MONDO EXTRAS

I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Profit is at home, mailing this stolen document to a newspaper, voice-overing to us about a scandal wherein G&G bought a baby food corporation and then covered up the fact that the apple juice was just sugar and contained no actual apple juice. Dude, that's the best kind! "The problem with cutting corners is that it always comes back to haunt you."

Cue it coming back to haunt you: Chaz Gracen, CEO of the company, is pissed as he power-walks into a board meeting, having lost $8 million in stock value that morning because of the Profit-leaked apple juice story. Chaz wants to know who leaked the story. Was it Sr. VP of acquisitions Mary Miller? Or jealous brother Pete Gracen. Or...Profit himself?! Chaz wonders who the new guy is, and Jack explains. Chaz says that, as the new guy, Profit is "the only person in this room that [Chaz] can trust." Oh, the irony. Pete says that everyone is going to have to take a lie-detector test. Profit makes a great speech in which he says exactly what he did (blackmailing the secretary) by way of going on to say that G&G is a family and that he thinks doing a lie detector on everyone is wrong and that if that means he's not supposed to be part of the company, he doesn't want to be. Chaz says, "Profit is right," and says that you have to trust the people you work with. He ends the meeting as a giant wall opens up into his huge office. Man, these production designer love them some moving walls. Chaz tells a lackey that he wants every high-level employee investigated, and then he walks into...yes! It's the obligatory Meeting With "The Japanese." They all bow. I love the '90s!

A cool Mustangy car pulls up. This is either Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street or a new "rebellious" character! Profit voice-overs that this is Joanne Meltzer, the head of West Coast security for G&G. (So I guess we're in Vancouver?) Profit goes on to say that a personality test he read reveals that she's fanatically in pursuit of a goal, and that "her obsessive personality is undoubtedly the result of a severe childhood trauma," but that it serves her well as an investigator. In her spare time, Joanne likes helicopter skiing and Tai Chi. Man, it's really very helpful as a writer when instead of demonstrating a character's personality through action, you can just have another character read off her entire Character Breakdown from your original Fox pitch. Well played, McNamara.

Profit is at home with his computer, and as he watches Joanne's little avatar somehow on the company computer, he mentions that she's a vegetarian and says, "Joanne. I hope with that lifestyle, you're getting all your protein." And then he takes a bite from a huge chicken drumstick, standing naked with bed hair, and smirks. And no. I did not make that up.

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I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Profit is at home, mailing this stolen document to a newspaper, voice-overing to us about a scandal wherein G&G bought a baby food corporation and then covered up the fact that the apple juice was just sugar and contained no actual apple juice. Dude, that's the best kind! "The problem with cutting corners is that it always comes back to haunt you."

Cue it coming back to haunt you: Chaz Gracen, CEO of the company, is pissed as he power-walks into a board meeting, having lost $8 million in stock value that morning because of the Profit-leaked apple juice story. Chaz wants to know who leaked the story. Was it Sr. VP of acquisitions Mary Miller? Or jealous brother Pete Gracen. Or...Profit himself?! Chaz wonders who the new guy is, and Jack explains. Chaz says that, as the new guy, Profit is "the only person in this room that [Chaz] can trust." Oh, the irony. Pete says that everyone is going to have to take a lie-detector test. Profit makes a great speech in which he says exactly what he did (blackmailing the secretary) by way of going on to say that G&G is a family and that he thinks doing a lie detector on everyone is wrong and that if that means he's not supposed to be part of the company, he doesn't want to be. Chaz says, "Profit is right," and says that you have to trust the people you work with. He ends the meeting as a giant wall opens up into his huge office. Man, these production designer love them some moving walls. Chaz tells a lackey that he wants every high-level employee investigated, and then he walks into...yes! It's the obligatory Meeting With "The Japanese." They all bow. I love the '90s!

A cool Mustangy car pulls up. This is either Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street or a new "rebellious" character! Profit voice-overs that this is Joanne Meltzer, the head of West Coast security for G&G. (So I guess we're in Vancouver?) Profit goes on to say that a personality test he read reveals that she's fanatically in pursuit of a goal, and that "her obsessive personality is undoubtedly the result of a severe childhood trauma," but that it serves her well as an investigator. In her spare time, Joanne likes helicopter skiing and Tai Chi. Man, it's really very helpful as a writer when instead of demonstrating a character's personality through action, you can just have another character read off her entire Character Breakdown from your original Fox pitch. Well played, McNamara.

Profit is at home with his computer, and as he watches Joanne's little avatar somehow on the company computer, he mentions that she's a vegetarian and says, "Joanne. I hope with that lifestyle, you're getting all your protein." And then he takes a bite from a huge chicken drumstick, standing naked with bed hair, and smirks. And no. I did not make that up.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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