MONDO EXTRAS

The One Where Monk Is Right

by M. Giant September 25, 2005
Monk: “Mr. Monk and the Earthquake”

Over at Gail's, Benjy turns on the kitchen tap and gets an orange stream of wet rust. Gail explains that that happens after every earthquake and says she's got a stash of mineral water, but when she looks for it, the cupboard is bare. Whatever could have become of it?

Cut to Monk in the tub, surrounded by empty bottles and cases while Gail pounds angrily on the bathroom door. Oh, and don't be too disappointed (or relieved, as the case may be) about missing Tony Shalhoub naked, because from this angle he might as well be sitting in an empty tub in his suit and we'd have no idea. "The tap water was a little rusty," he explains to Gail through the door. Gail tells him to enjoy it, "because that bath is costing me 95 dollars." Monk: "Okay, thank you." Benjy smirks like he's not going to pass out from dehydration in a few hours. That kid's smirk was one of the other reasons I quit watching this show. And then the next Benjy was even worse. And so were the seven or eight that came after him. I have a theory that the real reason Bitty Schram left the show is because the producers were tired of burning through Benjys and decided to cut her loose.

Darryl's out at a bar with Sharona, getting her liquored up on martinis. She's telling him all about Monk, I guess because talking about her own life as a single mother to a shape-shifting middle-schooler isn't interesting enough.

Disher rings Gail's doorbell, looking for Monk. Gail answers and gets her flirt on, asking to see Disher's cop ID and everything. He's all business at first, but it won't be long before his Jack Webb reserve begins to wilt before the smoldering hotness of Amy Sedaris. Grabbing his hand, ostensibly for a better look at his badge, she asks why he got rid of the mustache he's wearing in the photo. He says it's so people could tell him and the mustachioed Stottlemeyer apart. Good one. Considering Stottlemeyer's played by Buffalo Bill and Disher's nine-head makes Dawson Leery look like Sean Hannity, I don't think there was ever much danger of that. He says he never knew that Sharona had a sister, although he's known her for almost four years. Gail seems a little offended at this, until Disher remarks that Sharona probably kept Gail a secret because she's jealous. Gail invites him in, pulling her outer shirt off her shoulders.

In the kitchen, there's more twisted, weird flirting, as Gail tells him she's still got a pair of handcuffs on her bedpost from a cop she used to date. He's starting to get into it now, joking that he might have to bring her in as she sticks her boobs and ass out at him while cooking. She has him sample her sauce, and it's kind of gross, even though that's not a euphemism. With a bit still stuck to his chin, he asks what it's like to have Monk as a houseguest, and she compares it to the time she had a squirrel living in the walls and the attic that she couldn't get rid of for two weeks. She asks if Disher will wait for Monk, but he says he doesn't have the two or three hours it'll take for Monk to finish washing up. He hands her the manila envelope he brought to give to Monk, and thanks her for the sauce. Again, not a euphemism.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Comments

The One Where Monk Is Right

by M. Giant September 25, 2005
Monk: “Mr. Monk and the Earthquake”

Over at Gail's, Benjy turns on the kitchen tap and gets an orange stream of wet rust. Gail explains that that happens after every earthquake and says she's got a stash of mineral water, but when she looks for it, the cupboard is bare. Whatever could have become of it?

Cut to Monk in the tub, surrounded by empty bottles and cases while Gail pounds angrily on the bathroom door. Oh, and don't be too disappointed (or relieved, as the case may be) about missing Tony Shalhoub naked, because from this angle he might as well be sitting in an empty tub in his suit and we'd have no idea. "The tap water was a little rusty," he explains to Gail through the door. Gail tells him to enjoy it, "because that bath is costing me 95 dollars." Monk: "Okay, thank you." Benjy smirks like he's not going to pass out from dehydration in a few hours. That kid's smirk was one of the other reasons I quit watching this show. And then the next Benjy was even worse. And so were the seven or eight that came after him. I have a theory that the real reason Bitty Schram left the show is because the producers were tired of burning through Benjys and decided to cut her loose.

Darryl's out at a bar with Sharona, getting her liquored up on martinis. She's telling him all about Monk, I guess because talking about her own life as a single mother to a shape-shifting middle-schooler isn't interesting enough.

Disher rings Gail's doorbell, looking for Monk. Gail answers and gets her flirt on, asking to see Disher's cop ID and everything. He's all business at first, but it won't be long before his Jack Webb reserve begins to wilt before the smoldering hotness of Amy Sedaris. Grabbing his hand, ostensibly for a better look at his badge, she asks why he got rid of the mustache he's wearing in the photo. He says it's so people could tell him and the mustachioed Stottlemeyer apart. Good one. Considering Stottlemeyer's played by Buffalo Bill and Disher's nine-head makes Dawson Leery look like Sean Hannity, I don't think there was ever much danger of that. He says he never knew that Sharona had a sister, although he's known her for almost four years. Gail seems a little offended at this, until Disher remarks that Sharona probably kept Gail a secret because she's jealous. Gail invites him in, pulling her outer shirt off her shoulders.

In the kitchen, there's more twisted, weird flirting, as Gail tells him she's still got a pair of handcuffs on her bedpost from a cop she used to date. He's starting to get into it now, joking that he might have to bring her in as she sticks her boobs and ass out at him while cooking. She has him sample her sauce, and it's kind of gross, even though that's not a euphemism. With a bit still stuck to his chin, he asks what it's like to have Monk as a houseguest, and she compares it to the time she had a squirrel living in the walls and the attic that she couldn't get rid of for two weeks. She asks if Disher will wait for Monk, but he says he doesn't have the two or three hours it'll take for Monk to finish washing up. He hands her the manila envelope he brought to give to Monk, and thanks her for the sauce. Again, not a euphemism.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP