MONDO EXTRAS

10:35 -- Abigail Breslin and Sofia Vassilieva say how much they love adult actress Cameron Diaz's "adult movies." Is this supposed to be a reference to her actual adult movies? (Google it.) They present Best Female Performance nominees Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Kate Winslet, Taraji P. Henson and Kristen Stewart. Hey, guess who wins? Man, she is really awkward. Something happens when I look away for a second, and she pretty much runs offstage after that.

10:38 -- Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller introduce the Kings of Leon. I go get another cupcake from the fridge.

10:45 -- The Kings of Leon play golf and swear every time they hit the ball. This is what would happen if I played golf.

10:47 -- Danny McBride and Will Ferrell come out holding fake cats to look evil. Will thinks they were anesthetized, but Danny had them euthanized. They're dead! Ha ha ha! Yaaayy animal murder! They drop-kick the cats and announce the nominees for Best Comedic Performance: Amy Poehler, Steve Carrell, Anna Faris, Jim Carrey and James Franco. Somehow, Jim Carrey wins. Do the kids even know who Jim Carrey is any more? Carrey is equally stunned, and wearing a suede trenchcoat that makes him look like a flasher. But there's a pre-recorded inner monologue bit that feels done to death, and helps drive a nail into the spontaneity of the entire event, along with the fact that half of these segments were taped out-of-sequence and it shows.

10:57 - Denzel Washington comes out and introduces his daughter Olivia, who just graduated high school and wants to be an actress. It feels like a shameless attempt to get his daughter work (or help her meet T.I.), but if that's what it took to get Denzel there, so be it. He reads the cards so fast he gets half the words wrong. Probably because there are only a few minutes left. The nominees are Dark Knight, Twilight, Iron Man... oh, who cares, Twilight won. Catherine Hardwicke finally makes it to the stage, and thanks Stephenie Meyer. Someone else tries to say something, but Andy cuts him off to say good night. Thank you, Andy. Good night!

What was your favorite moment of the night? Let us know a year from now!