MONDO EXTRAS

Melrose Place: "The Bitch Is Back"

by Jessica October 1, 2005
Melrose Place: “The Bitch Is Back”

So Kimberly and Michael are at dinner. Michael is gleefully recounting how upset "that little tramp" (that would be Sydney, and really, he's just being factual since Sydney is LITERALLY a hooker) was when Kimberly walked in on them at the hospital. He's sucking down a very fruity beverage, and Kimberly eyes him slightly irritably. "YOUR DRINK TASTES ALL RIGHT?" she sort of screams, and that's rather suspicious, no? But stupid Michael announces that he's ready for another. She tells him she wants to eat first, and calls to the waiter for some menus. But Michael orders another drink anyway, and Kimberly gets all steely. "No," she tells him. "You won't." Well, he did basically kill her in a drunk-driving accident. Let's cut the crazy bitch some slack. The waiter shoots Michael a "boy, are you whipped" look, and heads off to fetch their menus. Kimberly looks alternately bored and suspicious at the dinner table. Michael finally catches his snap and asks her what's going on. Kimberly: "I told you. I want to eat." Michael makes a vaguely drunk, sympathetic look. "You're mad at me about Sydney," he says, and tells her to "let it out," because he deserves it, and he just hopes she can forgive him. "I DO forgive you," Kimberly tells him shortly, and starts rubbing her temples like her head really, really hurts. He asks what she was thinking about him that entire time. "You know, while you were..." IN A COMA? "That you deserted me," Kimberly snaps. "But you DIDN'T. DID YOU?" Michael looks guilty and says that of course he didn't, and that he loves her. He does not point out, as most people would, that he wasn't around because, you know, everyone told him she was dead. There's a great deal more temple- and scalp-rubbing from Kimberly. "Dammit," she says. "It's Syd," Michael insists. "Come on. Tell me how you feel." He is really not very good at picking up on the fact that she might have a headache. Especially considering that he is a doctor. "MICHAEL, JUST SHUT UP," Kimberly hisses, continuing with the head-rubbing. Michael looks guilty. Kimberly: "It's got nothing to do with Sydney. It's my head. I've been getting these headaches occasionally, all right?" She takes some medication. "Sure, sweetheart, sure," Michael tells her. He doesn't even ask what she's on, and Kimberly looks both pained and annoyed.

Amanda's. She's telling Jake in no uncertain terms that she really doesn't want to let Linda Gray explain shit to her. She's also wearing a skirt that goes up to her armpits, paired with a cropped, striped cardigan. I don't know. "This is not your business, Jake," she says, and reminds him that he wasn't there when she was a little kid crying on her bed for her mother: "And no way did you have the right to invite that woman into my home! You stepped way, way over the line." Jake wonders what he was supposed to do -- slam the door in Linda Gray's plastic little face? "Why not? You know how I feel about her. Why do you care if I make up with her? What is it? I'm not good enough the way I am? You have jump in and make me cozy with my mommy? Make me a little softer?" Heather Locklear just rules. "What did you think? That I'd go, 'Oh, thank you for making me all whole again'?" she asks. Jake is all, "What is your problem? She told me you were working together." Amanda points out that Linda Gray is a big fat liar. I have to say, these two are believable as a couple in a way I didn't get when I was nineteen. Amanda finally tells him, "Jake, I have opened up to you. That is not something I do easily. Hell, it's not something I do at all. Because I can't stand being hurt. I can't stand it." Jake sort of rolls his eyes and comes toward Amanda to hug her, and she backs up and tells him she's told him things that are PRIVATE and she just wants him to respect her feelings. Jake promises he will: "Amanda, come on." She tells him that she never wants him to mention her mother ever again. And so he tells her that HIS mom is a drunk, and he doesn't even know where his dad is, but he'd still like to talk to his dad if he could and try to understand him better: "Because, good or bad, he's a part of me. She's your mother, Amanda, you can't run away from that." Jake, so sensitive! I forgot how thoughtful you are, behind that manly exterior. Although now that I think about it, who could forget how kind you were to little Kelly Taylor when she had a crush on you while you were building the gazebo for her mother's wedding to Mel Silver?

