MONDO EXTRAS

When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

Amy Fisher cutely surprises/scares Carlo in the kitchen, and he fucking immediately breaks into another speech about some crap and how he's tried "every recipe from here to Hoboken" and then all of a sudden it's another metaphor like with the tomatoes where Amy Fisher tells Carlo that he's using the wrong ingredients, and that he should try "sumpin' new, sumpin' unespected" and she means…to kiss him. He should COOK her TONGUE?

She explains that he and Gina are the wrong ingredients, as she and Gina are well aware, and then they have a retarded conversation we won't go into except that they understand each other perfectly and their love is perfect and he never saw it before, how perfect they were together, and once you fall in love like that, she just ends up fucking Pacey anyway.

That stupid-ass balloon which has been fully inflated in that lemon tree for weeks? I thought it was a continuity error, but in fact it's a stupidity error. It drifts into the sparking box and sets Prestolani's on fire. My brain goes all Sixth Sense remembering the clues with a vrooming sound: The balloons! All those huge piles of pizza boxes that were so confusing! That spigot that wasn't working! It's all coming together! Except for how they only stuck out in the first place because they were stupid and made no sense!

Joe fails to extinguish the fire. A wire drops from the increasingly not-up-to-code utility pole (the utility pole!) and now Montebello's is on fire too. This is awesome. Jomeo and Gina end up crouched on the fence in the lemon tree and the whole world is on fire around them. They both look stupidly scared and a little moist.

Here's the thing, though: The immediately preceding scene, Carlo and Amy Fisher were making out about ten yards from this crackling inferno. So what about them? And where's Guido? Looking in a mirror somewhere. Actually, all of them -- even Carlo and Amy Fisher -- might also be at the church, at the same time that they're making out at Prestolani's. That's what we're dealing with here.

So Hedaya and Papa P are suddenly bored of praying, and they get up, and Priest gives them their goodbye letters from Gina and Jomeo, and The Man In The Iron Mask and the guys from Kiss Of The Spider Woman are like, "How can you make this look so damn hard?" and everybody starts yelling but then Mama Hedaya gets the call that the restaurants are on fire. No, this call is not from Jomeo, who had a cell phone two scenes ago, but from somebody we've never seen before. Jomeo and Gina are even stupider than Romeo and Juliet because they're not even calling anybody. Not even Carlo and Amy Fisher, who are apparently magic.

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When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

Amy Fisher cutely surprises/scares Carlo in the kitchen, and he fucking immediately breaks into another speech about some crap and how he's tried "every recipe from here to Hoboken" and then all of a sudden it's another metaphor like with the tomatoes where Amy Fisher tells Carlo that he's using the wrong ingredients, and that he should try "sumpin' new, sumpin' unespected" and she means…to kiss him. He should COOK her TONGUE?

She explains that he and Gina are the wrong ingredients, as she and Gina are well aware, and then they have a retarded conversation we won't go into except that they understand each other perfectly and their love is perfect and he never saw it before, how perfect they were together, and once you fall in love like that, she just ends up fucking Pacey anyway.

That stupid-ass balloon which has been fully inflated in that lemon tree for weeks? I thought it was a continuity error, but in fact it's a stupidity error. It drifts into the sparking box and sets Prestolani's on fire. My brain goes all Sixth Sense remembering the clues with a vrooming sound: The balloons! All those huge piles of pizza boxes that were so confusing! That spigot that wasn't working! It's all coming together! Except for how they only stuck out in the first place because they were stupid and made no sense!

Joe fails to extinguish the fire. A wire drops from the increasingly not-up-to-code utility pole (the utility pole!) and now Montebello's is on fire too. This is awesome. Jomeo and Gina end up crouched on the fence in the lemon tree and the whole world is on fire around them. They both look stupidly scared and a little moist.

Here's the thing, though: The immediately preceding scene, Carlo and Amy Fisher were making out about ten yards from this crackling inferno. So what about them? And where's Guido? Looking in a mirror somewhere. Actually, all of them -- even Carlo and Amy Fisher -- might also be at the church, at the same time that they're making out at Prestolani's. That's what we're dealing with here.

So Hedaya and Papa P are suddenly bored of praying, and they get up, and Priest gives them their goodbye letters from Gina and Jomeo, and The Man In The Iron Mask and the guys from Kiss Of The Spider Woman are like, "How can you make this look so damn hard?" and everybody starts yelling but then Mama Hedaya gets the call that the restaurants are on fire. No, this call is not from Jomeo, who had a cell phone two scenes ago, but from somebody we've never seen before. Jomeo and Gina are even stupider than Romeo and Juliet because they're not even calling anybody. Not even Carlo and Amy Fisher, who are apparently magic.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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