Oscar night arrives, rain or shine (read also: union waiver or writers' strike), on Sunday, February 24. If you've been procrastinating on your party-planning for fear the big show would be cancelled, fear not. You can put it in ink on your calendar. A quick lesson in Hollywood history: the Oscars are never cancelled.

The 80-year-old ceremony has only ever been delayed thrice. Nothing as low on the Hollywood food chain as writers could topple it from its showbiz perch.

I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here.
--Griffin Mill, The Player (1992)

Not even the launch of the war in Iraq made a dent...well, okay, they did skip the red carpet that year, denying us exactly what we pay them to provide: escapist glamour. They lost the copy of their job description. But then everyone in America lost it a little that year, no? So, no...the Oscars won't be cancelled. Only presidential assassinations (attempted or successful) and acts of God have delayed Tinsel Town's masturbatory celebration in the past. Collective ego-stroking is as natural to the movie industry as public humiliation for profit is to reality television. They can't exist without it. That show must go on.

So you are throwing a party, aren't you? Unless you're a member of the WGA, I don't think you have any business striking. Your party must go on. But what kind of party is totally up to you. Here are a few templates from which you can steal ideas for your big night.

Pro-Union Gathering
Oscar-Winning Patron Saint: Sally Field as Norma Rae.
Who To Invite: Only people with party seniority. No newbies.
Dress Code: Jeans and t-shirts. No evening gowns permitted. They can impede partying and those long trains may prove hazardous to your partygoers. Safety first.
Party Length: Four hours minimum. Seven hours maximum.
What To Serve: Potluck.
From The Bar: Booze. Sunny D as mixer (if it's good enough for Juno...).
Suggested Props: Huge buttons with Best Picture titles on them from which guests can choose, proudly displaying their Picture Affiliation as they "work" the party. Also, cardboard and pens. Guests should scribble down their favorite nominated actor's name on their pins.
Suggested Party Activities:

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Oscar night arrives, rain or shine (read also: union waiver or writers' strike), on Sunday, February 24. If you've been procrastinating on your party-planning for fear the big show would be cancelled, fear not. You can put it in ink on your calendar. A quick lesson in Hollywood history: the Oscars are never cancelled.

The 80-year-old ceremony has only ever been delayed thrice. Nothing as low on the Hollywood food chain as writers could topple it from its showbiz perch.

I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here.
--Griffin Mill, The Player (1992)

Not even the launch of the war in Iraq made a dent...well, okay, they did skip the red carpet that year, denying us exactly what we pay them to provide: escapist glamour. They lost the copy of their job description. But then everyone in America lost it a little that year, no? So, no...the Oscars won't be cancelled. Only presidential assassinations (attempted or successful) and acts of God have delayed Tinsel Town's masturbatory celebration in the past. Collective ego-stroking is as natural to the movie industry as public humiliation for profit is to reality television. They can't exist without it. That show must go on.

So you are throwing a party, aren't you? Unless you're a member of the WGA, I don't think you have any business striking. Your party must go on. But what kind of party is totally up to you. Here are a few templates from which you can steal ideas for your big night.

Pro-Union Gathering
Oscar-Winning Patron Saint: Sally Field as Norma Rae.
Who To Invite: Only people with party seniority. No newbies.
Dress Code: Jeans and t-shirts. No evening gowns permitted. They can impede partying and those long trains may prove hazardous to your partygoers. Safety first.
Party Length: Four hours minimum. Seven hours maximum.
What To Serve: Potluck.
From The Bar: Booze. Sunny D as mixer (if it's good enough for Juno...).
Suggested Props: Huge buttons with Best Picture titles on them from which guests can choose, proudly displaying their Picture Affiliation as they "work" the party. Also, cardboard and pens. Guests should scribble down their favorite nominated actor's name on their pins.
Suggested Party Activities:

1 2 3 4Next