MONDO EXTRAS

I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Later. Pete is drunk. Chaz gives a lecture in his creepy serial-killer voice about the joys of the solitude of fly-fishing.

Bathroom. Pete and Profit piss. Pete is dissing his brother, saying that his love of fly-fishing is not about the solitude, but that he uses fishing as a cover to go up north (what's north of Vancouver? The Yukon territory?) to a hotel and meet his mistress. Pete says that he just can't figure out who Chaz is "doing" this year. Profit posits that it's Aileen from Cosmetics. Pete doesn't know, and leaves without washing his hands. Shoot, I never get any good gossip at the urinal. I only have the awkward Don't Look Down-offs, or else find myself standing next to someone who feels the need to groan really loudly while urinating. Thanks, dude, I just love standing next to another guy with his dick out, groaning.

Restaurant. It's near empty. Man, they've closed that place down. Party animals. Pete, Pete's Wife, and Profit are left alone having brandy. Profit tells Pete that he's the next President of Acquisitions fo' sho'. Pete's Wife rubs Pete's drunken hand, lying about how proud Chaz is of his insecure, boozy brother. Pete starts dissing Chaz for hating when anyone does better than he does. He tells a boring story involving baseball tickets when they were kids and Chaz stapling himself in the head and blaming it on Pete so that neither of them could go to the game. "That is little Chaz in a nutshell," says Pete. We-ll. Awkward. The silence is interrupted by Pete telling the waiter that if he's done looking at his wife's (totally covered up) tits, he'll take the check.

Man, that check must have taken a long-ass time to be delivered, because suddenly the totally-coherent-but-just-rude Pete is passed out, being carried to the waiting car by Profit and an extra -- I mean, an extra playing a valet. In the car, Pete's Wife asks Profit if they can drop him off. He tells her he drove. They have some low talk about how she hates it when Pete drinks so much, and Profit says that it's not her fault and that he hates what it must being doing to her...and suddenly they're kissing, literally right over the snoozing Pete's head. Ah, but the kiss is not just a kiss, as Profit uses the moment to reach his creepy gloved hand into Pete's jacket pocket and remove the metal company letter of intent.

Day. G&G. A more sober Pete runs into Profit's office, announcing that they have a meeting in ten minutes and that he can't find the letter of intent. Profit says he has everything, and tells Gail to bring in two copies of the agreement. Pete babbles that everything is so "damn" complicated, with the Japanese and the Canadians (yeah, they always ruin everything! ["Hey!" -- Wing Chun]), and foreshadows that if one single paper doesn't get signed on time, the deal could implode. Gail brings in the two copies of the agreement. Pete tells Gail that Profit is a lifesaver. Yes, Butter Rum and strychnine.

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I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Later. Pete is drunk. Chaz gives a lecture in his creepy serial-killer voice about the joys of the solitude of fly-fishing.

Bathroom. Pete and Profit piss. Pete is dissing his brother, saying that his love of fly-fishing is not about the solitude, but that he uses fishing as a cover to go up north (what's north of Vancouver? The Yukon territory?) to a hotel and meet his mistress. Pete says that he just can't figure out who Chaz is "doing" this year. Profit posits that it's Aileen from Cosmetics. Pete doesn't know, and leaves without washing his hands. Shoot, I never get any good gossip at the urinal. I only have the awkward Don't Look Down-offs, or else find myself standing next to someone who feels the need to groan really loudly while urinating. Thanks, dude, I just love standing next to another guy with his dick out, groaning.

Restaurant. It's near empty. Man, they've closed that place down. Party animals. Pete, Pete's Wife, and Profit are left alone having brandy. Profit tells Pete that he's the next President of Acquisitions fo' sho'. Pete's Wife rubs Pete's drunken hand, lying about how proud Chaz is of his insecure, boozy brother. Pete starts dissing Chaz for hating when anyone does better than he does. He tells a boring story involving baseball tickets when they were kids and Chaz stapling himself in the head and blaming it on Pete so that neither of them could go to the game. "That is little Chaz in a nutshell," says Pete. We-ll. Awkward. The silence is interrupted by Pete telling the waiter that if he's done looking at his wife's (totally covered up) tits, he'll take the check.

Man, that check must have taken a long-ass time to be delivered, because suddenly the totally-coherent-but-just-rude Pete is passed out, being carried to the waiting car by Profit and an extra -- I mean, an extra playing a valet. In the car, Pete's Wife asks Profit if they can drop him off. He tells her he drove. They have some low talk about how she hates it when Pete drinks so much, and Profit says that it's not her fault and that he hates what it must being doing to her...and suddenly they're kissing, literally right over the snoozing Pete's head. Ah, but the kiss is not just a kiss, as Profit uses the moment to reach his creepy gloved hand into Pete's jacket pocket and remove the metal company letter of intent.

Day. G&G. A more sober Pete runs into Profit's office, announcing that they have a meeting in ten minutes and that he can't find the letter of intent. Profit says he has everything, and tells Gail to bring in two copies of the agreement. Pete babbles that everything is so "damn" complicated, with the Japanese and the Canadians (yeah, they always ruin everything! ["Hey!" -- Wing Chun]), and foreshadows that if one single paper doesn't get signed on time, the deal could implode. Gail brings in the two copies of the agreement. Pete tells Gail that Profit is a lifesaver. Yes, Butter Rum and strychnine.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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