MONDO EXTRAS

Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

They come to get Michael over to the set, but he's still worried about the drugs and how he's going to be avoiding direct sunlight and, you know, boring stuff like his health. Joe shows up to yell some more, but at least he doesn't have an Uzi. Michael puts on one sequined glove and, ever the visionary, he starts talking about how they'll be the Michael Jackson equivalent of Disney mouse ears and everyone kind of WTFs because he's just that brilliant and nobody can see it. Joe's all, "Nobody's going to buy just one glove," and then he pulls Michael away from the doctor and Debbie. Michael is totally giggling about nothing whatsoever. Debbie and the doc stare after him and talk about how sweet and wonderful and great and totally not weird he is, and how it's so sad that Michael has vitiligo that we can't do anything about and will take away his precious pigments. Walking down the hall, there's an explosion and the guy says they're testing the pyrotechnic effects. Michael demands that they spend no more than four seconds on his face. Joe clarifies, since it's unbelievable and weird and no one would jump to this conclusion, that this is four seconds cumulative total, not per shot. The guy's like, you're kidding? Michael's all, "I don't want overexposure." I love the lying we're doing here, because A) it's too late and B) Michael wants a certain kind of overexposure that makes him mysterious and magical and be all like the Balrog.

Michael has a bad feeling. He's psychic, and it's not just because of the Floating Head of Diana Ross. He has other powers, too. Like clairvoyance. "I won't give VH-1 the rights to make this movie unless they show my psychic powers." In response to Michael's bad feeling, Joe says he has "a five-million-dollar feeling about this." Case closed. Michael and his mind powers and his vitiligo look back at the pyro stuff and he's worried some more. Michael stands around feeling creeped out and the other four Jacksons that totally don't matter run by and sparks are flying everywhere. Michael licks his soon-to-be quite warm lips and finally heads across the stage to where the commercial is. He does a sassy little turn onto the stage and there's screaming. Everything explodes, everything. There's yelling and, like, dogs barking and we lacuna to Michael getting paramedicated to the burn unit. On the gurney, that glove is waving and holding up fingers. His head is all bandaged and his hands are huge like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

Some nurse lady smiles down at him, and he blinks. "I like your eyes." "I like your music," she smiles. He's having a scalp graft, which I didn't know happened, and she tells him that it's an easy kind of thing, so his fans' prayers are not at all necessary. Huh. He really likes her eyes and says so about fifty times before dropping into unconsciousness. There are some random memories of random crap and a bunch of little kids telling him they love him. It is, needless to say, weird and creepy. There are characters and people we may or may not see again. Some Tinkerbell girl. Oh, it's Janet. I'm so sure. This girl looks like an extra in a Prince movie, totally boring with "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" permed hair and it's totally not Janet-like in any way.

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Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

They come to get Michael over to the set, but he's still worried about the drugs and how he's going to be avoiding direct sunlight and, you know, boring stuff like his health. Joe shows up to yell some more, but at least he doesn't have an Uzi. Michael puts on one sequined glove and, ever the visionary, he starts talking about how they'll be the Michael Jackson equivalent of Disney mouse ears and everyone kind of WTFs because he's just that brilliant and nobody can see it. Joe's all, "Nobody's going to buy just one glove," and then he pulls Michael away from the doctor and Debbie. Michael is totally giggling about nothing whatsoever. Debbie and the doc stare after him and talk about how sweet and wonderful and great and totally not weird he is, and how it's so sad that Michael has vitiligo that we can't do anything about and will take away his precious pigments. Walking down the hall, there's an explosion and the guy says they're testing the pyrotechnic effects. Michael demands that they spend no more than four seconds on his face. Joe clarifies, since it's unbelievable and weird and no one would jump to this conclusion, that this is four seconds cumulative total, not per shot. The guy's like, you're kidding? Michael's all, "I don't want overexposure." I love the lying we're doing here, because A) it's too late and B) Michael wants a certain kind of overexposure that makes him mysterious and magical and be all like the Balrog.

Michael has a bad feeling. He's psychic, and it's not just because of the Floating Head of Diana Ross. He has other powers, too. Like clairvoyance. "I won't give VH-1 the rights to make this movie unless they show my psychic powers." In response to Michael's bad feeling, Joe says he has "a five-million-dollar feeling about this." Case closed. Michael and his mind powers and his vitiligo look back at the pyro stuff and he's worried some more. Michael stands around feeling creeped out and the other four Jacksons that totally don't matter run by and sparks are flying everywhere. Michael licks his soon-to-be quite warm lips and finally heads across the stage to where the commercial is. He does a sassy little turn onto the stage and there's screaming. Everything explodes, everything. There's yelling and, like, dogs barking and we lacuna to Michael getting paramedicated to the burn unit. On the gurney, that glove is waving and holding up fingers. His head is all bandaged and his hands are huge like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

Some nurse lady smiles down at him, and he blinks. "I like your eyes." "I like your music," she smiles. He's having a scalp graft, which I didn't know happened, and she tells him that it's an easy kind of thing, so his fans' prayers are not at all necessary. Huh. He really likes her eyes and says so about fifty times before dropping into unconsciousness. There are some random memories of random crap and a bunch of little kids telling him they love him. It is, needless to say, weird and creepy. There are characters and people we may or may not see again. Some Tinkerbell girl. Oh, it's Janet. I'm so sure. This girl looks like an extra in a Prince movie, totally boring with "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" permed hair and it's totally not Janet-like in any way.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

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