Melrose Place: "The Bitch Is Back"
Oh my God, I love this next scene and it's all because Thomas Calabro is brilliant. So, okay: he comes home, right, and Sydney is having lunch, which is a big bowl of tuna salad. She is pathetically happy to see him, and offers him some salad. But he's not interested in it...yet. Instead, he tells her they have to talk. Sydney wonders what's wrong. "Let me put that another way," Michael says. "I have something to tell you. I want a divorce. And I want you out of my house. Today." Not surprisingly, Sydney is not pleased: "This is not a funny joke." Michael informs her that it is not, in fact, a joke: "I want you to pack it up." He offers to pick up her hotel bill for the night. Oh, Dr. Michael Mancini, you magnificent bastard. "Stop it, Michael, please," Sydney begs. "We're doing so great! I'm a doctor's wife! I'm gonna take care of you, remember?" Michael smiles SO patronizingly: "What can I say? It's like I woke up from a bad dream and now I wanna start all over." Sydney tearfully reminds him that if he keeps acting like this, she can really do him a lot of harm. By which she means the blackmail thing. "Let's forget about this conversation and I'll just make you a sandwich," she offers. Instead, Michael grabs Sydney and shoves her bedroom-ward. "Put your clothes in a BAG and PACK 'EM UP and LEAVE NOW!" he yells. Sydney can't believe he's serious! "I will ruin you! You smug piece of scum!" Michael warns her not to start with the name-calling, but she's really on a roll. "EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IS GONE," she yells at him. "Do you hear me? EVERYTHING! YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON. And YOU'RE gonna be the wife! GET IT? I control what happens to you!" Michael just looks amused. "Not anymore," he smiles. Sydney nods her head furiously. "We'll just see about that!" she screams. "WE'LL SEE." She storms out of the house. And this is my favorite part of this scene: Michael looks totally, totally unconcerned, loosens his tie, and looks finally at the tuna salad. "Mmm! Tuna!" he says, as he picks it up with interest. I think that is my favorite Small Dr. Michael Mancini Moment, second only to the time that Kimberly ran out of the house to try to drown herself, for some reason -- maybe this was after the time she drugged Michael's beer and then put him in the car and turned it on to fake his suicide by carbon-monoxide poisoning, from which he was saved by his ex-wife Jane, but after which he also managed to get it up to have sex on the hood of said car with Kimberly hours later after yelling at her for trying to murder him AGAIN -- and right after she ran for the ocean and right before he ran after her to save her life, he made this brilliant facial expression, like, "Oh, Jesus, NOT AGAIN." How is he not working right this second?