MONDO EXTRAS

When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

Amy Fisher hides a framed photo in her dresser and, like, who knows if that's going to come up again, my guess is that she is also in love with a Montebello, but since they never told us who the hell she is, she might well be a Montebello and this is like some kind of photographic evidence. Also remember that I was still hoping she'd go insane and shoot Gina in the jaw, which maybe made her a little more suspicious to me than she should have been. Any case, the furtiveness of the gesture makes me wonder if she's going to act all crazy like Rita Moreno and end up nearly gang-raped by dancing Montebello delivery guys, because that would also be cool.

"Where are all my photographs?" asks Gina, which makes sense, given that this was once her bedroom, before it was redecahrated in one thousand shades of pink. "In the garaaaadge, you can take um with ya when ya marry Caaaaaarlo," replies Amy Fisher, which…doesn't make sense, because what? Carlo? I hope he looks like Paul Rudd. Who is this girl, anyway? "What is going on here?" Gina says, blown away. "I'm marrying Carlo, I'm teaching, and I'm living in this purple leopard's den?"

You know, though, I give Gina little credit for getting spun by all this exposition. You come back from college and you're all of a sudden marrying "Carlo" and teaching preschool and…I mean, none of this you knew about? I mean, I get that it makes no sense, so we're on the same page as far as it being crazy, but none of this could have happened with the total ignorance you're pretending to have going on. So not only does it call attention to the basic inadequacy of the script, when even the characters find it laughable, but it also makes her look a little retarded. Not to mention the fact that she went to college for four years for photography in the first place, apparently with her parents' approval. Also not to mention the fact that the room is entirely PINK and not purple at all.

"Just because you leave town duzzen mean life staaaaaahps," moos Amy Fisher, even though that also is sense-deficient, given that apparently that's exactly what life did do while Gina was in college. I hate you, Amy Fisher. So then she tells Gina to change into "sumthin a little niceh" so they can go. Back to the pizza parlor. Where there's a surprise graduation party happening.

We see the "SURPRISE" screamed by the entire cast of Prestolanis, and then zoom over somewhere else, somewhere you figure out -- about an hour from now -- is in the city. Herman's Head* is sitting there with a bunch of people playing poker, and you can tell that the Montebellos -- or at least Joe -- are more forward-thinking, because there are black people. There's a French guy named, of course, Jean Paul, because that's everybody's name in France, even the mademoiselles.

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When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

Amy Fisher hides a framed photo in her dresser and, like, who knows if that's going to come up again, my guess is that she is also in love with a Montebello, but since they never told us who the hell she is, she might well be a Montebello and this is like some kind of photographic evidence. Also remember that I was still hoping she'd go insane and shoot Gina in the jaw, which maybe made her a little more suspicious to me than she should have been. Any case, the furtiveness of the gesture makes me wonder if she's going to act all crazy like Rita Moreno and end up nearly gang-raped by dancing Montebello delivery guys, because that would also be cool.

"Where are all my photographs?" asks Gina, which makes sense, given that this was once her bedroom, before it was redecahrated in one thousand shades of pink. "In the garaaaadge, you can take um with ya when ya marry Caaaaaarlo," replies Amy Fisher, which…doesn't make sense, because what? Carlo? I hope he looks like Paul Rudd. Who is this girl, anyway? "What is going on here?" Gina says, blown away. "I'm marrying Carlo, I'm teaching, and I'm living in this purple leopard's den?"

You know, though, I give Gina little credit for getting spun by all this exposition. You come back from college and you're all of a sudden marrying "Carlo" and teaching preschool and…I mean, none of this you knew about? I mean, I get that it makes no sense, so we're on the same page as far as it being crazy, but none of this could have happened with the total ignorance you're pretending to have going on. So not only does it call attention to the basic inadequacy of the script, when even the characters find it laughable, but it also makes her look a little retarded. Not to mention the fact that she went to college for four years for photography in the first place, apparently with her parents' approval. Also not to mention the fact that the room is entirely PINK and not purple at all.

"Just because you leave town duzzen mean life staaaaaahps," moos Amy Fisher, even though that also is sense-deficient, given that apparently that's exactly what life did do while Gina was in college. I hate you, Amy Fisher. So then she tells Gina to change into "sumthin a little niceh" so they can go. Back to the pizza parlor. Where there's a surprise graduation party happening.

We see the "SURPRISE" screamed by the entire cast of Prestolanis, and then zoom over somewhere else, somewhere you figure out -- about an hour from now -- is in the city. Herman's Head* is sitting there with a bunch of people playing poker, and you can tell that the Montebellos -- or at least Joe -- are more forward-thinking, because there are black people. There's a French guy named, of course, Jean Paul, because that's everybody's name in France, even the mademoiselles.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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