MONDO EXTRAS

Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

Now he's dancing. Again. In a fringed western shirt. Yikes. There's this conceit where he only wears one outfit in each phase of his career, the one we know, so like, during the mysterious babies part? He only wears that red satin number with the lipstick and glossy black hair. Like that. For weeks of story, just the one outfit. Right now we're on the silver glove/white fringe Victory Tour outfit. Did I mention I don't give a damn about Michael Jackson? I should tell you that. I don't give a damn about Michael Jackson. I never have. He never mattered to me. Wait, he was the first song I ever heard, other than my mom's, like, Juice Newton and Joni Mitchell, and my dad's James Taylor, and of course my addiction to the soundtracks of The Sound of Music, and Annie, which no one could stand. My parents call that "the soundtrack of nature's triumph over nurture." We're still years away from my Xanadu obsession at this point. Anyhow, I was in pre-school and this girl brought her brother's tape and we listened to "Beat It" and I liked how it started. BONG BONG BONG. I thought it was very exciting.

So Joe's all over Ziggy about Michael doing the Victory tour and Michael's nuts and wants to buy 2000 tickets in each city of the tour and give them away. Still not really getting capitalism. Ziggy's like, hey, why not 3000? Michael's all, exactly! You're getting it! You're speaking my language! The language of crazy? Ziggy then speaks the language of awesome. "Your father's going to crap up a lung if he hears about this."

"Look, if I'm going to be the family business, I'm going to do it my way." Valid. Cut to the final Victory show, 9 December 1984 -- this thing just moves right along, huh? -- and Michael, as I said, is still wearing the glittery western shirt. Michael pants around backstage, heedless of his cues. Everybody stares at him, and Joe almost rushes him and beats him up for flitting and mincing around when the entire billion-person crowd is waiting on him. Mom tells him to have a great show. "Tonight's going to be so special," he says, and touches her face with his giant mouse hand. He runs up onstage and does the robotic Michael movements, and the people go shit-eating crazy. That same footage for the third time of him dancing around fills our lives with a song that doesn't sound anything like Jackson music or even, really, music of any kind. There are lots of kids dressed like Michael Jackson. Ha, they're stupid.

Michael stops the music -- which I'm guessing was even more awkward in real life, due to the hundreds of people making the show happen -- and the Jackson Four are all, "What?" Like all of a sudden he's grandstanding and getting all the attention. Michael tells the crowd, whom he loves, that he loves them, and this will be the last show of the Jackson family, and that he loves them. The J4 are of course surprised by this news. The hand is so big, y'all. It's blowing my mind. It's the size of your head. Michael waves goodbye in this weird wiggly way with the giant gloved hand. Backstage, everybody would like to know what the hell is going on. Joe attacks, of course, and Michael's like, "I'm done," and Joe's all, "I'll tell you when you're done, bitch," and Michael's like, "Not anymore." This whole movie is made of these iconic moments we all imagine happened but we really know that they didn't. Like, I'm so sure that Michael came backstage and made this definitive stand. Well, not that precisely, it's just that every scene represents like the entire month's worth of story for that news item and they all happen in five minutes and Michael Jackson must have like ten epiphanies a day if that's what it's like. These scenes have no real reality. Just like Michael, really, so maybe it's true, or maybe it's smart. Maybe I like this movie. Maybe, though, I'm about to throw down the gauntlet and be all, "No, Joseph, this movie sucks and I'm tired of writing about it and I'm going to work for ESPN. That is IT!" No, I'm back. So Joe freaks the hell out and everybody holds him back from killing his son for the fifteenth time in this movie and then he comforts the boys and tells them he'll figure out a way to keep making money off of them. Basically.

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Do You Believe in Magic?

by Jacob Clifton August 17, 2004
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story

Now he's dancing. Again. In a fringed western shirt. Yikes. There's this conceit where he only wears one outfit in each phase of his career, the one we know, so like, during the mysterious babies part? He only wears that red satin number with the lipstick and glossy black hair. Like that. For weeks of story, just the one outfit. Right now we're on the silver glove/white fringe Victory Tour outfit. Did I mention I don't give a damn about Michael Jackson? I should tell you that. I don't give a damn about Michael Jackson. I never have. He never mattered to me. Wait, he was the first song I ever heard, other than my mom's, like, Juice Newton and Joni Mitchell, and my dad's James Taylor, and of course my addiction to the soundtracks of The Sound of Music, and Annie, which no one could stand. My parents call that "the soundtrack of nature's triumph over nurture." We're still years away from my Xanadu obsession at this point. Anyhow, I was in pre-school and this girl brought her brother's tape and we listened to "Beat It" and I liked how it started. BONG BONG BONG. I thought it was very exciting.

So Joe's all over Ziggy about Michael doing the Victory tour and Michael's nuts and wants to buy 2000 tickets in each city of the tour and give them away. Still not really getting capitalism. Ziggy's like, hey, why not 3000? Michael's all, exactly! You're getting it! You're speaking my language! The language of crazy? Ziggy then speaks the language of awesome. "Your father's going to crap up a lung if he hears about this."

"Look, if I'm going to be the family business, I'm going to do it my way." Valid. Cut to the final Victory show, 9 December 1984 -- this thing just moves right along, huh? -- and Michael, as I said, is still wearing the glittery western shirt. Michael pants around backstage, heedless of his cues. Everybody stares at him, and Joe almost rushes him and beats him up for flitting and mincing around when the entire billion-person crowd is waiting on him. Mom tells him to have a great show. "Tonight's going to be so special," he says, and touches her face with his giant mouse hand. He runs up onstage and does the robotic Michael movements, and the people go shit-eating crazy. That same footage for the third time of him dancing around fills our lives with a song that doesn't sound anything like Jackson music or even, really, music of any kind. There are lots of kids dressed like Michael Jackson. Ha, they're stupid.

Michael stops the music -- which I'm guessing was even more awkward in real life, due to the hundreds of people making the show happen -- and the Jackson Four are all, "What?" Like all of a sudden he's grandstanding and getting all the attention. Michael tells the crowd, whom he loves, that he loves them, and this will be the last show of the Jackson family, and that he loves them. The J4 are of course surprised by this news. The hand is so big, y'all. It's blowing my mind. It's the size of your head. Michael waves goodbye in this weird wiggly way with the giant gloved hand. Backstage, everybody would like to know what the hell is going on. Joe attacks, of course, and Michael's like, "I'm done," and Joe's all, "I'll tell you when you're done, bitch," and Michael's like, "Not anymore." This whole movie is made of these iconic moments we all imagine happened but we really know that they didn't. Like, I'm so sure that Michael came backstage and made this definitive stand. Well, not that precisely, it's just that every scene represents like the entire month's worth of story for that news item and they all happen in five minutes and Michael Jackson must have like ten epiphanies a day if that's what it's like. These scenes have no real reality. Just like Michael, really, so maybe it's true, or maybe it's smart. Maybe I like this movie. Maybe, though, I'm about to throw down the gauntlet and be all, "No, Joseph, this movie sucks and I'm tired of writing about it and I'm going to work for ESPN. That is IT!" No, I'm back. So Joe freaks the hell out and everybody holds him back from killing his son for the fifteenth time in this movie and then he comforts the boys and tells them he'll figure out a way to keep making money off of them. Basically.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

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