9:41 - Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick curse a lot as they look over the Best WTF Moment nominees -- so much so that most of their dialogue is bleeped, and it starts to feel like they're having technical difficulties. Then the Orbit Gum lady lets us know that the cast of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World will be here soon to introduce that category. That almost makes up for being suckered into caring about this glorified Orbit Gum commercial.
9:43 - Bradley Cooper and Jessica Biel are there to present Best Kiss. But fist, they turn the "Kiss Cam" on the audience, and while Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens barely peck, a shirtless Shaun White is game with his girl, and Jonah Hill and Russell Brand go to town on each other. Finally, Clark Duke kisses Sammi, but then it turns out The Situation is right on the other side, and he chases Duke out of the building. Few realize this is a promo for their new sitcom.
Meanwhile, in the actual Best Kiss category, there are five nominees, including one CGI kiss and one lesbian kiss, but of course we know R-Pattz and K-Stew will take it. Plus, now we get to see if the two of them will pull the same "Will we or won't we" bullshit they pulled last year. Aaaaaand they do. They pretend they're both way too awkward to kiss properly, which is probably not too far from the truth.
9:47 - Hey, it's Jason Segel and Miranda Cosgrove! Segel apparently loves iCarly; is he playing Marshall tonight? Anyway, they introduce Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg performing "California Gurls." Perry is going for Lady Gaga meets Wonder Woman with her outfit, with a blue Bettie Page wig, and she rides in on a hovering surfboard, which only makes me wish more that this time had been given to a Back to the Future II tribute instead.
9:56 - Commercial: The Real World: New Orleans. Isn't that redundant? Isn't every episode of this show like a particularly drama-filled night at Mardi Gras?
9:57 - Aziz and his Human Giant co-stars Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer do a sketch about stunt kid coordinators, in which kids are slammed into walls and clotheslined by garage doors.
9:59 - Bradley Cooper, Betty White and Scarlett Johansson are on stage to present a Generation Award to Sandra Bullock. Not to Betty White, mind you, who has entertained five generations of young people. Cooper comes up with approximately 57 million nicknames and brags about how much money her movies made last year, while Betty White humorously mixes up her movies and ScarJo has nothing to say. Literally. She declines to speak. I guess that's the joke of why she was out there, since she hasn't done any movies with her as far as I can recall. After a montage of clips of Demolition Man and Practical Magic, Bullock gets a standing O, honors Cooper and White and refutes the press's rumor-mongering before finally asking ScarJo why she's there. Apparently, she's there to fill in for her hubby Ryan Reynolds, and also because she wants to kiss Sandra. They lock lips, and alarms go off at TMZ, causing typewriters to automatically generate a story about Bullock's surfacing lesbian tendencies.