters. Lois asks if he has an extra copy of it. He does the wacky scientist thing, rummaging around everywhere for pages spread throughout the room. Lois suggests sending someone later to grab a copy of the report. Lois notices some photos of the doctor and his wife and daughter. He says that they planned to live together on the space station. His family left him, but it's all for the best. Science! Lois asks who'd want to sabotage the space station. Platt gushes about the space station being the place where hundreds of diseases could be cured. I guess hanging out in a vacuum would definitely make you less likely to catch a cold. In zero-G, Platt says, you can separate proteins from viruses. Also, you can take out the shake part from protein shakes. Jelly from PB&J! Chocolate from a Reese's cup! Mac from mac & cheese! Brilliant! Platt whines about children with crippling diseases. "My daughter," he whispers dramatically. Oh, here we go. "We could cure them," he cries, softly. In the deep darkness of space, no one can hear you overemote. Lois, clearly moved, tells Clark they should go visit Dr. Vaginasmile.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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SHARE THE SNARK

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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