MONDO EXTRAS

When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

So Jomeo and Gina climb the fence and fall in love some more and then figure out that they are of two houses both alike in dignity and racial profiling and he mentions that she's got a very loud, annoying party going on, but it manages to be kind of flirty. She stutters out in a very Roswell way, "It's a kind of a graduation kind of a think," and he gives her a lemon.

They fall in love and touch the lemon. Dan Hedaya plugs in a microwave oven and this blows the circuits or something and there are sparks and it's quite meaningful, and then she dies. AWESOME. No, wait, she's okay. Carlo catches her and says, "Glad to see yuh still follin fuh me," and she grins, "Carlo, hi," and you totally get how their relationship works, which is awesome and a good job on one Shiri Appleby. Credit where it's due. Jomeo stares into space wetly and smiles some more at just nothing at all. Carlo apologizes or something, but his accent is…I don't know, he starts talking about the HOV lane on the Turnpike and civil engineering and crap, and he hugs her with one arm, and the little kids laugh for no reason.

So now it's dark in the Prestolani restaurant because of the microwave explosion, and instead of taking care of the now-rotting food everywhere, they light some candles and get weird. Gina and Papa P get very damned Meadow Soprano with each other about the Montebellos, and property law, and the utility pole, and who's going to fix it. An annoying little girl, who previously was cute, delivers this speech like she's onstage at a fourth grade talent show: "Everybody tells me I should hate the Montebellos but I dunno why I should hate them." The first time I heard this part I was doing dishes and just listening, and I totally thought it was like a memory of Gina's younger self or something, but no. Papa P now tells the story of Why We Hate the Montebellos.

"Once upon a time in the old country…"

Gina interrupts: "Uh, you mean Brooklyn." Everybody laughs, but they're just being nice because it's not actually funny.

"No, Verona. The real one, though. [Okay?] The Prestolanis created the greatest thing evah to come out of Italia." Everybody screams the word PIZZA. The story goes on and on and Gina is super=annoying, mouthing the story in a really irritating way. Great-great-whatever Giuseppe Prestolani, in addition to I guess inventing pizza, also invented pizza delivery, which is offensive in a whole new way somehow, I haven't put my finger on it, but it's like, why would the Myth Of How Coyote Created Pizza or whatever also include pizza delivery? Also there's a mosaic of all this shit happening on the wall, like in The Dark Crystal.

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When You're Here, You're Mistreated Like Family

by Jacob Clifton August 14, 2005
Pizza My Heart

So Jomeo and Gina climb the fence and fall in love some more and then figure out that they are of two houses both alike in dignity and racial profiling and he mentions that she's got a very loud, annoying party going on, but it manages to be kind of flirty. She stutters out in a very Roswell way, "It's a kind of a graduation kind of a think," and he gives her a lemon.

They fall in love and touch the lemon. Dan Hedaya plugs in a microwave oven and this blows the circuits or something and there are sparks and it's quite meaningful, and then she dies. AWESOME. No, wait, she's okay. Carlo catches her and says, "Glad to see yuh still follin fuh me," and she grins, "Carlo, hi," and you totally get how their relationship works, which is awesome and a good job on one Shiri Appleby. Credit where it's due. Jomeo stares into space wetly and smiles some more at just nothing at all. Carlo apologizes or something, but his accent is…I don't know, he starts talking about the HOV lane on the Turnpike and civil engineering and crap, and he hugs her with one arm, and the little kids laugh for no reason.

So now it's dark in the Prestolani restaurant because of the microwave explosion, and instead of taking care of the now-rotting food everywhere, they light some candles and get weird. Gina and Papa P get very damned Meadow Soprano with each other about the Montebellos, and property law, and the utility pole, and who's going to fix it. An annoying little girl, who previously was cute, delivers this speech like she's onstage at a fourth grade talent show: "Everybody tells me I should hate the Montebellos but I dunno why I should hate them." The first time I heard this part I was doing dishes and just listening, and I totally thought it was like a memory of Gina's younger self or something, but no. Papa P now tells the story of Why We Hate the Montebellos.

"Once upon a time in the old country…"

Gina interrupts: "Uh, you mean Brooklyn." Everybody laughs, but they're just being nice because it's not actually funny.

"No, Verona. The real one, though. [Okay?] The Prestolanis created the greatest thing evah to come out of Italia." Everybody screams the word PIZZA. The story goes on and on and Gina is super=annoying, mouthing the story in a really irritating way. Great-great-whatever Giuseppe Prestolani, in addition to I guess inventing pizza, also invented pizza delivery, which is offensive in a whole new way somehow, I haven't put my finger on it, but it's like, why would the Myth Of How Coyote Created Pizza or whatever also include pizza delivery? Also there's a mosaic of all this shit happening on the wall, like in The Dark Crystal.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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