MONDO EXTRAS

I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Later. Naked. Profit is on the computer. He tells us that our lives are a paper trail -- he pulls up a receipt from a lodge suite that Aileen, Chaz's shitty-businesswoman side dish, got for some whoring this weekend.

Outside. Profit, wearing a leprechaun-green suit, tells Pete's Wife the name of the same lodge Aileen and Chaz are going to. Ah. Sneaky. She says she knows it, and that she always pigs out at their restaurant on the way to the "fat farm." Whoa. Honey lives a fucked-up life. He proposes that she pretend she's going to said "spa," and that they'll really go to the lodge. "I can't believe we're doing this," Profit says. "Oh, we're doing this," she growls. "Trust me." They make out.

Pete's house. Pete kisses Pete's Wife goodbye.

Chaz's house. He kisses his wife goodbye, dressed like he's going fishing for the weekend. Profit tells us in a voice-over that trust is the foundation of any marriage.

A worker calls Profit on his giant WWII cell phone. He explains that, somehow, a date got switched on the metal-company document, and that now they need to have the letter of intent signed by the end of today or the deal is off. But Chaz is fishing! Profit helpfully tells Worker to go to Pete's house and explain everything and have him drive up to get Chaz's signature on the doc.

Pete. He sees the doc. Sees his future crumbling. Runs to the car to see Chaz, even if it means interrupting one of his brother's "fishing" trips.

Lodge. Which actually look more like DreamWorks's Glendale lot than anything. Pete's Wife checks in. I'm really glad women stopped wearing stretch pants so much out in public. The front desk tells her she has an "urgent" message. She goes to the pay phone. It's Profit. He stands in the bar watching her, but telling her that he's still at home and can't "do it," being a friend of Pete's; he asks her how she's going to feel having cheated on her husband? Then he tells her to hold on a second...and makes another call.

Lodge restaurant. Another part of the same lobby. A waiter brings Chaz (who is sitting with Aileen) a phone. He is told that someone is waiting for him out in the lobby.

Lobby. Pete pulls up. Chaz walks in. Meanwhile, Profit tells Pete's Wife that he can't do this. She tells him sadly that she loves him. Profit hangs up, still watching all of this from the lodge bar. Chaz enters to find Pete's Wife?! He asks her what she's doing here. Right then, Pete walks in and sees his brother and his wife "together" at an infamous place of whoring. Uh-oh. "With my wife?!" he sentence-fragments across the lobby. Pete approaches, and throws the letter of intent...which actually hits the camera. Oops. It must be the best take, because they keep it. As Pete's Wife tries to stop her husband, Pete punches out his boss and brother. Aileen runs in and asks Pete -- who has just clocked her lover four times -- what he's doing; she's remarkably calm about it. Chaz must get clocked all the time. Pete slowly, and not at all telegraphing his acting to the audience in a clunky way, realizes that Aileen is in fact Jack's mistress du jour, and not his wife, and stands up, his cable-knit sweater bunchy, realizing it's about to be sold for food money since its owner isn't going to have a job after today.

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I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Later. Naked. Profit is on the computer. He tells us that our lives are a paper trail -- he pulls up a receipt from a lodge suite that Aileen, Chaz's shitty-businesswoman side dish, got for some whoring this weekend.

Outside. Profit, wearing a leprechaun-green suit, tells Pete's Wife the name of the same lodge Aileen and Chaz are going to. Ah. Sneaky. She says she knows it, and that she always pigs out at their restaurant on the way to the "fat farm." Whoa. Honey lives a fucked-up life. He proposes that she pretend she's going to said "spa," and that they'll really go to the lodge. "I can't believe we're doing this," Profit says. "Oh, we're doing this," she growls. "Trust me." They make out.

Pete's house. Pete kisses Pete's Wife goodbye.

Chaz's house. He kisses his wife goodbye, dressed like he's going fishing for the weekend. Profit tells us in a voice-over that trust is the foundation of any marriage.

A worker calls Profit on his giant WWII cell phone. He explains that, somehow, a date got switched on the metal-company document, and that now they need to have the letter of intent signed by the end of today or the deal is off. But Chaz is fishing! Profit helpfully tells Worker to go to Pete's house and explain everything and have him drive up to get Chaz's signature on the doc.

Pete. He sees the doc. Sees his future crumbling. Runs to the car to see Chaz, even if it means interrupting one of his brother's "fishing" trips.

Lodge. Which actually look more like DreamWorks's Glendale lot than anything. Pete's Wife checks in. I'm really glad women stopped wearing stretch pants so much out in public. The front desk tells her she has an "urgent" message. She goes to the pay phone. It's Profit. He stands in the bar watching her, but telling her that he's still at home and can't "do it," being a friend of Pete's; he asks her how she's going to feel having cheated on her husband? Then he tells her to hold on a second...and makes another call.

Lodge restaurant. Another part of the same lobby. A waiter brings Chaz (who is sitting with Aileen) a phone. He is told that someone is waiting for him out in the lobby.

Lobby. Pete pulls up. Chaz walks in. Meanwhile, Profit tells Pete's Wife that he can't do this. She tells him sadly that she loves him. Profit hangs up, still watching all of this from the lodge bar. Chaz enters to find Pete's Wife?! He asks her what she's doing here. Right then, Pete walks in and sees his brother and his wife "together" at an infamous place of whoring. Uh-oh. "With my wife?!" he sentence-fragments across the lobby. Pete approaches, and throws the letter of intent...which actually hits the camera. Oops. It must be the best take, because they keep it. As Pete's Wife tries to stop her husband, Pete punches out his boss and brother. Aileen runs in and asks Pete -- who has just clocked her lover four times -- what he's doing; she's remarkably calm about it. Chaz must get clocked all the time. Pete slowly, and not at all telegraphing his acting to the audience in a clunky way, realizes that Aileen is in fact Jack's mistress du jour, and not his wife, and stands up, his cable-knit sweater bunchy, realizing it's about to be sold for food money since its owner isn't going to have a job after today.

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