MONDO EXTRAS

Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

"Please don't yell at me." Grow up. Ziggy apologizes because he's Howard K. Stern and he knows it. "I trust my talent, Ziggy." And Ziggy just crawls right back up there, all, "We all worship at the feet of your talent," but he can't be like everybody else and tell Michael what he wants to hear. I'm so sure. "Sometimes truth is a bitch, and the bitch hurts." WHAT THE FUCK? Michael looks off poetically as Ziggy explains that he's been looking out for Michael since he was little and molesting people his own age. "And you did a great job," says Michael, all calm, and it's very Sopranos because Ziggy's time? Is up.

So's Michael, up. IN a tree. Rock on. He tells Bobby they're going to have to fire Ziggy because he "doesn't believe anymore," but more like an offer Ziggy can't refuse. Bobby's like, the hell? But Michael-in-a-tree is all, I don't care, he has to believe. Or else. First your family, then the witnesses, now Ziggy...where does it end? "Maybe I'm next," says Bobby. Dumbly, because that's total evidence of not believing in stupid magic and whatnot. "Bobby, don't be silly." If there's a word that I hate thanks to this movie, it's silly. It's mostly because of the overuse, but also the Jack-on-Will & Grace-ness of the word. "You know how important you are to me." This is a pretty serious scene, considering he's TOTALLY IN A TREE THE WHOLE TIME. Bobby talks like it's normal to have this conversation with a guy in a tree.

Shots of all of Manny's bedroom posters of Michael Jackson everywhere. Michael comes into his bedroom all creepy-sneakily, and then does a little Chaplin routine. He's on the way to the airport to start his tour, but first he needs to tell Manny the "coolest secret ever." And what is it? That's Michael's pushing forty at this point and still is responsible for nothing and has more money than anybody ever? "I met Steven Spielberg!" Cool. He's nice, I guess. He allows James Cameron within five miles of him, which I wouldn't do, but that doesn't make him evil, just an asshole. Anyway. "Was E.T. there?" Um, no? Spielberg wants to do a movie about Peter Pan and wants Michael, obviously, to play Peter Pan, and he thinks that Manny can play a Lost Boy. Which, let's be honest, he is. Manny will miss Michael while he's on tour. Michael whines because he wants to hang out with Manny the Composite Child Abuse Victim, but has to promote the album, blah blah and he gives him a rabbit's foot for good luck. "Not for the rabbit, it wasn't." Manny is cool. Michael laughs, because he's 50 and is totally not cool and doesn't know how that happened. They giggle on the bed like Terms of Endearment but gayer and weirder, and Bobby comes to get him and Michael says he'll call "a hundred times a day." Manny reminds him that during the day he's in school. Michael tells him he's "silly" for the fourth time in this scene and suddenly strikes a pose, saying, "I feel Dangerous." It's a good job of the creepy/childlike stuff, without taking a side, which is my personal preference too. That's cool. He dances around and then walks right into Manny's dad. Mr. Thomas is like, "Did you read my screenplay?" Because that's why I'm risking my child's daily safety and all. Michael's like, darn, I'll read it on the airplane.

Manny, always one to bring the awkward, tells Dad excitedly that last night was his and Michael's "thirtieth anniversary." Ben screams WHAT? I scream WHAT? We are all united, Dr. Laura is there, Janeane Garofalo is there, we're all screaming WHAT? from the other side of house and...um, yeah. "Thirty sleepovers in my room." Ew. Okay? Gross. No matter what? Gross. Michael laughs excitedly because thirty is a lot. Too. Fucking. Much. Dad's cute and getting all weirded out more and more by the second. He asks the obvious question, "What do you two have in common?" But in this loving way, like, "What have you guys been up to, with all those cans of Silly String?" Oh, everything, they sigh. It's like Anne of Green Gables jerking off about Diana Barry. I can see this being non-sexual and extremely sad. "Comic books, and ice cream..." and Manny's all, "Movies, cartoons; I'm his biggest fan." Bobby shows up and menaces everyone in the world, simultaneously, as if daring Mr. Thomas to call bullshit. This Manny actor is way too old to be playing an "ice cream" enthusiast. I buy it from Michael, but not a twelve-year-old, and that is, in itself, pretty sad. Michael bumps into some more stuff, leaving. Mr. Thomas, alone with his son and all perma-grin, is like, "So Manny? Tell me more about these, uh, 'sleepovers.'" He's totally playing it cool, but I don't know if that's because he's scared shitless, or looking crazy litigious. I think I'd be both at this point. Because Michael Jackson is from space and I'd be about 33 percent each way, either "Michael fuck kids" or "Michael is sadder than you imagine" or "Michael takes you to Roswell and does some things the government should know about." But you know what? The kind of parent that would consent to these sleepovers in the first place? Is not...not going to suddenly wig out about this stuff, I think.

