MONDO EXTRAS

I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

We cut to a funeral where pallbearers carry a coffin. Thankfully, none of them is David Schwimmer. Profit continues voice-overing that Wayne was a VP of Acquisitions at Gracen & Gracen, and that he was overweight and overworked. We meet Jack Walters, the President of Acquisitions and a "decent man." He hugs the widow. We also meet Walters's secretary, Gail Koner, with full-on poofy '90s hair and a blue coat that makes her look like she's getting ready to expose herself to children. "Is that grief in her eyes, or is she hiding something?" asks Profit. And then, adding such a neat storytelling dimension I'm going to steal it someday, he says, "Let's find out." And cue Profit. He introduces himself. Seems he's taking over for the dead guy as Jr. VP of Acquisitions. Gail excuses herself but Profit stops her, creepily telling her she must be visiting her mother who has MS, rattling off Gail's visiting days. The overstepping-his-bounds conversation continues until Profit reveals that he used to work in "auditing" at the company. The color drains from Gail's face. Good thing that loud-ass coat has enough color to offset it.

Suddenly Gail and Profit are having coffee at a café, where Profit reveals that he discovered she was embezzling hundredths-of-pennies -- a few hundred bucks a month total -- to get her mother a better room at her nursing home. Profit reveals that he can make this whole thing go away if Gail does him a favor. Then he leans in and, with no apology or remorse (that special voodoo that makes Profit so gleefully evil), says, "I could really use twenty uninterrupted minutes on your boss's computer."

As Profit voice-overs stuff about G&G being the fifteenth largest corporation in the world, Gail leads him up through the empty building to Jack's office. Hats off to the costuming department: Profit is wearing a giant layered overcoat with dark strangler gloves. Very Jack the Ripper. All he needs now is a top hat and a few hookers to ice.

Profit reveals to us that he wants Jack's job -- and one gets the sense that nothing will stop him. Except, you know, Fox canceling the show. Now we get the obligatory ahead-of-its-time-then but really-fake-now computer graphics, wherein Gail and Profit sit in front of the touch-screen computer (what happened to those?), leading themselves through a virtual-reality sim of the office and into Jack's "desk," where Profit can then read privileged corporate memos. There are even total Lawnmower Man faces of the actual workers in this fake computer office. How very Disclosure of them. You know the day the writers were shown the computer footage Fox had put together, everyone was just fucking super-psyched!

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I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

We cut to a funeral where pallbearers carry a coffin. Thankfully, none of them is David Schwimmer. Profit continues voice-overing that Wayne was a VP of Acquisitions at Gracen & Gracen, and that he was overweight and overworked. We meet Jack Walters, the President of Acquisitions and a "decent man." He hugs the widow. We also meet Walters's secretary, Gail Koner, with full-on poofy '90s hair and a blue coat that makes her look like she's getting ready to expose herself to children. "Is that grief in her eyes, or is she hiding something?" asks Profit. And then, adding such a neat storytelling dimension I'm going to steal it someday, he says, "Let's find out." And cue Profit. He introduces himself. Seems he's taking over for the dead guy as Jr. VP of Acquisitions. Gail excuses herself but Profit stops her, creepily telling her she must be visiting her mother who has MS, rattling off Gail's visiting days. The overstepping-his-bounds conversation continues until Profit reveals that he used to work in "auditing" at the company. The color drains from Gail's face. Good thing that loud-ass coat has enough color to offset it.

Suddenly Gail and Profit are having coffee at a café, where Profit reveals that he discovered she was embezzling hundredths-of-pennies -- a few hundred bucks a month total -- to get her mother a better room at her nursing home. Profit reveals that he can make this whole thing go away if Gail does him a favor. Then he leans in and, with no apology or remorse (that special voodoo that makes Profit so gleefully evil), says, "I could really use twenty uninterrupted minutes on your boss's computer."

As Profit voice-overs stuff about G&G being the fifteenth largest corporation in the world, Gail leads him up through the empty building to Jack's office. Hats off to the costuming department: Profit is wearing a giant layered overcoat with dark strangler gloves. Very Jack the Ripper. All he needs now is a top hat and a few hookers to ice.

Profit reveals to us that he wants Jack's job -- and one gets the sense that nothing will stop him. Except, you know, Fox canceling the show. Now we get the obligatory ahead-of-its-time-then but really-fake-now computer graphics, wherein Gail and Profit sit in front of the touch-screen computer (what happened to those?), leading themselves through a virtual-reality sim of the office and into Jack's "desk," where Profit can then read privileged corporate memos. There are even total Lawnmower Man faces of the actual workers in this fake computer office. How very Disclosure of them. You know the day the writers were shown the computer footage Fox had put together, everyone was just fucking super-psyched!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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