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Melrose Place: "The Bitch Is Back"

by Jessica October 1, 2005
Melrose Place: “The Bitch Is Back”

So Kimberly and Michael are at dinner. Michael is gleefully recounting how upset "that little tramp" (that would be Sydney, and really, he's just being factual since Sydney is LITERALLY a hooker) was when Kimberly walked in on them at the hospital. He's sucking down a very fruity beverage, and Kimberly eyes him slightly irritably. "YOUR DRINK TASTES ALL RIGHT?" she sort of screams, and that's rather suspicious, no? But stupid Michael announces that he's ready for another. She tells him she wants to eat first, and calls to the waiter for some menus. But Michael orders another drink anyway, and Kimberly gets all steely. "No," she tells him. "You won't." Well, he did basically kill her in a drunk-driving accident. Let's cut the crazy bitch some slack. The waiter shoots Michael a "boy, are you whipped" look, and heads off to fetch their menus. Kimberly looks alternately bored and suspicious at the dinner table. Michael finally catches his snap and asks her what's going on. Kimberly: "I told you. I want to eat." Michael makes a vaguely drunk, sympathetic look. "You're mad at me about Sydney," he says, and tells her to "let it out," because he deserves it, and he just hopes she can forgive him. "I DO forgive you," Kimberly tells him shortly, and starts rubbing her temples like her head really, really hurts. He asks what she was thinking about him that entire time. "You know, while you were..." IN A COMA? "That you deserted me," Kimberly snaps. "But you DIDN'T. DID YOU?" Michael looks guilty and says that of course he didn't, and that he loves her. He does not point out, as most people would, that he wasn't around because, you know, everyone told him she was dead. There's a great deal more temple- and scalp-rubbing from Kimberly. "Dammit," she says. "It's Syd," Michael insists. "Come on. Tell me how you feel." He is really not very good at picking up on the fact that she might have a headache. Especially considering that he is a doctor. "MICHAEL, JUST SHUT UP," Kimberly hisses, continuing with the head-rubbing. Michael looks guilty. Kimberly: "It's got nothing to do with Sydney. It's my head. I've been getting these headaches occasionally, all right?" She takes some medication. "Sure, sweetheart, sure," Michael tells her. He doesn't even ask what she's on, and Kimberly looks both pained and annoyed.

Amanda's. She's telling Jake in no uncertain terms that she really doesn't want to let Linda Gray explain shit to her. She's also wearing a skirt that goes up to her armpits, paired with a cropped, striped cardigan. I don't know. "This is not your business, Jake," she says, and reminds him that he wasn't there when she was a little kid crying on her bed for her mother: "And no way did you have the right to invite that woman into my home! You stepped way, way over the line." Jake wonders what he was supposed to do -- slam the door in Linda Gray's plastic little face? "Why not? You know how I feel about her. Why do you care if I make up with her? What is it? I'm not good enough the way I am? You have jump in and make me cozy with my mommy? Make me a little softer?" Heather Locklear just rules. "What did you think? That I'd go, 'Oh, thank you for making me all whole again'?" she asks. Jake is all, "What is your problem? She told me you were working together." Amanda points out that Linda Gray is a big fat liar. I have to say, these two are believable as a couple in a way I didn't get when I was nineteen. Amanda finally tells him, "Jake, I have opened up to you. That is not something I do easily. Hell, it's not something I do at all. Because I can't stand being hurt. I can't stand it." Jake sort of rolls his eyes and comes toward Amanda to hug her, and she backs up and tells him she's told him things that are PRIVATE and she just wants him to respect her feelings. Jake promises he will: "Amanda, come on." She tells him that she never wants him to mention her mother ever again. And so he tells her that HIS mom is a drunk, and he doesn't even know where his dad is, but he'd still like to talk to his dad if he could and try to understand him better: "Because, good or bad, he's a part of me. She's your mother, Amanda, you can't run away from that." Jake, so sensitive! I forgot how thoughtful you are, behind that manly exterior. Although now that I think about it, who could forget how kind you were to little Kelly Taylor when she had a crush on you while you were building the gazebo for her mother's wedding to Mel Silver?

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