Melrose Place: "The Bitch Is Back"
AND NOW. We have come to the moment we've all been waiting for. Now, what those of you who've never seen this episode -- especially those of you who didn't see it when it originally aired -- must understand is that this episode aired before the Interwebs were widely used and therefore, spoilers were few and far between. No one had the foggiest fucking clue what was going to happen at the end of this episode. We suspected Kimberly was a little not right in the head, but we had no idea she had such serious problems with her hair. So, Kimberly and Michael are having hot, hot sex. Michael has hot sex with someone in every episode of this show, I believe. And props to him for it. Anyway. There's a lot of rolling around and tossing of hair. Michael moans something about how Kimberly is incredible. They, you know, finish up, and she tells him she'll be back, and climbs off him. I just noticed that Thomas Calabro had to grab the sheet and pull it up so it wouldn't reveal his naughty bits and almost missed this piece of blocking, and it looks like he almost cracked up laughing, but managed to turn it into a smarmy grin. Seriously, someone, hire him.
So Kimberly goes into the bathroom. She turns on the light. She grips her head. She rummages through her bag. She shakes several pills into her hand. She swallows them. She then stares at herself in the mirror for a long, long time. She grasps her temples. She runs her hands through her hair. She grasps her temples again, and then....and then...SHE RIPS OFF ALL HER HAIR. Because it's A WIG! A WIG! And underneath, she's got this huge, crazy, angry-looking scar starting at her temple and running all the way around her ear. And her real hair! It's all short and spiky and effed up under there! The Melrose Place saxophone wails! Kimberly looks tearful, yet somewhat psychotic, as viewers all over America SCREAM! And...SCENE!
Seriously. When you had no idea that reveal was coming, it was the most shocking thing you'd ever seen. I happened to be watching it with some friends who were taping the episode for their roommate, so we were about to pull an early TiVo and rewind it and watch it over and over and over again. We were in the dorms, and as Kimberly ripped off the wig, I could literally hear 80\% of the people on my hall yell in unison. It was totally rad. And you know what? It still is. Thanks for reliving it with me, guys.