MONDO EXTRAS

Possible MTV Lifetime Achievement Award Recipients
PROS: Heathers is gospel. Still. Even if it's as "that movie that's a lot like Mean Girls but more depressing." Acceptance speech could very possibly include telling Nicole Richie that bulimia is so '87.
CONS: Paris would probably take it as a shout-out to her. Died in 2001.

Wallace Shawn
PROS: Accomplished stage actor, screen actor, and playwright. Also played the "Inconthievable!" guy in The Princess Bride.
CONS: If they want short, bald, and funny-talking, they'll probably go for Yoda.

The Fraggles
PROS: Retro kitsch appeal: put these muppets on a set of pogs and watch 'em sell, sell, SELL! Acceptance speech by the Trash Heap will probably include a poignant statement on the war in Iraq.
CONS: Not a movie. Lingering tensions between Gobo and Red mean they won't agree to appear on stage together.

Warwick Davis
PROS: Played the lead Ewok in Return Of The Jedi, the Leprechaun in Leprechaun, and Willow in Willow -- that's super retro kitsch. Would probably show Verne Troyer a thing or two about how it's done.
CONS: Nobody appreciates the Ewoks anymore. Would probably end up getting menaced by the cast of Two-A-Days.

Jennifer Connelly's Breasts
PROS: Guided a generation of young men through their early sexual awakening in the 1990s. Could probably use the publicity; they've been reclusive as of late.
CONS: Last we saw them at the 2002 Oscars, were looking rather depressed. Would probably make a whole big boring speech about conflict diamonds and veganism.

Willy, The Killer Whale From Free Willy
PROS: Awfully venerable, for a whale -- you know they made three of those movies? Would probably get Leo DiCaprio to show up so they could talk about eco-friendliness as it pertains to our nation's marine parks.
CONS: Travolta's already showing up, and there's probably not room in the auditorium for them both. Died in 2003.

Moira Kelly's Toe Pick From The Cutting Edge
PROS: If you've ever seen the movie before, chances are you've trilled "Toe pick!" at someone in your lifetime. Lends itself easily to Blades Of Glory parody. Getting Moira Kelly to show up could convince other One Tree Hill stars to appear, and that Sophia Bush is just a doll.
CONS: Can't give a speech. Was just in that one movie. Getting Moira Kelly to show up could convince other One Tree Hill stars to appear, and Chad Michael Murray is so douchey, and would probably bring his child bride with him.

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Possible MTV Lifetime Achievement Award Recipients
PROS: Heathers is gospel. Still. Even if it's as "that movie that's a lot like Mean Girls but more depressing." Acceptance speech could very possibly include telling Nicole Richie that bulimia is so '87.
CONS: Paris would probably take it as a shout-out to her. Died in 2001.

Wallace Shawn
PROS: Accomplished stage actor, screen actor, and playwright. Also played the "Inconthievable!" guy in The Princess Bride.
CONS: If they want short, bald, and funny-talking, they'll probably go for Yoda.

The Fraggles
PROS: Retro kitsch appeal: put these muppets on a set of pogs and watch 'em sell, sell, SELL! Acceptance speech by the Trash Heap will probably include a poignant statement on the war in Iraq.
CONS: Not a movie. Lingering tensions between Gobo and Red mean they won't agree to appear on stage together.

Warwick Davis
PROS: Played the lead Ewok in Return Of The Jedi, the Leprechaun in Leprechaun, and Willow in Willow -- that's super retro kitsch. Would probably show Verne Troyer a thing or two about how it's done.
CONS: Nobody appreciates the Ewoks anymore. Would probably end up getting menaced by the cast of Two-A-Days.

Jennifer Connelly's Breasts
PROS: Guided a generation of young men through their early sexual awakening in the 1990s. Could probably use the publicity; they've been reclusive as of late.
CONS: Last we saw them at the 2002 Oscars, were looking rather depressed. Would probably make a whole big boring speech about conflict diamonds and veganism.

Willy, The Killer Whale From Free Willy
PROS: Awfully venerable, for a whale -- you know they made three of those movies? Would probably get Leo DiCaprio to show up so they could talk about eco-friendliness as it pertains to our nation's marine parks.
CONS: Travolta's already showing up, and there's probably not room in the auditorium for them both. Died in 2003.

Moira Kelly's Toe Pick From The Cutting Edge
PROS: If you've ever seen the movie before, chances are you've trilled "Toe pick!" at someone in your lifetime. Lends itself easily to Blades Of Glory parody. Getting Moira Kelly to show up could convince other One Tree Hill stars to appear, and that Sophia Bush is just a doll.
CONS: Can't give a speech. Was just in that one movie. Getting Moira Kelly to show up could convince other One Tree Hill stars to appear, and Chad Michael Murray is so douchey, and would probably bring his child bride with him.

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