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Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

"Please don't yell at me." Grow up. Ziggy apologizes because he's Howard K. Stern and he knows it. "I trust my talent, Ziggy." And Ziggy just crawls right back up there, all, "We all worship at the feet of your talent," but he can't be like everybody else and tell Michael what he wants to hear. I'm so sure. "Sometimes truth is a bitch, and the bitch hurts." WHAT THE FUCK? Michael looks off poetically as Ziggy explains that he's been looking out for Michael since he was little and molesting people his own age. "And you did a great job," says Michael, all calm, and it's very Sopranos because Ziggy's time? Is up.

So's Michael, up. IN a tree. Rock on. He tells Bobby they're going to have to fire Ziggy because he "doesn't believe anymore," but more like an offer Ziggy can't refuse. Bobby's like, the hell? But Michael-in-a-tree is all, I don't care, he has to believe. Or else. First your family, then the witnesses, now Ziggy...where does it end? "Maybe I'm next," says Bobby. Dumbly, because that's total evidence of not believing in stupid magic and whatnot. "Bobby, don't be silly." If there's a word that I hate thanks to this movie, it's silly. It's mostly because of the overuse, but also the Jack-on-Will & Grace-ness of the word. "You know how important you are to me." This is a pretty serious scene, considering he's TOTALLY IN A TREE THE WHOLE TIME. Bobby talks like it's normal to have this conversation with a guy in a tree.

Shots of all of Manny's bedroom posters of Michael Jackson everywhere. Michael comes into his bedroom all creepy-sneakily, and then does a little Chaplin routine. He's on the way to the airport to start his tour, but first he needs to tell Manny the "coolest secret ever." And what is it? That's Michael's pushing forty at this point and still is responsible for nothing and has more money than anybody ever? "I met Steven Spielberg!" Cool. He's nice, I guess. He allows James Cameron within five miles of him, which I wouldn't do, but that doesn't make him evil, just an asshole. Anyway. "Was E.T. there?" Um, no? Spielberg wants to do a movie about Peter Pan and wants Michael, obviously, to play Peter Pan, and he thinks that Manny can play a Lost Boy. Which, let's be honest, he is. Manny will miss Michael while he's on tour. Michael whines because he wants to hang out with Manny the Composite Child Abuse Victim, but has to promote the album, blah blah and he gives him a rabbit's foot for good luck. "Not for the rabbit, it wasn't." Manny is cool. Michael laughs, because he's 50 and is totally not cool and doesn't know how that happened. They giggle on the bed like Terms of Endearment but gayer and weirder, and Bobby comes to get him and Michael says he'll call "a hundred times a day." Manny reminds him that during the day he's in school. Michael tells him he's "silly" for the fourth time in this scene and suddenly strikes a pose, saying, "I feel Dangerous." It's a good job of the creepy/childlike stuff, without taking a side, which is my personal preference too. That's cool. He dances around and then walks right into Manny's dad. Mr. Thomas is like, "Did you read my screenplay?" Because that's why I'm risking my child's daily safety and all. Michael's like, darn, I'll read it on the airplane.

Manny, always one to bring the awkward, tells Dad excitedly that last night was his and Michael's "thirtieth anniversary." Ben screams WHAT? I scream WHAT? We are all united, Dr. Laura is there, Janeane Garofalo is there, we're all screaming WHAT? from the other side of house and...um, yeah. "Thirty sleepovers in my room." Ew. Okay? Gross. No matter what? Gross. Michael laughs excitedly because thirty is a lot. Too. Fucking. Much. Dad's cute and getting all weirded out more and more by the second. He asks the obvious question, "What do you two have in common?" But in this loving way, like, "What have you guys been up to, with all those cans of Silly String?" Oh, everything, they sigh. It's like Anne of Green Gables jerking off about Diana Barry. I can see this being non-sexual and extremely sad. "Comic books, and ice cream..." and Manny's all, "Movies, cartoons; I'm his biggest fan." Bobby shows up and menaces everyone in the world, simultaneously, as if daring Mr. Thomas to call bullshit. This Manny actor is way too old to be playing an "ice cream" enthusiast. I buy it from Michael, but not a twelve-year-old, and that is, in itself, pretty sad. Michael bumps into some more stuff, leaving. Mr. Thomas, alone with his son and all perma-grin, is like, "So Manny? Tell me more about these, uh, 'sleepovers.'" He's totally playing it cool, but I don't know if that's because he's scared shitless, or looking crazy litigious. I think I'd be both at this point. Because Michael Jackson is from space and I'd be about 33 percent each way, either "Michael fuck kids" or "Michael is sadder than you imagine" or "Michael takes you to Roswell and does some things the government should know about." But you know what? The kind of parent that would consent to these sleepovers in the first place? Is not...not going to suddenly wig out about this stuff, I think.

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